How often do you go to your parents for shabbos?

happy12

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 11:23 am

Every shabbos.
But just to say hello in the afternoon for shabos party she makes for grandchildren.
Havent eaten a meal there in a long time. The will occasionally eat by us.

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 11:36 am

OP, what other people do isn't important.

I'm sure you and your parents can figure out a way to see each other more often while meeting the needs of your children as well as your father.

How about Shabbat once every two months, and a Sunday outing during the other months? Or whatever works for your family.

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 11:59 am

Op here. To answer some questions, yes I know the poll was limiting, I was just trying to come up with different types of answers. My first poll I guess I wasn't successful 😕

For those who commented that every family needs to find what works for them. That is obvious, but when we can't find a middle ground , I wanted an idea of what others ate doing .

For those people who keep asking about during the week, I specifically asked for shabbos because that is the point of contention right now . I see her at least once a week. (Although she doesn't like that she usually comes to me, but let's be honest it's much easier for her to come to me then the other way around). Even seeing her once a week she wants us to come so often for shabbos, and she doesn't understand why I'm not rushing to come every shabbos

amother

Jade

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 12:22 pm

We live about 2.5 blocks away from each other and get together for a Shabbos meal at either house once every 3 weeks. It's a bit more often than I would choose for it to be, and probably less than my mother would want, but it's a middle ground that works. But it only works because we live so close to each other and not many steps and it's just one meal. If we would be getting together for the whole Shabbos it would be less often.

amother

Apricot

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 12:52 pm

As families Bh grow, it gets difficult to pack everyone up for Shabbos. When we had one kid, we were going once a month or so, but after the second, it just got too hard. Now we go for one yontif, and the very occasional Shabbos (always with a reason, like attending a simcha) . We live close enough that they can see us plenty during any non holy day, it's just the times that require staying over are too much these days.

amother

Vermilion

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 2:05 pm

We live near my parents and we eat a meal by them
Almost every Shabbos.
They're older and all the kids are married and live far so I feel obligated to come to them often. It's also nice - it's an outing for the kids . Sometimes dh gets very tired of this arrangement and then he goes to an earlier minyan , we eat early at home and then I take the kids to my parents and he sleeps or learns at home

Had I lived further away from my parents I wouldn't go often- it's hard to get kids off their sleep schedule ( they're all little ) and spend the entire Shabbos by them instead of having quality time dh.

amother

Mint

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 6:03 pm

walking distance, we go for a shabbos meal every few weeks.
I dont see them during the week ever (everyone's just too busy)

my inlaws are an hours drive away, we go once every 2-3 months

amother

Emerald

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 6:06 pm

My parents and inlaws live about an hour by plane and a few hours drive (5-10). We visit them 2 or 3 times a year, maybe more if someone is making a simcha. My husband is going to see his parents for one day next week (he has some business in their city) and in a couple of weeks we have a wedding in the city my parents live in so we will see them then. (bringing kids with) My parents also come to see to us for simchos or occasionally for yom tov or whatever. My inlaws can't travel for health reasons so we go to them a bit more often.

If my parents lived close by I would love to go to them.

Ruchel

Mon, Mar 14 2016, 8:01 am

No because we are not in walking distance and even if we were I bh have babies. Maybe grandparents need to petition along women for eruvin...

MrsDash

Mon, Mar 14 2016, 9:33 am

When we lived in town, only a 5 minute walk, we would go almost every shabbos. Now that we live a 12 hour drive away, we tend to go a lot less often. If I had the money to get plane tickets, I imagine we would come more frequently.

ShoshanaGee

Mon, Mar 14 2016, 9:40 am

It really depends how long you've been married / amount of kids... We started out going very often but eventually it gets less & less...

amother

Seashell

Mon, Mar 14 2016, 9:52 am

When we got married qe went every 3rd week about to in laws and parents. Alternating between them and home. When kids were born we went to in laws less often parents more often. We lived a 20 minute walk. Now I moved and am an hour walk but no wriv. I wish there was so can go more on shabbos buy see parents all the time. I work with my mother so see her daily. See my siblings probably about 2 or 3 times a week. O lakes live an hour away and we go not often. I used to go on Sundays but got so hectic lately. They refuse to come to me Sad

without begging but they don't have normal accommodations so it's really really hard to go. It bothers me that my kids only know one set of grandparents really really well.

amother

Chartreuse

Mon, Mar 14 2016, 11:47 am

MRG wrote:

It really depends how long you've been married / amount of kids... We started out going very often but eventually it gets less & less...

Op again. I think this has something to do with it. We got married and moved away right away (think 12 hour car ride ) seven years and a few kids later I think she's trying to get her chance to have us over all the time, but we're a little past that.
We also juse moved and are trying to meet people and make friends. It would be very hard to do that if we are constantly away for shabbos

HonesttoGod

Mon, Mar 14 2016, 12:10 pm

My parents - once a year or once every 2 years for YT (pesach or sukkos, we try to alternate).
My in laws, not often. We try to go over at least once every 2 weeks with the kids, sometimes it is every week. FOr shabbs meals it is about once every 2-4 months. eta: they live 4 blocks away but we all work FULL time and I hate going over there, for many reasons we have to keep a perfect balance of visiting/distance.

shacn

Mon, Mar 14 2016, 1:21 pm

part of the poll should be the age -
im in my shana rishona so we go once a month... my siblings did the same...now that they have kids they come every few months...

FranticFrummie

Mon, Mar 14 2016, 1:44 pm

There is no option for people who's parents are niftar, or estranged, or who live in another country. This poll also leaves out BT's and gerrim.

My mom passed away a few years ago. My dad is Xian, and he remarried a lovely woman. They live in the US, and I live in Israel. DH's parents passed away many years ago, before I met him.