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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim
Purim night and little kids
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Wed, Mar 23 2016, 10:25 pm
Would you think someone is nuts if they take their little kids (all under age 8) to shul for megila and then stay for the shuls purim party? What are your thoughts on kids staying up to hear megila in shul? Do you just put your kids to sleep regular time on purim?
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Moonlight




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 23 2016, 10:27 pm
My kids went to sleep regular time. It's not worth it for them to be overtired tomorrow
But if my shul had a great purim party that would mean a lot to them, I would keep them up
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BetsyTacy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 23 2016, 10:35 pm
If a bunch of kids under 8 are in the actual sanctuary for megillah, I would not be happy.
Wait, that's a rehash of another imamother classic--should kids be inside the sanctuary for
megillah reading. (My vote=no). As far as the party goes--if that will be the sum of their Purim fun, then maybe. If there will be good times tomorrow that will be sour due to overtired crankiness, then no.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 23 2016, 10:39 pm
amother wrote:
Would you think someone is nuts if they take their little kids (all under age 8) to shul for megila and then stay for the shuls purim party? What are your thoughts on kids staying up to hear megila in shul? Do you just put your kids to sleep regular time on purim?

No, I just did that with my kids. And they had supper when they came home because I completely lost track of time before we left and had to rush out the door. (There was a show before the megilla reading that we went to.) My oldest, almost 9, came with us to the show and then my husband picked him up and took him to ship with him. My other two, almost 7 and almost 4, came with me. We got home a little after 9:00. If I put my kids to sleep at regular time, I wouldn't be able to go hear.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 23 2016, 10:40 pm
BetsyTacy wrote:
If a bunch of kids under 8 are in the actual sanctuary for megillah, I would not be happy.
Wait, that's a rehash of another imamother classic--should kids be inside the sanctuary for
megillah reading. (My vote=no). As far as the party goes--if that will be the sum of their Purim fun, then maybe. If there will be good times tomorrow that will be sour due to overtired crankiness, then no.

If they can be quiet and not disturb you or anyone else, so that everyone can be yotzei, then why not?
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little_mage




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 23 2016, 10:58 pm
Like most things of this nature, I think a lot depends on the individual children. My shul has a show and art projects for the kids during the first megillah reading of the night. I took them last year, but this year, with it starting half an hour after bedtime, I didn't bother. However, if my kids go to bed late, they'll be slightly fussy the next day, but not too bad. That means that I don't stress too much if we're out occasionally past bedtime. Other children, who might behave differently when short of sleep would have a different answer.
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precious




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 23 2016, 11:06 pm
I think people are nuts who keep their little kids up for the late summer Friday night seudos. Same thing.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 24 2016, 1:45 am
Wow. In my community everyone brings their kids. Purim is very kid focused in my shul. Honestly can't imagine kids not being there.
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busydev




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 24 2016, 2:01 am
My kids (4 and down) were in bed on time today. My husband and I go to separate leining by night and by day while the other stays home with the kida
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Notsobusy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 24 2016, 2:01 am
eema of 3 wrote:
If they can be quiet and not disturb you or anyone else, so that everyone can be yotzei, then why not?


If you are absolutely positive they won't make noise, then of course there's no problem. Unfortunately in our shul there were a couple of little kids making noise during megillah tonight. The baal koreh has a loud voice, so I could hear every word, but it was disturbing.

And then, for another typical Imamother thread, the shul was packed, standing room only, I couldn't even get in, I was stuck in the hallway. And then my girls told me that there were kids sitting while ladies were standing. What's wrong with people that they don't make their kids stand up for adults?!
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amother
Beige


 

Post Thu, Mar 24 2016, 5:34 am
Unless a first reading explicitly calls itself a quiet reading, I assume kids are welcome. I had my 8-month-old at such a reading last night, knowing I might need to take her out and catch the later reading. I preferred the first one if possible so she would get to bed on time, which would be unlikely were I not home to nurse her. Luckily, she fell asleep in the baby carrier during Perek Bet and only woke up towards the end. FTR, she and another close-in-age baby were a lot quieter than the preteen girls who were giggling after every Haman, and even that noise was soft enough I heard everything.

Anon because of details.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Thu, Mar 24 2016, 9:12 am
My husband and I go to separate megillah readings, while the other one stays home with kids.
My kids (5 and under) were all in bed by 715.

They have no idea about going to megillah yet, we don't have one of those shuls where they make it about the kids and have parties.

