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Would you want to know?
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Would you want to know if someone figured out who you are on imamother
Yes  
 84%  [ 136 ]
No  
 15%  [ 25 ]
Total Votes : 161



33055




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 07 2016, 3:14 pm
zaq wrote:
Koff, koff, I think you mean SB. Or maybe you did mean BS, but that could hardly be the halacha.

Lying for SB does not mean one has carte blanche to lie because your spouse wouldn't like what you did. Lie to the wife, tell her you were at a shiur when you were out drinking with the boys--or, worse, girls? No, hon. That's not lying for the sake of SB--that's lying to save your miserable toches.

Lying for SB is more like saying that that dress the color of puke that hangs like a potato sack and makes you look like death warmed over that you bought for only $500 at an "all sales final" event is very nice and he's glad you bought it. Or your telling him that his agonizingly bad attempt at a Barak Obama impression that made him look not only stupid but inept and unfunny, was really a gem of comedic art. THAT's the kind of lie that's permitted for SB.


Sorry. That was auto-correct.

I like rov zaq's interpretation of halacha better.

I was told that it is OK to lie to the wife when the husband was caught with a young boy so as not to break up the family or when the husband was accused of molesting the cleaning lady. I rather have a bright line rule than one that creeps to what is unexceptable.

In my book, lying to spouses is plain wrong and I would rather know that I made an expensive mistake with the puke colored dress than to wear it and look not nice. I also would prefer to know that I am making a fool of myself rather than continue to look stupid and inept with my comedic impressions. I think spouses should protect the other spouse's dignity when they can.

We have walls around tznius rules. We take on more than basic halacha warrants. Why can't we have similar protections for integrity?
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bigblueyes




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 07 2016, 3:17 pm
It wouldn't even be possible for someone to figure me out,but if they would then it would nice to know. But I wouldnt post very personal info ever,anyway.
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 07 2016, 3:28 pm
I'm sure I have family on here but they are readers and not posters. I don't share anything here that I wouldn't share with any of my female cousins or friends so being 'discovered' is really no big deal to me.

My family and I FB, phone, skype, text and send random post cards and greeting cards. We all know each other rather well. And knowing each other means that some of the kinds of topics that appeared here were matters of our previous conversations. None of us are curious about how many times one changes linens or what type of post coital clean up is necessary.

This place is many things to many different people.
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cholenteater




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 07 2016, 4:09 pm
Yes I would appreciate if someone figures out who I am irl. If I had posted personal info (which I don't usually) I would be able to edit posts to amother or even change my screenname if necessary.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 07 2016, 6:06 pm
Squishy wrote:


I was told that it is OK to lie to the wife when the husband was caught with a young boy so as not to break up the family or when the husband was accused of molesting the cleaning lady.

?


If I had a rav who told me that, I'd find myself a new rav, pronto. Fire yours; hire mine.
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Butterfly07




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 07 2016, 9:03 pm
Yes! lol
Please let me know so I can change my user name & continue to post personal ideas privately Smile
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harriet




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 07 2016, 9:24 pm
Definitely want to know!
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Bitachon101




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 07 2016, 9:31 pm
Yes!!!! So I know to shut my mouth!!!!
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Sun, Feb 07 2016, 9:49 pm
In retrospect, I should not have made a poll. Unless you commented, we have no idea who answered what. If you feel strongly either way, please comment Very Happy
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luppamom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 08 2016, 6:03 pm
Don't feel strongly, but yes I would want to know. Try not to post anything too personal, but it's good to have headsup especially if family members are on here Very Happy
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Chana Miriam S




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 08 2016, 8:23 pm
I am who I am both in real life and on imamother. So, no. I don't care.
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 08 2016, 8:47 pm
Yes. I was once told in the past and appreciated it.

However, I once figured out that someone was on here based on an imamother post.
I have no clue what her screen name is - if I did I would probably tell her.
No I wouldn't tell her because the post was a private issue, I just figured it out because of one detail, and I don't know her screen name.
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howru2day




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 08 2016, 9:03 pm
amother wrote:
In retrospect, I should not have made a poll. Unless you commented, we have no idea who answered what. If you feel strongly either way, please comment Very Happy


Why do you care to know who answered what? Are you waiting for a specific poster to comment in order to know if you can let her know that you know her?
If it's me, go ahead!
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Moonlight




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 08 2016, 9:44 pm
I figured out someone by mistake once... I would actually like to change my screen name. Is there a way to do that?
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Mon, Feb 08 2016, 10:17 pm
howru2day wrote:
Why do you care to know who answered what? Are you waiting for a specific poster to comment in order to know if you can let her know that you know her?
If it's me, go ahead!


Yup, but it's not you Wink
And in case other people are also in the same position
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2016, 8:39 am
basyisr0el wrote:
I figured out someone by mistake once... I would actually like to change my screen name. Is there a way to do that?


Yes, there is. Go to Edit Profile. But that means that all of your posts will have your new name.
And remember, there is the amother feature.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2016, 10:24 am
israelgirl wrote:
would absolutely want to know. Smile


let's take the flip-side to this conversation:

If you think you know someone and want to make assumptions & detail all their presumable relatives that you may or may not know in say several pm's ... first you say I'm so & so, I think I know you irl
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