Hibernating on the couch before the introvert nightmare

amother

Rose

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 2:17 pm

I don't know if you know this but purim is the introvert nightmare. So many people and colors and all that blasting music. My stomach flips just thinking about it.
So I'm on the couch for the past two days literally saving up quiet time in preparation for the days ahead with the kids home from school and all that extroverted stuff about to happen.
Who's with me?

sourstix

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 2:23 pm

its good for me to hear the introverts feelings. dh is an introvert so I would love to understand it more. wow, cant belieive how uncomfortable it is for you guys.

thanks for sharing.

chouli

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 2:29 pm

You should find a way to make Purim more enjoyable for you. Maybe try to find a later, quieter megilla reading. Don't go around distributing MM. People will come by so that you will have a chance to exchange your MM. Or even better, send your DH out with the kids. You can invite another family over for the seude, with whom you feel comfortable...
Just some ideas here......

amother

Azure

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 2:33 pm

I'm with you op

I have to put on a front, I inside can't wait for it to be over with.

I really appreciate all the 'you should really try to make purim more .....' from everyone but I don't think the GET IT!

I want it to all go away and leave me alone!!!

amother

Amber

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 2:38 pm

You sound like my dh. I always thought theres something wrong. now I see its an introvert

So what is it? you dont like people? I would love to understand better

amother

Rose

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 2:41 pm

None of it will work for many reasons chiefly dh is an extrovert lol.
So I'm taking in lots of air now and hoping it'll keep me sane while holding my breath until Monday.

amother

Babyblue

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 2:47 pm

Part introvert here. I like delivering to people I care about and know. I don't mind crossing over to the other side of town (not Brooklyn but can take some time) to deliver. Hate the hullabaloo outside. Hate huge Purim parties, loud music and craziness. Makes me want to run away after 30 seconds. Been to Brooklyn on Purim before and if I ever have to live there- I am running to Kalamazoo to get away on Purim!

Maybe I manage because I don't do crazy amounts... DH is an introvert too. Deliver to the minimal list (not just the actual minimal Halacha... But the most I can do). Go to a small Seuda. No shul parties (too late at night for our age group anyways). And we each go to reading we need to for our sanity! I do a later "mommy's leining" that is quiet and DH does the one he likes.

amother

Babyblue

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 2:51 pm

amother wrote:

You sound like my dh. I always thought theres something wrong. now I see its an introvert

So what is it? you dont like people? I would love to understand better

Oh I like people. I just don't do well with huge crowds, lots of noise and craziness....
I have my group of friends to deliver MM to. But I don't have hundreds. Maybe 25? But there are no teachers on that list (kids not old enough and also no friends that aren't mommy's friends). I would have done a drop more but due to other reasons it just won't work this year...

amother

Sienna

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 3:56 pm

Yes me too. I don't like the endless noise outside. I don't like the loud music. I don't like having to meet tons of people.
So what we do ( dh an introvert too) is go away for Purim ! We to to friends who live in a non Jewish area. Their kids and ours are friends so they enjoy the meal together. We have a nice quiet meal and that's it!
( dh reads me the megila).

amother

Smokey

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 4:48 pm

I don't know if I'm actually an introvert because I have social anxiety (which may just be the unhealthy side of my personality, or it may be a separate anxiety that is preventing me from living the life I'd rather lead) but I totally get this!

I find that if I can find productive things to keep myself occupied with at home, I deal better so I'll save some MM prep for during the day so I have something to do. I'll save seuda prep so I can hide in the kitchen. And I spend lots of time sorting and re-sorting the MM we receive Smile

debbie321

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 5:16 pm

Gosh I thought I was the only one..I am so not looking forward! Parshas zachor in shul with so many woman was a little tough,especially since barely knew anyone! Purim has been stressibg me out. What I do is when we deliver I send my husband out of car and I sit in car. That way we give stuff out but I dont have to give it. Im sure he thinks im anti social but I tried explaining to him that im more introverted,dont like the crowds and noises...he doesnt really get it.
This year I also compromised in way that has me looking forward(for once) purim night we r having a few couples over(friends that we like both husband and wife)for small get together...so is somewhat controlled by me and not as anxiety causing. Dreading family get together.(they make me anxious cuz I dont measure up to siblings'popularity)
For now I am enjoying the quietness. Hugs op,u arent alone. Also,u arent crazy for feeling this way

amother

Lilac

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 5:33 pm

I didn't mind the bustle as a kid but this year we will be going to a purim seudah that's a bunch of families together instead of my HSP (highly sensitive people) non drinking family of origin and yes I've been thinking the same thing that this is a HSP ( who are probably usually introverts) nightmare!

amother

Mauve

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 7:19 pm

Totally with you, OP. I wish there was a special section like the toddler quiet room in our old MO shul where just us introverts could listen to the Megillah reading through a cracked door and we wouldn't ever acknowledge each other's presence beyond a quick nod hello. It would be glorious!! Very Happy

amother

Aquamarine

Tue, Mar 22 2016, 7:33 pm

Love this thread Smile

As an HSP I also just get so overwhelmed by the whole day and all its expectations. I'm already panicking because we dont get a day to recover this year. It's straight into shabbos..