Do I tell someone? Who?

sourstix

Wed, Jan 20 2016, 12:59 pm

please calm down. and find out more info before you report. how about asking this student what the other posters asked? how old are the siblings? aproximately when does the mother leave and come back? is she a mature kid? a responsible one? cna you have a conversation with the mother and gently get to her that you are concerned?

DONOT GO TO CPS YET. you dont have grounds to suspect anything yet.

thunderstorm

Wed, Jan 20 2016, 1:04 pm

Children fantasize and make up stories. First check to see that the details are true. Its possible the mother has a baby monitor set up by a neighbor or something. The mother could also be running outside for 5 minutes to take out the garbage etc....you need to really get all the facts before taking action. I would not call CPS right away unless there are other signs of abuse or neglect. I had a neighbor who's son asked another neighbors kid to cross him and he went to the pizza shop to get himself slush...some person saw the kid asking someone else to cross him back and asked the kid where his mother was, he said she was home...this person went and called the cops...causing a domino effect of police reports , CPS etc...this mother is a wonderful mother and thought her 9 year old was playing outside with the neighbors kid. Things happen and it's not always as the kid portrays it.

amother

Teal

Wed, Jan 20 2016, 1:13 pm

sourstix wrote:

The siblings are 2 and 1.
She babysits for a few hours, at night.
She has a strong sense of responsibility, but she is not very mature or "street smart", and I would not be confident that she would know what to do in an emergency, or be able to carry it out, even if she did know.

I hear you that it is possible she is getting the details wrong, either by mistake or on purpose. This is just what she told me.

amother

Peach

Wed, Jan 20 2016, 1:32 pm

You should defintally check it out more before you report anything. Don't just take her word to base it all on. Sometimes I get a babysitter for my kids and I tell my 8 year old to 'watch' the two year old because he doesn't do well with babysitters and my 8 year old plays with him and makes the younger one happy. My 8 year old loves it, he feels very important. He also knows there's a babysitter in charge of everyone. I can imagine him saying in school that he watched his younger brother when mommy is away. Please look into this much further, 8 year olds don't always know or understand the whole picture or explain everything going on.

SingALong

Wed, Jan 20 2016, 1:36 pm

My 4 year old "babysits" her 2 little brothers in the playroom while I'm in the adjoining room, kitchen making supper. I tell her what a big girl she is and how she's in charge. I could totally see her telling her Morah and friends that I let her babysit.

8 year old is way to young to be alone, what if baby wakes up or if chv there's a fire? You can ask the mother in a non confrontational way...

trixx

Wed, Jan 20 2016, 1:41 pm

And I wouldn't call cps before first speaking to the mom. I've heard too many stories of cps breaking up families based on false reports. Especially if the kid is otherwise taken care of, clean, and brings food to school then cps is NOT the answer, I would go local and involve somebody else in the community (if it's not neglect but just a matter of the mom being dumb naive or clueless). Police record never goes away and they will hound the mom forever for it.

STMommy

Wed, Jan 20 2016, 1:50 pm

You are all giving the OP VERY BAD ADVICE.
She is a mandated reporter. Mandated reporters are required to report without conducting their own investigation.
CPS is an investigative body. They are the ones who are charged with determining the facts of the situation.
If there is no neglect taking place they will close their investigation and deem the case unfounded.

Quote:

OP, you know enough to warrant a call.

Sincerely,
someone who unfortunately has needed to call CPS very often

Simple1

Wed, Jan 20 2016, 2:38 pm

trixx wrote:

This. There are other ways to intervene without hurting the family. And if you do follow others advice and call, at least warn the parents first. That alone may help.

Last edited by Simple1 on Wed, Jan 20 2016, 2:42 pm; edited 1 time in total

FranticFrummie

Wed, Jan 20 2016, 2:39 pm

If you are in the US, the child must be 12 or older to babysit. You must get to the bottom of this. At the very least, talk to the parents and get the whole story. Make sure they know what the laws are, and how much trouble they could get into if they were reported. Give them a chance to hire a teenager, before someone else reports them and their family gets dragged through the courts.

If the parents are not open to your conversation, then you MUST report them, no matter how bad you feel about it at the time. Believe me, you'll feel a lot worse if CVS something bad would happen while the child was in charge.

trixx

Wed, Jan 20 2016, 2:56 pm

STMommy wrote:

Quote:

OP, you know enough to warrant a call.

Sincerely,
someone who unfortunately has needed to call CPS very often

At whose expense? How many news stories are there of the boy playing in the backyard, or the mom watching the kid cross the street, nosy stranger calls CPS and the mom is fighting it in courts for years. sorry but CPS is not always the answer. CPS is when you hear a child non-stop crying from the neighbor's house and the parents always yelling, or when you see abuse, or when the kids are dirty and neglected or any other scenario where you need to anonymously report terrible conditions bc the kids are going through hell every day otherwise.

CPS is not for a stupid or lazy mom who thinks her kid is big enough to babysit (if that is indeed the case). it would be a bigger chessed to intervene first. and sorry but if you were to call CPS on any frum functoining home you bet they would find things to nitpick on. 8 kids under the age of 10? mom frazzled? too many fires on the stove at once? or fires on and kids in the next room and mom stepped out of the kitchen? outlets not properly covered? (yes, these are generally unsafe conditions.) but you can bet that once there is an ongoing investigation, all these things will be strikes against the family. there's way too much helicoptering going on in America nowadays and if it doesn't absolutely warrant it, CPS can cause more harm than good.

trixx

Wed, Jan 20 2016, 3:19 pm

STMommy wrote:

Trixx I have to disagree. Unsafe conditions SHOULD be a strike against parents. That means they are putting their children at risk!
But my biggest problem with your post is that you ignored the fact that OP is a MANDATED REPORTER.

We can agree to disagree. Only OP knows the actual extent of the situation.

Maybe I'm just old school (I am not that old actually) and remember being left alone with an older sibling, biking to the library myself or walking to my parent's office a block away from the house while pushing the baby in a stroller. Actually someone stopped me and called a police officer (I was around 10) who walked with me the rest of the way. That was over a decade ago, you can bet that that same cop today would have put CPS on my parents so fast and launched an investigation.

Mandated reporter, if her suspicions meet the following criteria...

PHYSICAL ABUSE:
Has the child sustained a serious physical injury, or is the child at imminent danger of harm of sustaining a serious physical injury?

AND

Did the person legally responsible:
Inflict the injury?
Allow the injury to be inflicted?
Create an imminent danger of the injury?
Allow an imminent danger of the injury to be created?

s-xual ABUSE:
Has the person legally responsible

Had s-xual contact with the child?
Allowed s-xual contact to occur?
Used a child in a s-xual performance?
Allowed a child to engage in prostitution?

NEGLECT:

Has the child been harmed or impaired or is the child at imminent danger of harm or impairment?
AND
Has the person legally responsible failed to provide a minimal degree of care under the circumstances in question?
AND
Did that failure cause harm or impairment to the child, or create an imminent danger of harm or impairment?

imokay

Wed, Jan 20 2016, 3:51 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Actually, the law differs based on location. For instance, in NYC, there is no official minimum age, it's at the parents' discretion
http://www1.nyc.gov/nyc-resour.....itter