How many mm are you making this year?

Scrabble123

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 12:23 pm

I usually give out around 50-100+ (totally not me, but I give out a lot professionally and for whoever drops one at my door). This year I'm "in the year" after the passing of my father, and while I was told that I'm allowed to give out mm (not receive), I still decided to keep the amount smaller (because I prefer it that way anyways, and due to the many different minhagim people have so I'd rather just not explain my personal psak). I haven't even completed (or started) the mm yet, but I'm guessing I'll just buy a few (around 5) pre packaged ones.

Last edited by Scrabble123 on Tue, Mar 22 2016, 12:23 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Emerald

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 12:23 pm

50 adults (8 siblings, in laws, lots of neighbors, adult 'kids'my DH mentors, friends, cousins...)
100 kids (5 per child to give, plus we started giving nieces and nephews when newly married and years later it has ka'h ballooned out control, plus others I started giving years ago and still give)
16 - teachers, therapists, rav, bosses, etc.

I do try to reciprocate to every person who gives us even if I didn't plan on giving them. I find it helps spread 'good will' and make people feel good and build friendships which is part of the reason for m'm.

When people ask why I count pennies when making my m'm its because we give so many. We can b'h afford it but when dealing with such large quantities I don't feel like I should just spend.

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 1:30 pm

and another 20 for the kids. Plus corporate ones that we sent separately. My DH is in a profession where he knows A LOT of people, and we've lived in a couple of different neighborhoods, so the list gets longer every year. Those deliveries will be fun...

amother

Rose

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 1:48 pm

40+ for the kids I teach. 50 for friends and neighbors. They are over the top like DH likes. 20 for each one of my children. I haven't started baking yet!

Just shoot me now.

abaker

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 1:48 pm

I am making 10 for some neighbors plus 2 special more expensive ones for certain close friends, 1 for our family Doctor, and my son is putting together about 6 for his little friends. Also making a special one for my husband as a surprise.

Approx 19 or 20? These include a few extra for someone unexpected or someone we are at megilla that maybe didn't get any.

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 1:53 pm

We enjoy delivering at least ten, but get worn out and cranky around #20 (driving, with some distance in between).

MM are unknown in our workplaces and not expected for teachers (we contribute to the school MM), so it is easier for us than it seems to be for some other imamothers.

gp2.0

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 2:03 pm

Wait what? People give MM because they expect one in return? Or people give as an open gesture of goodwill and friendship? See I always thought it was the latter one but apparently not...if people are expecting one in return, that goes a long way toward explaining why people feel pressure to make fancy elaborate ones.

causemommysaid

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 2:04 pm

50 cuz that's how many bags came in the package. Also my cookie batch makes 50 cookies and that is convenient.

Not sure I have 50 people to give to....oh well extra cookies can't hurt.

joy613

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 3:27 pm

gp2.0 wrote:

I don't see the connection between expecting a MM in return and making fancy MM.

I'll admit I would feel a little bad if I brought MM to someone and they didn't have one for me. (Doesn't really happen bec we basically just give neighbors and teachers so not like anyone is surprised to see us at their door. Just theoretically if it would happen I would feel bad. Like if I think you're my friend why don't you think I am yours?)

But I still don't care at all how anyones MM looks and I don't care to impress anyone with mine.

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 3:41 pm

I think it is not so much that people expect anything so much as they would feel awkward to receive and not reciprocate. I try to have a few extra for "just in case."

It can mushroom if you receive face-to-face from many people not on your list. Then there is a feeling of social obligation (we know this is not a halachic obligation) to give to more people.

WastingTime

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 3:58 pm

Is this like a "how many friends do you have poll "
No, I'm not looking for hugs (as if that's going to stop whoever thinks I'm a nebach!)
Just seems like a funny thing to post on an open forum. So many ppl that are either isolated or lonely out there...

mommy3b2c

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 4:03 pm

amother wrote:

40+ for the kids I teach. 50 for friends and neighbors. They are over the top like DH likes. 20 for each one of my children. I haven't started baking yet!

Just shoot me now.

Each of your kids gives out 20???!!

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 4:19 pm

WastingTime wrote:

That's not how I interpreted the question at all.

Some people choose to give only a one or a few MM, others maybe a few more, and yet other families choose or feel obligated to give to everyone in their shul/school/neighborhood. Even someone with few friends who is a member of a shul or who has a child in school will have to make these decisions.

I'm not sure what the OP had in mind, but to me, it isn't about how many friends you have but about how people balance the social pressure vs. personal preferences (and some people enjoy giving lots of MM), and learning more about other Jewish families and communities.

pause

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 5:44 pm

I made 15 (need 12 but like to have extra).

For rebbes and teachers, I give a bottle of sparkling and wine with an envelope of money so that's not part of the cheshbon.

I make three nicer ones, not the same as the rest, which I also did not include in my amount: one for my mother, one for my MIL, and one for my baby's babysitter (who gets a gift in her MM).

I also made kids MM separately.

mille

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 6:22 pm

I totally have ambitions to throw together like 5 tomorrow just for very local friends (aka those in the buildings adjacent to us), but I DID just have a baby 2 weeks ago, so my ambitions may be too high!

mommy3b2c

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 6:38 pm

mille wrote:

Mazel tov! What did you have?

cnc

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 6:52 pm

mille wrote:

Mazel tov! !!

amother

Rose

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 7:37 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

Each of your kids gives out 20???!!

Yup! They walk to the local people while I am finishing up, and then we are a day in the car.

I liked the snowstorm last year, so we could get out of delivering so many.

mille

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 8:21 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

Mazel tov! What did you have?

A girl! She's the greatest thing ever! But the lack of sleep makes mishloach manot seem like a huge undertaking Wink

(I mean, everything feels like a huge undertaking postpartum. lol)