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Moving to Lakewood-Regret?
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2016, 10:50 pm
Hi,
We are moving in the summer iy"h, but the recent wave of negativity against Lakewood has got me thinking. Is the social situation really that snobby and bad? My other choice would be Monsey, however the schools have clearly stated that they do not have room for people who move. Is my regret legit? Hope to hear some positivity
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ydragm




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2016, 10:59 pm
No regrets at all. I moved 3 yrs ago and I luv it luv it luv it. It took me about a yr to adjust but now I'm doing great.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2016, 11:10 pm
I moved from NY a while ago and have no regrets.
Baruch hashem bli ayin horah, my kids got into great schools. If you have little kids then the outdoors is a breath of fresh air compared to NY. Also, if you end up in an area with an eruv it's really great!

This town has a lot of good things going for it what with all the chessed organizations and plethora of amenities geared from frum life, from drs to shopping to anything one can imagine.

However, I am still looking for a neighborhood, shul etc. where my family would fit in.
Also looking for friends. This area of my life is a barren land. However, it is definitely not worse than in NY. I would venture to say it is even better.

I would suggest that you research the neighborhoods and shuls, possibly consider living not far from friends if you have any in town.

Hatzlacha and welcome!
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2016, 11:12 pm
Thats the problem with lh... you just wrote off the whole town as snobby and as having a 'social situation' because some people are having a hard time in town or from some people who like to talk and dont live here so they dont truly know what they are talking about. There are people who are always going to find something to complain about. Look at the reviews of some products/items ..all the bad mouthing/complaining written there that I cant understand. Nothing in thoes review match my experiance with the product/item. Yes there definitly are very different kinds of neighborhoods around town . But that is a good thing. Not every one has to fit into a mold like some people like to say ... you have to find your nick and you should be very happy here. Bh we are
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amother
Jade


 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2016, 11:23 pm
Cerulean, if you were referring to the OP I think there is no LH in her post but rather a legitimate question. She asked (!) ppl who live here to clarify whether this town is livable.
No statements were made at all, and no "writing off the whole town".

If, however, you were referring to my post then I'll clarify.
I have specified that I personally have not been able to find my place here yet.
It is not a reflection on the whole town, rather than on the fact that my particular neighborhood appears not to be a good fit for me.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2016, 11:27 pm
amother wrote:
Hi,
We are moving in the summer iy"h, but the recent wave of negativity against Lakewood has got me thinking
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amother
Jade


 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2016, 11:48 pm
amother wrote:


Nu? The op referenced the fact that there has been recently some talking about the place, not that the place is either good or bad in the reality.
She didn't specify anything and has been quite discreet. I'd say she left it to "hameyvin yavin". Not sure it would even be avak lh, most definitely not lh.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2016, 8:58 am
A lot depends on where you're moving from, how old your kids are... but I think you can make it work. There is so much there that is incredible, as far as resources and people, and iy"H I hope you find them easily.
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amother
Oak


 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2016, 10:01 am
There was a family where I work in lkwd as a therapist that had a few girls in the school.. They moved this summer to lkwd and they said it didnt work so they picked up and moved back to boro park now mid yr
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2016, 10:06 am
like everything in life you need mazel. so welcome to lakewood and dont give up on your dreams. its a beautiful place and very nice people. remember it takes time to get used to things. its diff then the city. you need to do more driving. are your kids in school? do you know anyoen here. people here are generally not snobby.

dont let negativity get to you. dont just go by what your reading. give yourself a chance. are you buying a house? then you will be more committed. so jump in with us and go along with the ride. hashem should giv eyou hatzlacha and you should be successful.

kol haschalos kashos. its important to remember.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2016, 10:07 am
PinkFridge wrote:
A lot depends on where you're moving from, how old your kids are... but I think you can make it work. There is so much there that is incredible, as far as resources and people, and iy"H I hope you find them easily.

100%agree. I love it here, but I definitely am happier in my current neighborhood than I was in my previous one. I love how many choices there are in Lakewood - tutors who specialize in both kriyah and gemarah and know yiddish, or a store that sells a hard-to-find specialty item with a hechsher that I eat. I know people like to bash lakewood and the school admission problems, but once you are in a school, you will not find a group of more dedicated and caring mechanchim and mechanchos anywhere (I say this as someone who works in one school and has a business catering to a few schools.) And I love my neighbors! I happen not to be a "socializer" (too busy) but I love that when I leave my house on shabbos, I can have a pleasant interaction with every woman I meet, even if it's just a 2 second shmooze in passing. (That was lacking in my old development, so it's still such a nice experience.)

I came to a few realizations that I think really helps your sanity in Lakewood:
1) Not everyone is cut out for development living (I'm not) and if you do live in a development, make sure you fit in to the crowd. Developments, being self-contained, are prone to groupthink and HS style dynamics (based on the 3 developments I've lived in)

2) Try to get into the school that works for you - NOT the "top" school or the current flavor-of-the-month. Look at your kids and yourself realistically and pick a school accordingly. I have a friend who runs around lying and coaching her kids to lie about their family ski vacation on midwinter, because it's against the school rules. just send your kids to a school where the rules match your lifestyle and values! (Or change your lifestyle.) Don't make a tumult getting in to the "best" school and then run around lying and scheming for the next 15 years. We'll all be happier.
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2016, 11:19 am
debsey wrote:
100%agree. I love it here, but I definitely am happier in my current neighborhood than I was in my previous one. I love how many choices there are in Lakewood - tutors who specialize in both kriyah and gemarah and know yiddish, or a store that sells a hard-to-find specialty item with a hechsher that I eat. I know people like to bash lakewood and the school admission problems, but once you are in a school, you will not find a group of more dedicated and caring mechanchim and mechanchos anywhere (I say this as someone who works in one school and has a business catering to a few schools.) And I love my neighbors! I happen not to be a "socializer" (too busy) but I love that when I leave my house on shabbos, I can have a pleasant interaction with every woman I meet, even if it's just a 2 second shmooze in passing. (That was lacking in my old development, so it's still such a nice experience.)