I feel like its not worth them being tired, I have no patience to shush them every 10 seconds, and its not fair to the other listeners.
They IyH have the rest of their lives to go to megillah at night.

though, I can see why parents do bring their kids to megillah t night.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Thu, Mar 24 2016, 10:14 am
It's because of parents who bring their kids that I had a huge shaila if I needed to go back to shul for the later one. Never went to that minyan for night megila again. Kids, and adults, who cannot be perfectly silent should stay home. I had it once where an adult walked in (in the middle) and started talking. Exploding anger
I now go to a super late one, inconvenient for me, to know I heard all the words. Yes I am a mommy too. In bed, normal time. When they learn about megila and can stay up, I plan on "leining" at home. I will still go to later one.

Yes, Purim is for kids. But when they are tired, cranky and in a new environment (leining is different than normal shabbos) you set yourself up for craziness and an awful day the next.
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catonmylap




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 24 2016, 10:22 am
dh went with ds 9 to 6:30pm megilla reading by car... I followed by foot with the 2 little ones ds 3 and ds 3 months... we hung around shul downstairs till it was over and then joined them at the Purim party... I dropped the kids off with dh at home at around 8:15pm, and went to a women's reading... It was no issue for a 3 year old who still naps at daycare to stay up till after 8pm... When I came home, I took the 9 year old out to the zombie kingdom at the library at around 10:30pm -- I know it's more nuts, but I knew he could sleep a little later this morning, and he could handle it...

We aren't totally crazy -- but we were never the parents that had kids in bed by 6pm... it was more like 7pm when we had one with an early bedtime... once the oldest gets older, you don't mind as much if the others are up later...
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Thu, Mar 24 2016, 10:33 am
My oldest went last night for the first time. He is almost 5. I knew he was capable of being quiet (I brought along a coloring book and crayons) and he was great. He shook his grogger at the appropriate times and otherwise didn't make a peep. YeahYeah, he went to way past his bed time but just woke up late today. It was a great experience for him. My younger 2 stayed home. My 2 year old is too young to sit quietly or in one place and if he stays up too late, he sleeps maybe an extra 15 minutes and then is cranky the whole day. I also have a nursing newborn, and while I'm not opposed to bringing nursing babies, this baby is colicky, so it wasn't an option, I pumped a bottle for him for while I was out.
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goodmorning




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 24 2016, 2:16 pm
glutenless wrote:
If you are absolutely positive they won't make noise, then of course there's no problem. Unfortunately in our shul there were a couple of little kids making noise during megillah tonight. The baal koreh has a loud voice, so I could hear every word, but it was disturbing.

And then, for another typical Imamother thread, the shul was packed, standing room only, I couldn't even get in, I was stuck in the hallway. And then my girls told me that there were kids sitting while ladies were standing. What's wrong with people that they don't make their kids stand up for adults?!


I was in a standing room only megillah leining today without a seat (and there were kids who did have seats), so you have my full sympathies. But I can see that while adults are capable of keeping quiet even when standing uncomfortably, it's much harder for kids. Mothers probably don't their kids stand up because they don't want their kids to be like the ones in your first paragraph.

(And in general, while pregnant/newly postpartum/elderly women may have a hard time standing, I think in general, it's easier for adults to stand still for 45 minutes than little kids. I'm not entirely sure that I need a seat more than the kids who had theirs.)
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Marion




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 24 2016, 3:25 pm
My 3.5 was conked out within 2 minutes of everyone else leaving for shul...the rest went and were apparently very well behaved.
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Miri7




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 24 2016, 5:59 pm
My older kids who can sit quietly in shul the entire time go to the first reading, while one of us stays home with the younger ones, then goes to the later reading.

There is always a group of moms or dads who have to take their screaming child out of the megilla reading because the noise scares them. So there are hysterical screaming children in the lobby, and the parents with them have to deal with that and then come back to hear a later leining. I just don't see the point in that, so we divide and conquer and it's much less stressful!
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 24 2016, 6:34 pm
It's Purim. Don't be rigid and obsessive.
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Beyla




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 24 2016, 7:06 pm
I can't imagine so much people keep their kids at home for Purim, in all shuls I know it's about kids in costume enjoying the atmosphere.

I bring all my kids including baby and we sleep very very late because we are also making a party and its very ok cause they took a nap and will sleep later tomorrow. They have sweet memories and enjoy yom tov bh.
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