SAHM - can you really work too??

amother

Coral

Thu, Feb 11 2016, 11:34 pm

I'm a SAHM. My DS is 2yr old, very active and if he naps during the day, it's often short. When he goes to bed for the night I'm tired. I need to make money/get a job to earn a little money. I'm a career executive assistant but taking time off to raise DS.

I have been trying to think of something I can do but how would I do anything with him all day??? It hard just to take a shower. He doesn't play by himself for a long time - he wants me to interact with him most of the time.

I'm wondering what you working SAHMs are doing for work and how you do it while watching dc??

TwinsMommy

Thu, Feb 11 2016, 11:46 pm

I've been a WAHM for 9 years and before that a WAHW (work at home wife going through infertility treatments WANTING to be a WAHM) Smile

When my twins (now 9) were infants I worked when they napped and they napped all the friggin time. At the age you're talking about, about 2, I had a babysitter at home about 12 hours a week. Because yes--- at that age there's no hope! I could take breaks from phone calls or clients or whatever and come say hi and play quickly--- and in one instance the babysitter just didn't want to handle one twin painting the other with diaper contents so I gave the emergency double bath--- lol. I didn't need a babysitter as much as a work outside the home mom. Worked out well except for finding a RELIABLE babysitter for so few hours----- people working only 12 hours a week have other jobs and school and such and I had a lot of no shows. Also at that age I napped while they napped and stayed up late at night working. They're in school all day now but I still have a body rhythm where I twice a week or so enjoy a mid-day nap and work in the evening. I haven't worked FULL time hours in years though--- it's much easier to work part time with this setup.

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Feb 11 2016, 11:52 pm

I work at home with a 2-year-old. (Not my only child b"H.) It's definitely tough and the only reason it works is because my schedule is so flexible and because she takes a good nap most days. I don't work set hours so I work during naptime and at night (like I'm supposed to be doing now Rolling Eyes

).
Because I work for myself, the workload is not consistent - right now I'm stretched very thin (lots of work b"H!) so working very late most nights and on the weekends when DH can take the kids for a couple of hours. DH also working late hours so it's harder on me. It does require a lot of discipline and good time-management skills. There is never any downtime.
Plus YouTube when there's a really important client call that doesn't coordinate with naptime Very Happy

or when naptime doesn't happen but the work needs to.

amother

Coral

Fri, Feb 12 2016, 12:07 am

This is OP. Thank you all for sharing - so it's really not that easy, it sounds. Ok, just glad to know it wasn't me making it up in my mind.

If you don't mind, can you please share what type of work it is that you do? I need some good ideas LOL

. Thank u!

tigerwife

Fri, Feb 12 2016, 12:14 am

It's almost impossible for me to work when DC is around- besides for the fact that even if she behaved, I don't want her to think of me as always behind a screen. When were together, I want to bond and play, not act annoyed and shush her while a take a call. So I actually send her out to a babysitter for several hours a day, even though I always planned on working from home so that I can be home with my kids! The arrangement benefits both of us because she is so social and loves her babysitter friends, and I can accomplish more work (yes, I still feel a bit guilty even though it is the right thing to do). I also work at night after she goes to sleep. I'm a freelance graphic designer.

amother

Coral

Fri, Feb 12 2016, 12:26 am

OP here.

Yes I have looked into putting DS in a playgroup but the ones I found are quite costly so I'd mostly be working to pay for that. I'd have to crunch the number and see if it makes financial sense. Yes, I do know there is also the developmental/social benefits for DS to go to playgroup as well.

tigerwife

Fri, Feb 12 2016, 12:41 am

TwinsMommy wrote:

How come only 4 of us in this thread aren't anon? Is working at home something about which we should be ashamed? Just curious.