I came to a few realizations that I think really helps your sanity in Lakewood:
1) Not everyone is cut out for development living (I'm not) and if you do live in a development, make sure you fit in to the crowd. Developments, being self-contained, are prone to groupthink and HS style dynamics (based on the 3 developments I've lived in)

2) Try to get into the school that works for you - NOT the "top" school or the current flavor-of-the-month. Look at your kids and yourself realistically and pick a school accordingly. I have a friend who runs around lying and coaching her kids to lie about their family ski vacation on midwinter, because it's against the school rules. just send your kids to a school where the rules match your lifestyle and values! (Or change your lifestyle.) Don't make a tumult getting in to the "best" school and then run around lying and scheming for the next 15 years. We'll all be happier.


And I will add that to this that once your children are all grown up and living elsewhere and your parnosa isn't dependent on the frum olam , Lakewood is just about the best place on hashems green earth to be, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE MALE


Last edited by naturalmom5 on Thu, Feb 04 2016, 7:12 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Plum


 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2016, 11:30 am
just keep in mind that lakewood is primarily a yeshivish community that was built up around BMG. If you have yeshivish hashkafos then you will do fine here. You and your dh need to respect the roshei yeshiva and your children should respect benei torah. I think the people who are having a hard time are more modern and not interested in a yeshivish lifestyle. Also chassidim who seemed to have swarmed here and want to build their own community in a pre existing one might not enjoy our yeshiva environment. If you are simply coming for a more affordable house and you are not respectful of the yeshivish crowd then it might not be for you.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2016, 11:34 am
amother wrote:
just keep in mind that lakewood is primarily a yeshivish community that was built up around BMG. If you have yeshivish hashkafos then you will do fine here. You and your dh need to respect the roshei yeshiva and your children should respect benei torah. I think the people who are having a hard time are more modern and not interested in a yeshivish lifestyle. Also chassidim who seemed to have swarmed here and want to build their own community in a pre existing one might not enjoy our yeshiva environment. If you are simply coming for a more affordable house and you are not respectful of the yeshivish crowd then it might not be for you.


There is so much misinformation in your post, I wouldn't know where to start.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2016, 11:39 am
amother wrote:
just keep in mind that lakewood is primarily a yeshivish community that was built up around BMG. If you have yeshivish hashkafos then you will do fine here. You and your dh need to respect the roshei yeshiva and your children should respect benei torah. I think the people who are having a hard time are more modern and not interested in a yeshivish lifestyle. Also chassidim who seemed to have swarmed here and want to build their own community in a pre existing one might not enjoy our yeshiva environment. If you are simply coming for a more affordable house and you are not respectful of the yeshivish crowd then it might not be for you.


Just keep in mind that the US was primarily founded by the original colonists, think people who came across on the Mayflower. If you are okay with the lifestyle they set forth on these lands, you will do fine in the US. If you are different, you are better off going elsewhere. If you are simply looking for rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness it might not be for you.
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L K




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2016, 12:09 pm
Chayalle wrote:
Just keep in mind that the US was primarily founded by the original colonists, think people who came across on the Mayflower. If you are okay with the lifestyle they set forth on these lands, you will do fine in the US. If you are different, you are better off going elsewhere. If you are simply looking for rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness it might not be for you.


Lol you should absolutely be teaching history in schools
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2016, 12:12 pm
L K wrote:
Lol you should absolutely be teaching history in schools


Actually, my DD would (at this point) be better qualified, having just past her American Government mid-term (apparently the teacher is MURDER and she came home crying that she made up the whole test and for sure failed...and actually pulled a pretty decent grade, to her surprise and relief...)

Thanks though Smile
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L K




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2016, 12:13 pm
naturalmom5 wrote:
?

And I will add that to this that once your children are all grown up and living elsewhere and your parnosa isn't dependent on the frum olam , Lakewood is just about the best place on hashems green earth to be, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE MALE


Naturalmom, I'm sorry that you seem to be enjoying it here so much Sad
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2016, 12:28 pm
amother wrote:
just keep in mind that lakewood is primarily a yeshivish community that was built up around BMG. If you have yeshivish hashkafos then you will do fine here. You and your dh need to respect the roshei yeshiva and your children should respect benei torah. I think the people who are having a hard time are more modern and not interested in a yeshivish lifestyle. Also chassidim who seemed to have swarmed here and want to build their own community in a pre existing one might not enjoy our yeshiva environment. If you are simply coming for a more affordable house and you are not respectful of the yeshivish crowd then it might not be for you.





Thats the problem. This is how lakewood started out. But its not like that today and some people are just not exepting the facts. There are so many different neighborhood here that everyone can find their place if they wanted.
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 04 2016, 12:42 pm
there are about 3,000 chasidim now in lakewood! I dont think that is a problem for op.
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