Trouble with muktzeh on Shabbos!

Laughter123

Sat, Mar 26 2016, 9:09 pm

They cannot keep themselves busy unless it's with a muktzeh item and I'm having such a challenging time with it! They do so well with their playdough/ crayons/ ipads! I feel terrible but especially on longer Shabbosos like these I find myself getting overwhelmed having to entertain them and deal with home and spend time with DH etc etc (I have 3 over 10 and they are obviously ok but then ages 7 mo, 2,4,5!) even with a houskeeper helping out! I feel horrible but I find myself at times closing my eyes when they grab some crayons to doodle or a piece of playdough to keep quiet with and even if they find an ipad and watch quietly in the corner! how terrible is that!! Otherwise, while they can keep busy a bit with playing in the basement or out in the backyard, eventually they may start bickering/ whining/ making a mess... Anyone else have the same issue??

FranticFrummie

Sat, Mar 26 2016, 9:15 pm

You need Shabbos toys, that they can't have during the week. Lego, dolls, building blocks, whatever is age appropriate.

When the little ones get fussy, can you get an older one to sit down and read them a few favorite books? (promise the older ones rewards if they can help out)

Do you not have an eruv, or don't hold by it? Otherwise, do you have a park nearby?

What about other moms with little kids? Can you get together after lunch for tea, and let the kids play with each other?

momof2+?

Sat, Mar 26 2016, 11:12 pm

Agree that "shabbos toys" are needed.
In my opinion, you don't have to worry about the 2 youngest using the muktzeh toys. (unless this will make it harder for the next older two.)
I find that if I put away the muktzeh toys before Shabbos my kids won't miss them unless they see them and want to play with them. Try to keep the "shabbos toys" in view so they keep busy with that. We do a lot of building (lego, magnatiles etc...) and have collected a bunch of "mentchies" and do a lot of pretend/imaginative play. Think along the lines of building a palace/hospital with lots of rooms for all the mentchies with a parking lot for cars/airplanes...whatever we can come up with. Can keep my 3 yr old entertained for hours.

the world's best mom

Sun, Mar 27 2016, 12:24 am

I may get tomatoes thrown at me for this one, but maybe they should spend less time using the ipad during the week and more time playing with other things so that they can learn how. (Although obviously, I don't know how much they do use it during the week, but it sounds to me like they are used to playing on it a lot.)

Shabbos toys are helpful. Also, it's okay to look away sometimes, depending on the ages of the kids. For a 3 year old I would tell him once that it's Muktzah and then look away. For a 5 year old it's already more problematic. Also, I would be stricter about electronics than I would be with crayons, because electronics take away the whole atmosphere and serenity of Shabbos.

Also, they will probably enjoy if you sit on the floor and play with them. Read them books, build with blocks, play with dolls- whatever will entertain them. Time spent playing with them is extremely beneficial for all of you, in so many ways. Unfortunately, as technology takes over the world, this is becoming more and more obsolete.

m in Israel

Sun, Mar 27 2016, 3:51 am

As others have said, for the two youngest it may not be terrible to look away but the 4 and 5 year old are really already old enough to understand. And I agree with worlds best mom that electronics like an ipad would disturb me a lot more than a 3 year old scribbling with a crayon for a few minutes, even though melacha wise the crayon may be worse Wink

But I think the important thing here is to be proactive -- put the muktzeh stuff away before
Shabbos and get exciting games and toys that are ONLY for use on Shabbos. And if you have 3 kids over 10, enlist their help (maybe with offers of a special motzai Shabbos activity for the older kids if they help play with the younger ones on Shabbos.) You can also enlist your husband to do some of the playing/interacting with the kids. As a few previous posters said, this is your one day chance to really interact with the kids -- maybe if you reframe it that way in your mind it will help.

And bickering/whining/making a mess is a normal part of interaction when dealing with toddlers -- maybe it will help to keep that in perspective, too.