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Since when does midwinter mean trip? Outing?
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amother
Plum


 

Post Thu, Feb 11 2016, 10:24 pm
Just venting.

Our lifestyle is enough expensive at it is. And busy.

Ugh.

Why do our girls need to keep going all the time?
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tweety1




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 1:54 am
who says they do? my kids didn't go anywhere. we actually did. we took a major trip together to the grocery. we stayed in and had a very nice time together.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 1:56 am
Huh?
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 2:01 am
How old are these girls? Are they old enough to plan and fund their own activities?
I think midwinter = trip since moms started to realize that their kids drive each other crazy being cooped up at home with the weather cold outside for days on end. But it doesn't need to be expensive or overwhelmingly exciting.
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pond user




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 6:43 am
Stop being a sheep. Literally. Just because all the 'cool' kids go it does not mean that yours have to go as well. Teach your children that every family is different and enjoy different activities. You do not need to have a budget for trips or camps outside of school.

But make sure your vacation time is quality time the way you want it. You like open spaces? Take your kids to forests, country walks, fruit picking and farms. You like cozy indoor times? Bake together, don't be afraid to make a mess, let your kids slide down the stairs in their sleeping bags, build dens and drink hot chocolate. They will love you for it!
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 9:18 am
It is hard to explain to explain a lot of this to girls who have off of school. If they go back and a large number of girls did something and they didn't - it is hard. But many times you can find inexpensive or even free activities that can be fun.

At least here the pressure is on a much lesser level (especially because a lot of boy's schools did away with mid winter vacation). But I was just talking to a high school girl from NY and she said they had 8 days off, and only 4 girls didn't fly somewhere for the week in her class. That is a huge amount of financial pressure on the parents.

(With the freezing temperatures fruit picking is kind of not practical and a lot of outdoor activities are just not fun when the temps are hovering around 20 degrees and a low wind chill. A lot of the activities are great for younger elementary, but once a kid hits 6th\7th grade they 'need' to come back and share something they did)
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amother
Plum


 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 11:17 am
Thank you Sky

You expressed what I was feeling
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 11:22 am
you have to do what is good for you and your family ... beginning & end
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 11:32 am
My brother couldnt afford going anywhere with the kids this year, so they came to me for a weekend (I live in Monsey)...it was the weekend of the snowstorm...they came prepared with winter gear and they bought a sled for $10.00...they had the time of their life and for them it was quality time spent with both parents, cousins and fun all in one!!! If your children see that you yourself dont bow to peer pressure, they have an easier time with their own peer pressure. That is my personal experience
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gold21




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 11:35 am
Bizzydizzymommy wrote:
My brother couldnt afford going anywhere with the kids this year, so they came to me for a weekend (I live in Monsey)...it was the weekend of the snowstorm...they came prepared with winter gear and they bought a sled for $10.00...they had the time of their life and for them it was quality time spent with both parents, cousins and fun all in one!!! If your children see that you yourself dont bow to peer pressure, they have an easier time with their own peer pressure. That is my personal experience


Sounds very similar to what we did.

Expense aside, why would anyone want to fly to florida over midwinter break with young kids? I cant understand it. Such a hassle when you have babies/toddlers/are in advanced pregnancy/ etc.... So much easier to wait til the family is a little older. But tons of people fly to florida with a whole bunch of little kids in tow!
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 12:05 pm
My daughter struggles with this after each break - succos and pesach as well. Her school doesn't even do a full week for midwinter, jusst thursday- monday, then school agsin on tuesday. She gets upset when they get back and the teacher asks what everyone did. What about families like ours, where both parents work at non school jobs and the answer is a big fat nothing?

Op, I know it seems like everyone goes away. But its not so. However, I understand and appreciate the feeling of pressure snd disappointment. But the truth is - who has the money? Not us!
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Bsimcha




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 12:41 pm
I think more girls don't do things like fly to Florida or skiing, but if you have one or two girls who went and talk about it and come back tanned etc, the other girls feel like they didn't get to do anything fun.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 12:44 pm
sky wrote:
It is hard to explain to explain a lot of this to girls who have off of school. If they go back and a large number of girls did something and they didn't - it is hard. But many times you can find inexpensive or even free activities that can be fun.

At least here the pressure is on a much lesser level (especially because a lot of boy's schools did away with mid winter vacation). But I was just talking to a high school girl from NY and she said they had 8 days off, and only 4 girls didn't fly somewhere for the week in her class. That is a huge amount of financial pressure on the parents.

