 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
|
amother
Gray
|
 Tue, Mar 08 2016, 3:41 pm
So it seems my son who is 8, has a hard time behaving during davening, and sometimes speaks to his nearby friends. Yesterday, his rebbi decided this deemed the punishment of losing his recess, and losing the only time to play ball outside, while in school. That made me mad!!! He is only 8 and davening for 30 minutes out loud can be boring. How is taking away his recess going to help him sit still and behave the rest of the day????
I feel like these teachers just don't get it.
Any input and opinions are appreciated. (no attacks please)
| |
|
| Back to top |
 2
 1
|
Miri7
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 3:46 pm
|
This is a common punishment. But it's misguided and most well informed educators today believe this is an inappropriate and ineffective consequence.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
6
|
anotherima
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 3:48 pm
|
His entire recess? Ten minutes less would be more appropriate.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
Faigy86
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 3:52 pm
|
Taking away recess all together isn't appropriate. This is obviously a child who needs more time to run around and talk to his friends. Let him be a kid.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
9
|
shoshanim999
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 3:52 pm
|
Chazal say we should teach/train children according to each child's way. Do you think your son will be less likely to talk tomorrow or the next day because he will remember the consequence of today? If the answer is yes then it would seem the rebbe's punishment was appropriate. Maybe the rebbe knows that this punishment will resonate with your son and will likely keep him in line going forward.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
Gold
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 4:09 pm
|
Is it normal? Yes. Is it incredibly stupid? Absolutely! It makes zero sense to punish a failure to focus by taking away the time the kid has to burn off energy. And yet schools continue to do this and then wonder why the kids can't sit still and focus all day.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
11
|
|
amother
Gray
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 4:15 pm
|
To the one who asked if my son will remember the consequence and behave the next day: nope. he remembered it when it was time to review mishna which he is usually so excited about. Last night he said I can't do mishna its too hard. Normally he would be begging me to teach him the next perek too. All these punishments (which are different than consequences) do, is give the child a negative taste of yeshiva. As a matter of fact I took the liberty of explaining my point of view to the principal in an email this morning. I haven't heard back yet...
| |
|
| Back to top |
2
2
|
imasinger
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 4:23 pm
In the future, you might do better to address your comments directly to the rebbe, not to the principal.
Sorry your DS was treated like that. My 3rd grader can cry for days about one stupid missed recess.
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
5
|
Faigy86
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 4:25 pm
| imasinger wrote: | | My 3rd grader can cry for days about one stupid missed recess. |
I can kvetch for days about one stupid missed lunch break. Its hard not having 'off' time or 'me' time.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
11
|
|
amother
Chocolate
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 4:25 pm
Its illegal to take away a child's entire recess. Some is ok. All is illegal. My son had this as a punnishment so often that I finally had enough and literally called the chancellor of the state in Albany. It was actually pretty simple to get a hold of him. He agreed with me that its wrong and confirmed that yes, its illegal. But since it was a private school they wont get even a phone call. However he did say that he was going to call the chancellor of the district and inform him.
I called the school once Inwas armed with this info and from then on, my children never lost recess again.
Anon bcause Ive told this story so many times.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
6
|
|
amother
Gray
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 4:36 pm
|
I felt alittle bad about not speaking to the rebbi but I already know his beliefs. Ive spoken to him many times. Very old fashioned..doesn't believe in rewards..
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
0
|
|
amother
Gray
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 4:39 pm
Amother chocolate youre in NY? I suppose so because you said Albany. What area? How did the school respond to that? Has things improved for your children?
Also this school gave my son detention the other day. He had to stay from 4:15 till 5:00 instead of going home on bus. I thought it was so bizarre to give a 3rd grader detention..
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
0
|
abaker
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 4:39 pm
Normal yes. A good effective strategy? I think not.
I do suggest speaking with the Rebbe.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
|
amother
Seagreen
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 4:43 pm
I can understand your frustration, and seeing your child in pain is painful. Do you think any consequence was called for? What consequence do you think would've been appropriate? If this was too much for your son to handle, I would politely bring it up directly with the Rebbe.
But illegal?! Reporting a yeshiva? Overreaction, much?
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
3
|
|
amother
Chocolate
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 4:47 pm
| amother wrote: | Amother chocolate youre in NY? I suppose so because you said Albany. What area? How did the school respond to that? Has things improved for your children?
Also this school gave my son detention the other day. He had to stay from 4:15 till 5:00 instead of going home on bus. I thought it was so bizarre to give a 3rd grader detention.. |
Yes, in Queens. The school was caught off guard. I'm a teacher also, but not currently teaching. I know the rules and regulations. The school often does not know or does not care. But now that I've called them on the fact that they have unfair practices, my son has not lost recess. I even said to the principal - my son had such ants in his pants that he was wrestling another boy in the hallway. The classrooms are so small that they can literally hold another boys hand, and both touch a wall of the room. So you have this boy who so badly needs to move around and you punish him by taking away the time when he can appropriately move? A few minutes, fine. The whole period? How will that help the rest of his day? The principal has nothing to say to that.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
5
|
|
amother
Chocolate
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 4:52 pm
| amother wrote: | I can understand your frustration, and seeing your child in pain is painful. Do you think any consequence was called for? What consequence do you think would've been appropriate? If this was too much for your son to handle, I would politely bring it up directly with the Rebbe.
But illegal?! Reporting a yeshiva? Overreaction, much? |
There have been a number of other issues with the school. I didnt report them. I asked if it was illegal so I was armed with info when I went back to the principal. Over reaction? No way. The way we allow our schools to get away with everything is sickining. They get worse and worse, and the punishments are often so old fashioned and I am sick of it.
Depriving a child of free time is illegal. Full stop. when my kids school breaks the law and doesnt care, after I've spoken to them, you bet its time to take action. Not that it mattered, like I said, since its a private school, they can do whatever they want. But now they know hat parents know. And now the rebbes have to resort to using their brains and more appropriate consequences. Taking away recess is lazy. Look at my child. He needs to move. The rebbe basically insured that his own afternoon would be even worse because now my son has even more bottled up energy.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
9
|
MrsDash
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 4:56 pm
I think that punishment is extremely counterproductive. The kid is already feeling antsy and in need to move his body. No one will benefit from taking away the one chance that he is permitted to bounce around. There are so many other ways to punish a kid, and this is definitely not one of them. 
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
Seagreen
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 5:12 pm
My question was whether the op agreed that her son should've had any consequence at all, or if she just found this particular consequence to be problematic and counterproductive. Either way, I agree with imasinger, the issue should be brought directly to the Rebbe--politely.
Regarding going to the authorities to report a yeshiva over a child's lost recess-- it strikes me as completely absurd. If this is just one of a myriad of offenses that you believe are being perpetrated by the school, why on earth would you continue to send your child to this institution? And now that you have made it known to them that you have reported them, how do you think this will affect your child's relationship with the yeshiva? Other than a short term gain here, I don't understand how you think that you have done yourself and your child any favors here in the long run. An adversarial relationship with those who care for your precious child serves who?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
tigerwife
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 5:44 pm
Did you speak to your son about talking during davening as well? What do you think would be an effective way to get him to behave during davening?
Maybe if you called the rebbe with an alternative suggestion you can work together to help your son. Keep in mind that your son probably wouldn't enjoy any consequence he gets.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
superresponsibleme
|
Tue, Mar 08 2016, 6:18 pm
|
Better to give those who behave extra recess.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
