For the converts: how did you get your Jewish name?

greenfire

Tue, Aug 21 2007, 12:25 pm

amother wrote:

Quote:

I am a convert from the age of 16 and I see no shame in talking about it. Neither am I ashamed of my Christian past. I have never been the recipient of any prejudice of any kind as a result of people knowing this fact. I do not understand why people are ashamed to talk about it or have it known.

You are very very fortunate. Many of us, myself included, have been the recipients of very hurtful statements. This even went so far as to have a couple of classmates torment my young son by telling him he's a [gentile] because "my Tatty said your Mommy's not really Jewish - she's just a ger [sic]" (in spite of the fact that I'm yeshivish and have been frum for over a decade with a geirus from a very well respected beis din).

So no, I don't discuss my geirus with anyone other than close friends, and even there I'm not terribly open about it. Personally I'd like to forget that my prior life ever existed. And I can't STAND it when people ask me why I converted - I can't even imagine a more private, personal question. They might as well be asking about my husband's and my intimate life - it is just as rude IMHO.

that is about other people and their narrow-mindedness NOT YOU!!!

amother

Tue, Aug 21 2007, 3:45 pm

Quote:

I do not understand why people are ashamed to talk about it or have it known.

I don't talk about it because the Rabbi who did my conversion was banned by the Rabbinut for doing too many conversions and his conversions were pusiled (they suspected a financial motive... I can't comment)...if he did have such a motive for doing so many conversions, I had no idea) and I converted with a hareidi black hat beis din. My kids and I had to do a giur l'chumra with B'datz Yirushalaim b'h...

Basically, conversions are really sticky business these days, and the Rabbinut in Israel is really clamping down. It pays to be discreet, or to walk around with the conversion certificate laminated and made into alittle card you can present with your other ID (I'm not joking...really thinking of doing this.) so people know its from a good beis din.

And even as the other amother mentioned, the best conversion cannot prevent such hurtful comments.

amother

Tue, Aug 21 2007, 4:58 pm

amother wrote:

Quote:

I'm really sorry people have put your and your family thru that. I do believe the halacha is that one is not allowed to remind someone of their past (ger or bt alike) because it can be hurtful, nevermind the extreme example of disgustingness (ok, so its not really a word) you mentioned. But the flipside is, as avigayils wrote these personal stories are great chizzuk to people who are ffb for one reason or another, yet that doesn't leave anyone remotely obligated to share their personal life story in any way.

anon

Tue, Aug 21 2007, 5:33 pm

amother wrote:

Wow, that is absolutely disgusting. I cant believe how mean and IGNORANT some of these parents are. If a conversion is 100% legitimate for G-d, then it should certainly be legitimate enough for us mortals. Where were these people when their Morah's/Rebbeim taught that geirim are special to G-d and must be treated with extra sensitivity?! Sheesh!

amother

Tue, Aug 21 2007, 9:06 pm

My father is a ger. I also grew up being taunted but always saw it as a fault of the kids doing the taunting. We always took my dad's gairus as a fact of life, with Jewish and non-Jewish grandparents, cousins, all kinds of holidays and life-cycle celebrations. I believe it has helped make my siblings and me more tolerant people.

As for his name, he took a first name with the root of rachamim because, as he has told me, he wanted rachmanus from Hashem for all the years he wasn't a practicing Jew. And his middle name he chose from a relative on my mother's side who had never been named for.

For the record, I don't think my father has ever hidden his conversion. My maiden name is a huge give-away Wink

He is currently quite religious, living in EY.

amother

Tue, Aug 21 2007, 9:18 pm

Yeah, and then people try to rationalize their way out of it... like I heard one person say "that only applies to a ger toshav" (don't think that's true) or "that doesn't apply to most converts nowadays because most converts are insincere" (in that case, how could anyone sit an judgement and decide whether or not someone was sincere at the time or not... ? The Beis Din is supposed to try to determine this)

I have caught people claiming to "test me" by being unkind (a madricha did this to me Crying

) and she used the excuse that she was mean because "she just wanted to see if I was sincere."

I said "Tests come from hashem, and you aren't Hashem."

chavamom

Tue, Aug 21 2007, 11:16 pm

amother wrote:

) and she used the excuse that she was mean because "she just wanted to see if I was sincere."

mumoo

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 1:34 am

That people prefer not to mention their pre-geirus past is completely their prerogative- even though taunts are totally 'the other person's problem.'

The fact is that people make judgments about another's past- and not always favorable ones.

Baalei teshuva also are reluctant after a time to reveal their pasts.

amother

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 3:41 am

My MIL's english name is Jeanette Rose.
When she coverted to Judaism, she took the name Shoshana. Hebrew equivalent of Rose.
When she was having problems in marriage with her ultradominant husband with the name Yehuda, Rabbanim suggested she add the name "Yehudit" to her name to balance the power out.
So now my MIL's name is Shoshana Yehudit...
(And her maiden name is Williams- also a dead giveaway to her geirus...)

Ruchel

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 1:33 pm

mumoo wrote:

amother wrote:

I was then told that I should be nice to a woman on my block because she is a geyores -

misguided chesed, imo

yup

Quote:

I don't go by last names anymore... I know Jewish Simpsons Marlowes, Joneses and Jacksons, and I don't think the names are from converts...

True
Non common Jewish names can be mistaken for non jewish but aren’t

Quote:

with so much intermarriage a Jewish last name is no guarantee somebody's Jewish and a non-Jewish last name could belong to somebody who is Jewish.

True too

amother

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 2:11 pm

I'm one too, and I gotta say my DH is a bracha straight from Hashem! had my fair share of garbage from people - like the person who asked me if it was okay to say shelo asani [gentile] since I had been one. shock

after I picked my jaw off the floor, I tried nicely explaining to her that a convert was never considered a [gentile]. it says clearly " a convert who converted." why? because they, we, had a different status. the spark was always there!

oh well. I'm anon in case any of you have already figured out who I am Wink

Ruchel

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 2:26 pm

Quote:

like the person who asked me if it was okay to say shelo asani [gentile] since I had been one.

I know people who were told to say it but not fully. Others told not to say it! But I doubt they are the majority, it sounds harsh.

Quote:

a convert was never considered a [gentile].

You mean all converts in fact were long lost Jews (like because of the Inquisition)? or they had a Jewish soul from start and not from conversion?

chavamom

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 2:30 pm

My dh always jokes that if a guy came to yeshiva and his name was Jacob McFarlane - he's a Jew. Jon Levine - that's your [gentile]. Unfortunately this often turned out to be true. At one point when he was working in the hanhalla of a BT yeshiva they had 2 boys who were close relatives of 2 gedolim with the same last names (everyone would recognize the last names immediately). Both were non-Jews (though they did ultimately convert).