(With the freezing temperatures fruit picking is kind of not practical and a lot of outdoor activities are just not fun when the temps are hovering around 20 degrees and a low wind chill. A lot of the activities are great for younger elementary, but once a kid hits 6th\7th grade they 'need' to come back and share something they did)

Whoa. That's crazy. When did that happen? I went to HS in NY only... well maybe not such a short time ago. But when we had midwinter vacation it was about a week and I remember spending some of it sleeping in and being lazy, and other days doing things like going to fao schwartz with friends and taking goofy pictures, playing in the snow if it snowed, maybe for a splurge spending an afternoon at a pottery painting place. Things like that. Any of the popular chol hamoed attractions that are indoors. If anyone took a farther vacation it was something like taking a bus an hour or two north for snow tubing or maybe even skiing if you were really fancy.
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lfab




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 12:54 pm
Just because they SAY everyone went away doesn't actually mean everyone really did go. Yes it is hard for them when it feels like many other girls are doing more exciting things but that's life. I think it's important to raise them to appreciate what they DO have and not be always looking to see what they might be missing out on. It will only make it that much harder for them as they get older and the things they become envious of that much bigger (ie. other people's fancier houses, nicer cars, more expensive clothes, etc.). Right now my kids are little but I know that this is something we are going to have to face at some point. I sincerely hope I can explain it to them in a way that they can accept.
Besides I work in a public school so I don't even have off the same time as my children. That makes any sort of longer trip out of the question (but also makes it easier to explain, a child will probably be more accepting to "mommy has work and can't take off" vs. "we can't afford to spend that much money"). This year I took off one day to spend some time with them and we did a short day trip that cost less than $30. As they get older I'll have to be a bit more creative thinking of things that are inexpensive but fun. Right now I'm enjoying the fact that they don't really know any better!
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 12:58 pm
watergirl wrote:
My daughter struggles with this after each break - succos and pesach as well. Her school doesn't even do a full week for midwinter, jusst thursday- monday, then school agsin on tuesday. She gets upset when they get back and the teacher asks what everyone did. What about families like ours, where both parents work at non school jobs and the answer is a big fat nothing?

Op, I know it seems like everyone goes away. But its not so. However, I understand and appreciate the feeling of pressure snd disappointment. But the truth is - who has the money? Not us!

Just by the way, teachers have been asking "what did you do over vacation" since time immemorial. It's not their fault the answer changed from "made a scrapbook for my baby sister" and "played balderdash with my cousins" to florida or bermuda.
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 12:59 pm
watergirl wrote:
My daughter struggles with this after each break - succos and pesach as well. Her school doesn't even do a full week for midwinter, jusst thursday- monday, then school agsin on tuesday. She gets upset when they get back and the teacher asks what everyone did. What about families like ours, where both parents work at non school jobs and the answer is a big fat nothing?

Op, I know it seems like everyone goes away. But its not so. However, I understand and appreciate the feeling of pressure snd disappointment. But the truth is - who has the money? Not us!


this, Why do teachers feel the need to go around the room and ask each child what they did? Whats the purpose? To make the girls that went away feel superior and the ones that didnt inferior? I felt bad for my daughter when she told me the teacher asked the kids this.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 1:02 pm
lfab wrote:
Just because they SAY everyone went away doesn't actually mean everyone really did go.

My oldest is only 5 and I've already learned that it only takes one person to bring up the issue of haves and have-nots. Which just goes to show that it is way more important to figure out how to teach being un-envious and happy with what you have rather than try to fit in. Exactly one person in her class took a real family vacation this winter, and I have no problem "farginning" one family their vacation - I imagine most families want to do something nice together once in a while if they can. But one girl was enough to just raise the question "Can we go to florida too?" followed very shortly by "Why not?" and you need to be ready with the answers.
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 1:07 pm
I am taking my kids somewhere. I found a cheap hotel an hour away from home and we found a bunch of very cheap activities to do.

The whole thing is going to cost $300 for 3 days for 4 people. That is about what I would pay to have someone watch my kids for 3 days so I can go to work.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 2:10 pm
Yup, get this from my kids too. "Everyone" goes away. I wasn't having any of it but then my 6th grade daughter told me that out of the 28 girls in her class only 10 were in school the day before mid winter vacation (which is Friday to Tuesday). The majority of the class had already left on their trips shock . A few more were leaving after school.
What in the world? ! It was NOT like this when I was growing up. Then, maybe 5 or 6 girls went away, now, that's the amount of girls who AREN'T!

None of this is changing our plans. We're planning to go ice skating at the mall on Sunday and either bowling or pottery painting on Monday. That's it. And it's more than I did at their age. I had to babysit for my younger sibs so my parents could work. Wink

Eta: stupid autocorrect changes
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 12 2016, 2:15 pm
amother wrote:
I am taking my kids somewhere. I found a cheap hotel an hour away from home and we found a bunch of very cheap activities to do.

The whole thing is going to cost $300 for 3 days for 4 people. That is about what I would pay to have someone watch my kids for 3 days so I can go to work.

I would love to hear how you pulled that off. Sounds perfect.
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