So disturbed by accountant

amother

Green

Thu, Mar 03 2016, 5:08 am

I went to a new accountant today and am so disturbed by the appointment that I can't sleep. It's 5 AM!
Tried some one new. Left my kids with DH and said I'd be back in 10 min. I had 4 papers to give him.
The accountant first has a little dog jumping everywhere (didn't really bother me) with doggie to us everywhere. First he tells me he needs 5 min. No problem. Then he tells me he needs to strip linen in guest room . Ok I panicked and stayed close to the door . Then we sat down to do business but he kept digressing to tell me all about his life, his neighbors, his dates, how he met his wife etc. I tried to be polite and move it along but ended up being 45 min !
Looking back I should have ran for my life. I am so disturbed. And he has my address. And ssn. Aaaaaaaaah! I do not trust this guy!

chani8

Thu, Mar 03 2016, 6:30 am

You were right when you panicked. It was time to leave.

Ask yourself, why do you feel the need to be polite, even in the face of danger?

It might come from being taught to be a good girl, to listen to those in authority, to follow rules, and to mind your manners. All 'set ups' for victimization.)

Thank G-d, though, you were not victimized. You are ok. You are safe. B"H.

Terminate any business with him, though. He is definitely off.

To prevent those kinds of things from happening again, it takes some contemplation about how you would want to ideally handle yourself. A healing exercise is to close your eyes and imagine how would've liked to handle what just happened.

And another exercise is to create a 'plan for the future' of how you would act the next time you are in a situation where your gut tell you to run but you are afraid to trust yourself. The core issue is whether you are willing to choose safety even if you feel embarrassed about it.

amother

Green

Thu, Mar 03 2016, 6:57 am

You are right. Now that you say that, I realize it is not the first time I stayed in an unsafe situation to be polite. I am generally a panicky person and overreact, like if there is a creak in the house , I may take kids and leave house until a neighbor can confirm I imagined the noises. So I guess I don't always trust myself. Thank Gd nothing terrible ever happened to me BA'H.

gp2.0

Thu, Mar 03 2016, 7:03 am

Sounds like a bit of a weirdo, but not such a terrible alarming situation. You're overreacting, as you say you tend to do.

You gotta work on your no-nonsense tone and attitude. After about ten minutes of mr. Accountant rambling on and on and on you say, "ok thanks very much, you have my paperwork and I have to go. Call me with any questions. Bye." AND YOU LEAVE.

I've had similar situations a few times. Some people just really like to hear themselves talk. Or they're lonely. Or socially inept. It's not always a creepy zexual thing.

imasinger

Thu, Mar 03 2016, 7:39 am

Ugh.

Good advice already here.

Did he know what time you were coming? Because the guest room business is more understandable if you dropped in unplanned, or without an exact time.

Hugs.

Weirdness happens.

amother

Green

Thu, Mar 03 2016, 8:21 am

Yeah I had a set appointment and was there on time. He said his wife had asked him to do it earlier and he hadn't had a chance so he would do it quickly

PAMOM

Thu, Mar 03 2016, 9:03 am

Do you waited in his office while he went upstairs to change the sheets? It may have been inconvenient (and you could have told him so), but if he didn't charge you for the time you waited, what are you worried about? He sounds like a yenta--doesn't mean he's not good at his job.

MiracleMama

Thu, Mar 03 2016, 9:50 am

My concern would be my bill. Hopefully he is charging you a flat rate, not an hourly rate where he's doing other things while working on your taxes. Aside from that, personally I don't love the idea of going to any professional working out of a basement office. When you do that you're usually in for distractions of home life. His chatting, also annoying. That said, I don't understand why or how you felt endangered with his wife and kids right upstairs. But if you're uncomfortable just send DH or bring a kid along next time (if there will be a next time).

amother

Green

Thu, Mar 03 2016, 9:52 am

Op here. To clarify : his office was in the basement, the guest room was in the basement right next to office. He shmoozing while changing linen, I was in hall between office and guest room.
I didn't feel physically threatened really (at one point I panicked a bit but took out my phone and texted my DH in case) but was so weirded out - how unprofessional can you get? I go to accountants cuz I know about taxes and my DH is clueless.
Game plan: let him finish taxes this year, make DH pick them up. Switch accountants next yr. Avoid his block

amother

Green

Thu, Mar 03 2016, 9:55 am

MiracleMama wrote:

My concern would be my bill. Hopefully he is charging you a flat rate, not an hourly rate where he's doing other things while working on your taxes.

:-) every time I looked at my watch he commented don't worry I don't charge for schmoozing time. He gave me a flat rate

Amarante

Thu, Mar 03 2016, 10:32 am

I think there are a few things going on in the OP.

I don't think the woman was in danger but I don't want my professionals to waste my time so I wouldn't want to schmooze with my accountant for 45 minutes. I have a love hate relationship with the woman I have been seeing for many years LOL. She smokes like a chimney and I never had the nerve to ask her to stop. I solved it by not going in to see her. I mail my documentation and we discuss what is necessary on the phone.

I do think many woman put themselves in danger though because they are polite. I remember years ago there was a television program on this subject and that many women are too polite and ignore a sensation that tells them they are in danger. I'm not a paranoid person but better to be safe than dead. I know some serial killers use fake casts and crutches (for example) and ask women to help them.

HonesttoGod

Thu, Mar 03 2016, 11:14 am

He is an accountant. Working in his basement.

Someone comes he is dying to chat because all he does is talk to his computer screen all day. Doesn't sound dangerous or weird or scary at all. Maybe socially awkward.

tigerwife

Thu, Mar 03 2016, 11:17 am

Totally agree with the 'polite' point.

I'm usually very polite and reserved. I was once almost assaulted by a home worker (he actually touched me) and I was extremely polite to him while I repeatedly told him 'no' and 'please leave'.

Afterwards, I was like, "Holy cow!! Why did I not kick him where it hurts!!" I was so disturbed by my own reaction.

It's funny, because I think everyone would love to think they would automatically do some cool self defense move but in reality you have no idea how your body will react in shock.

grace413

Thu, Mar 03 2016, 11:30 am

If he has time to chat for 45 minutes and change linen in front of a client at the height of tax season I have doubts as to his abilities as an accountant.

amother

Apricot

Thu, Mar 03 2016, 2:03 pm

HonesttoGod wrote:

That was my thought too. Working alone can be lonely.