Cultural Survey- do you smile

amother

White

Sun, Feb 28 2016, 10:09 am

Hi,
OP from the crying babies thread here. FranticFrummie pointed out that smiling is likely a cultural thing. So, a few questions:

1: where do you live? In town? OOT? another country?
2: will you initiate a smile if you see a woman that you don't know on the street?
3: will you reciprocate with a smile if a woman smiles at you?

I'll start:
1: OOT
2: yes
3: yes

Please keep this to women for now, thanks!

water_bear88

Sun, Feb 28 2016, 10:21 am

amother wrote:

1: where do you live? In town? OOT? another country?

amother wrote:

2: will you initiate a smile if you see a woman that you don't know on the street?

amother wrote:

3: will you reciprocate with a smile if a woman smiles at you?

1. In Israel (in a mostly dati area)
2. Nope, though I probably will in shul or in the waiting area at the doctor's office. I'd add there's about a 50% chance I'll wish her a good Shabbos, though (depends how close we're passing and whether she's in conversation with a companion).
3. Probably, though I'll then be trying to figure out if I know her from somewhere. Would absolutely respond to a Shabbat Shalom.

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Feb 28 2016, 10:23 am

amother wrote:

1: where do you live? In town? OOT? another country?
2: will you initiate a smile if you see a woman that you don't know on the street?
3: will you reciprocate with a smile if a woman smiles at you?

1. I live in NY. Grew up in LA.
2. If I make eye contact.
3. Yes

Notsobusy

Sun, Feb 28 2016, 11:03 am

I live in Lakewood, grew up out-of-town-ish.

I won't smile to everyone I meet in the street, but in other types of circumstances I will always smile or make small talk.

I always say Good Shabbos to anyone I meet in the street, unless if it's a man who looks like he wouldn't appreciate it.

Tablepoetry

Sun, Feb 28 2016, 11:42 am

A city in Israel.
No smiling to strangers on the street, and they generally do not smile at me either.
No shabbat shalom either to people I don't know, not because I am antisocial, just because it's not really done in my area. I'm sure other areas are different, especially moshavim etc.

amother

Mint

Sun, Feb 28 2016, 11:53 am

1 Baltimore
2 yes
3 yes

this is only since moving here several years ago. I used to live in a european country and there people didnt smile at each other much unless they knew each other.
now when I go back there to visit family, I always smile and greet people who I dont know, they always look at me as if I am crazy Smile

lol

amother

Saddlebrown

Sun, Feb 28 2016, 12:12 pm

I grew up in NY (not a very frum community) I now live in Israel.
I always smile at people and many times get a "huh" kinda look back.

Ruchel

Sun, Feb 28 2016, 12:12 pm

I'll start:
1: in town in another country
2: not at all in a normal case but if she's frum or a young mom like me and we're together at the merry go round or something...
3: depends if she looks normal/like there is a link like frumkeit or the only my age around or SOMETHING.. but if she looks normal and clearly smiles to me, probably?

Maya

Sun, Feb 28 2016, 12:14 pm

1. Monsey

2. Depends where I am. If I'm walking on the street in NYC, for example, it's practically impossible - and frankly, stupid - to smile at every person I pass. But if I'm walking in Monsey and may meet one person every few minutes, I will smile if that person makes eye contact.

3. Yes, certainly.

amother

Rose

Sun, Feb 28 2016, 12:44 pm

This is definitely cultural.

1. Grew up in Lkwd, live OOT for 10+ years

2. Yes

3. Yes

Recently returned to Lkwd and was shopping in a frum store with teenaged DD who has only lived OOT.
Caught the eye of a fellow frum female shopper and smiled. Got a blank stare back. DD was freaking out at the rudeness. Had to explain to her that the woman wasn't being rude. It's just not necessarily something that's common practise there.

Anon cuz I've told this story too many times

gp2.0

Sun, Feb 28 2016, 4:05 pm

Brooklyn
Wouldn't smile at person on street*
Would definitely return smile

*on Shabbos I often will initiate smiles though
*in a waiting room I'd not only smile, I'd possibly strike up a conversation as well. Spoke to two very sweet elderly ladies at the eye doctor last month. We had a nice chat about how technology has changed in the last 50 years.

chocolatecake

Sun, Feb 28 2016, 5:05 pm

Brooklyn but grew up oot. Yes I initiate smiles to ppl in street that I know and of course I return them

tigerwife

Sun, Feb 28 2016, 5:31 pm

Currently in Lakewood and while I can't honestly say I offer a smile to everyone I see (I'll smile at the people I share a waiting room with but probably not the other commuters on the subway), I certainly will return a smile.

And IME if you have a baby with you, way more people will smile at you first.

In general: hevai mekabel kol haadom bseivar panim yofos.

Twice I remember being told off by a stranger for having a not smiling enough outside: once on the way to a funeral for a very young woman, and once when I went to the grocery for the first time after my stillborn. Those people couldn't have known, but no one asked them to judge.