Bathing children | Imamother

mummiedearest

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:14 pm

my pediatrician just told me that my 8 yr old is too young to be bathing herself. he states that children should be bathed by parents until puberty, he'd have me bathe her for the next 2-3 years. I asked him why, and he said that kids at this age are not aware of proper hygiene practices. I really don't see this as such an issue. opinions, please? I think it's a little nuts to continue bathing a child this old if I feel she does a good job herself. if she asks for help washing her hair, I'm happy to oblige, but I'm not sitting and scrubbing her. I want her to gain some sense of privacy.

heidi

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:18 pm

OP, I have never heard something like this!
For a healthy, normal 8 year old, it is an invasion of her privacy for anyone to bathe her.
Is she getting recurrent infections or something else that indicates she is unable to properly wash herself?
If not, ignore the dr. and go by your gut instinct.

Rutabaga

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:29 pm

That's ridiculous!

You can discuss proper hygiene with her if that is a concern, but I don't think you need to bathe her yourself.

Are you supposed to brush her teeth for her as well?

Isn't parenting about teaching our children what they should do (on so many levels) so they can eventually be independent?

mommyla

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:29 pm

Sounds bizarre. My 7-year-old son has been showering by himself for about a year now. In the beginning I watched him to instruct him on proper shower techniques, then supervised him while he took a few showers with no direction - when I saw that he was consistently washing all the right parts properly, I let him shower alone. I still pop in once in a while to make sure he's washing right, but for the most part he showers alone.

Bathing your kid until puberty? That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.

mummiedearest

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:30 pm

heidi wrote:

nope, no repeat infections having to do with bathing. I happen to like the doctor for other reasons, I was just really surprised by this. it came up because he asked if she had a rash (we went for a sick visit) and I told him that he should ask her, she bathes herself. he seemed so surprised that I allow her to bathe herself.

Iymnok

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:38 pm

Starting at age 5-7 I feel they need to take responsibility for their own hygiene and get a sense of privacy.
My dd7 gets upset if I help her too much.

amother

Gold

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:00 pm

I have a 5 year old on the spectrum, and he mostly bathes himself (I still supervise, I expect next year, he'll be able to do it completely on his own). I will also add, the year I was a camp counselor, I had the 8-9 year old bunk. You think I was bathing my campers? In fact, there actually WAS one 8 year old who was still getting bathed at home and had no idea how to do it herself. It was absolutely humiliating for her and the other girls made fun of her for it, first because she went as long as she could get away with not bathing, and then because when she finally realized she had to shower, my co-counselor had to stand outside the curtain and give her instructions.

5*Mom

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:16 pm

asp40 wrote:

My kids have been showering since age 5. They are just fine. I think something with your pediatrician is off.

Same here. Showering with supervision at 5-ish; showering alone by 6-ish. For a typically developing child, 8 is waaay to old to have someone in the bathroom while bathing, let alone to be bathed by someone else.

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:19 pm

Sorry, but there is something extremely wrong with your pediatrician and his advice. At around age 5, most children can wash themselves with parents supervision. Children should be progressively given more responsibility for their self care to establish a healthy sense of boundaries and privacy. This is an important part of psychological development and is important for abuse prevention ( if a child feels a strong sense of her body being her own, she will have strong alarm bells if someone violates her body.).
It is extremely inappropriate to physically bathe a preteen girl unless she is developmentally delayed.

gittelchana

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 6:07 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

Until puberty? Really? Does she also have to be bathed by her father if her mother is out of town? Rolling Eyes

Please, give me a break. At 8 years old she can bathe herself! And if she didn't thoroughly wash herself.... Nu.... I can think of worse things. She will learn with time.

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 6:15 pm

I wonder if your pediatrician has young children or if he has adult children and wasn't involved in their day to day care.
I can imagine that someone new to being around children would expect parents to be involved with everything until the teenaged years.

mummiedearest

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 7:19 pm

amother wrote:

his kids are adults now. I wonder if it is a cultural difference, actually. he's definitely not originally from this country. I intend to just ignore this bit of advice, I was just shocked to hear this from him.