Not at all, rather now everyone will be able to figure out our identities 🙈.

amother

Coral

Fri, Feb 12 2016, 12:43 am

This is OP. In response to the question in the post above - I'm anon because I feel uncomfortable talking about my current financial situation. We are having serious financial problems (the reason I need to find a job) and at this point it's confidential so I wanted to be anon incase that came up in my posts.

amother

Jade

Fri, Feb 12 2016, 1:04 am

I've found the easiest age to work at home is 6 -18 months. Newborns (although also very doable) don't have a set schedule and I found that hard.6-18 have a schedule and nap a good few hours. I always send out somewhere between 2 and 3 depending on the personality and when I have the next one. I strongly feel that once a kid starts getting the feeling the computer is more important than them, its time to either stop working or to send them out alittle.

When I do have a two year old at home I have some special toys and crafts that they are only allowed to have while I work (I figure putting money into buying toys is cheaper than a babysitter). I do let up to 30-45 mints of screen time. Sometimes leaving some toys in their crib keeps them in their crib playing for a little after they wake up (I would sometimes sneak in a toy after they feel asleep for when they woke up). Another thing is that this sounds like your first - with my first I let her stay up till I started working (around 8-9 o'clock ) that way if I went to bed late, I got to stay in bed late (no kids to get out to school yet) because she didn't wake up so early. When it got even harder, dh babysat her at night and she only went to sleep like 11-12 so I was able to work a little in the mornings.

amother

Coral

Fri, Feb 12 2016, 1:11 am

Yes, this is my first child and I'm not as structured with his schedule as I intended to be. He still cosleeps and nurses a little thru the night which is why I'm so tired! If I were more structured with him and slept they the night, work might look more doable. But now, I'm so tired when he goes down at night - I just shut off.

amother

Jade

Fri, Feb 12 2016, 1:45 am

My first was around a year when I started working. She was totally not in a schedule before I started working, once I did, slowly over two -three weeks she fell into one . Working made me pay more attention to her naps - because that when I was able to work, and made me a lot more consistent.
Would training him through the night be something you'd consider? or you rather not? I love co sleeping and usually do it for 6-12 months. till at a certain point I just feel too exhausted and like I cant do it anymore and move them to another room (don't know if you have that option). I still keep going to them when they cry and ect (wich is very hard bec I dont want to leave my bed Smile

) ... but somehow when I do that, their feedings keep lessening till they are sleeping through the night.

amother

Coral

Fri, Feb 12 2016, 2:02 am

Yes, I'd like to sleeptrain and stop nursing in the very near future. I'm tired of being tired and nursing is really starting to irritate me - I just don't like the feeling of it any more. But not sure exactly how to do it. And yes, DS has his own room with a crib that's never been use except it's starting to become a storage spot for all his toys Confused

... But I guess this is a topic for a different thread Rolling Eyes

amother

Wheat

Fri, Feb 12 2016, 2:42 am

I work as a secretary from home. It's only a few hours a week so it doesn't generate a lot of income but it feels good to contribute a little. After dd was born, I crunched some numbers and realized it wasn't worth it to get a babysitter. My husband was thrilled because he always wanted me to stay home anyways.
If you feel your son needs more social interaction, maybe you could babysit or have a small playgroup?

queenert

Fri, Feb 12 2016, 8:28 am

Interesting point...working gets them on a schedule because you start paying very close attention to their cues.
I also find that if I have work, I can just push off my tiredness because I have a set goal. When I'm just mothering it's harder to feel energized if I got no sleep because it's more emotional work. You don't need to smile and be happy for a computer. Smile

And I also find that naps are longer and bedtime is sooner if we go out a lot when I'm not working.
And when all else fails there's always when dh is home.

sky

Fri, Feb 12 2016, 8:54 am

I wouldn't be able to work as many hours with a 2 year old home as I do.

My 4 year old is home with me now about 2 hours while I work and plays very nicely (plus its after playgroup so she was just busy for 4 1/2 hours). I think it is a much easier age then a 2 year old.

(Personally I found newborn - 10 months the easiest to work - but it is hard to have phone calls)