PSA: Please take a moment to say hello to...

ValleyMom

Wed, Mar 23 2016, 9:57 pm

PLEASE take a moment to make someone feel welcome at shul...

YEARS ago I saw a lovely young woman standing alongside the wall at shul as I sat down to Daven. I turned to her and gently pat the seat next to me and told her to come sit. I introduced myself and we sat in silence alongside each other all through devening. I walked her over to the Kiddush after davening and we continued making small talk. I met her new husband and introduced mine...

Months later she told me I was the FIRST woman to approach her at shul. She said she had been coming for months and nobody ever said hello.

Fast forward ten years and I saw her tonight at megilla reading... I told her I would save a seat for her next to me.

We sat next to each other with our kids waiting for megilla reading to start when I noticed two young woman walk by to a different row... I said OH you are welcome to switch seats to sit with your friends-- she said no she would prefer top sit with me. She pointed out that one of those young mommies had called earlier that day to remind her to save a seat next to her at shul- but clearly she found better "company" to sit with during magical reading. They barely waved at her as they walked by.

Ladies.... You never know how you touch someone's heart at shul when you smile and wish them a good shabbos. Take the time to promote Ahavas Yisroel- every smile makes a difference and leaves an impact on our world.

I don't know if you can relate to this little moment in time. I know when I was a newly wed I WISH someone had taken a few moments to make me feel welcome at shul.

Please share your small moments at shul that have impacted your life...

ValleyMom

Fri, Mar 25 2016, 3:37 pm

Years ago, when my husband lost his job and we were strapped for cash I came to the realization that the best way to get out of a pity party and on with living life is by getting OUT of yourself and extending yourself to others- I really open my eyes and look around to see what HOW I can impact the world- it's NOT about $$$$ it;s about reaching out to people and reminding them that they MATTER!!!

greenfire

Fri, Mar 25 2016, 3:47 pm

ValleyMom wrote:

I love that about you & I want you to know that even though I usually notice these things too - it was your voice pushing me in the back of my mind

well yesterday I noticed a bunch of women yenting in pairs & 2 people left out & I was one of them - so I quietly walked over to the other woman & said I guess it's you & me left with a grin

wouldn't you know it there was a quiet yet very friendly girl whose husband & her had a lot in common with my kids and so now I got to introduce my couple [in a new town] to this young couple

& we both felt better about no longer sitting and being quiet by ourselves Very Happy

ValleyMom

Fri, Mar 25 2016, 3:55 pm

THAT is an AWESOME moment to share!!!!

You JUST made my day complete.

Seriously, I find it fascinating that we are all orthodox but celebrate our religiosity in different ways.

I LOVE THAT ALL US WOMEN ARE ALL DIFFERENT-- and yet we are all so similar.

We live in different communities and send our kids to very different schools...
Bla Bla Bla

But when it boils down to it we all deal with husbands, we all have to deal with teens, We all deal with gynecologists, we all have to deal with LIFE.

littleprincess

Sat, Mar 26 2016, 4:35 pm

Reminds me of one time we spent a shabbes in a hotel and I saw a lady sitting quietly in the lobby with her baby. I sat down next to her and we started talking. After a few minutes we found out that we share an uncle (her mother's sister is married to my father's brother) and we've been friends ever since.

littleprincess

Sat, Mar 26 2016, 4:37 pm

Another incident that happened to me. After living out of my home town for about 8 years I moved back and got a job in a store.
A lady I didn't know came over to me and gave me a warm welcome and told me how nice this town is. She was the 'stranger' a few years back. .
I told her that I grew up here but I really appreciates her nice welcome. She used to come in very often to chat to me.
A nice hello, a warm welcome... it warms up someone's heart and it costs nothing.

ValleyMom

Sat, Mar 26 2016, 9:32 pm

I was at Lord and taylor last winter from OOT and I had planned to spend a few hours shopping. After two hours I stopped t their restaurant for a break and a cup of coffee. I looked around and noticed a mature woman, sitting all alone, with a cup of coffee. So I approached and asked her if she wanted company and she flat out said NO. So, I shrugged and sat a few tables away... Five minutes later another mature woman bought a cup of coffee and was looking for a place to sit and I said: "Are you alone, come join me so we will be alone together!" She laughed and sat down and we proceeded to have such a blast talking about shopping, NYC, Broadway, museums, kids... After 15 minutes the other woman asked if she could join us and I said "I thought you needed alone time???" Then I laughed and motioned for her to join us. We all three had a terrific time just making small talk and resting our feet and we all acknowledged how nice it was to just sit and meet new people and have absolutely no agenda. The firs woman said she admired my "boldness" and I just laughed! I don't consider myself 'bold'. Adventurous, friendly, and generally chatty. She told me that was the first time she had sat at a restaurant with people in TWO YEARS! I told her she needs to try to put herself out there and let herself be a little vulnerable so she can see what the world has in store for her. I love my life! I have a awesome life that's very BIG! I am more than happy to spread the joy- everyone should work on being happy with their lives.

debbie321

Sun, Mar 27 2016, 6:42 am

Op on behalf of someone who has a tough time in a new neighborhood, thanx!
When I moved to a new neighborhood,I went to shul every consecutive shabbos and didnt get a single hello except from an older woman who wished me good shabbos! I got so depressed from being the newly married and no one said a word! The. 7 months later shul was packed I was hugely pregnant and needed to sit and no one made eye contact cuz wanted their kids to sit. The second a little kid got up I took their seat...then never went back to that shul again. My husband slowly faded from that shul. We went to a new shul where people were slightly friendlier.
I made sure because of that that when my sisters and I went to our parents shul we said hi to all new people
Fast forward a few years later and I moved to a different section,made it to shul and....came home sad. I said hi yo people I knew but the regulars wouldnt say a word. I make it my business to sat hi to new faces but wanna say thank u for makinh a difference