Bringing your child into the bathroom

seeker

Sat, Mar 26 2016, 11:44 pm

At home - maybe 1 or so. I save showers until someone else is home or they are soundly asleep. Using the bathroom I'd set them up with a toy right outside the door and hope they stay there for enough seconds.
Public restroom - Old. So far my oldest is 5 and I still would not leave her alone there. But around the time they're old enough that you don't want them to look at you on the toilet, they're also old enough to listen when you tell them to stand facing the opposite wall.

amother

White

Sun, Mar 27 2016, 10:49 am

Home maybe one two. Put that's only of their is a safety issue leaving them outside the bathroom and I can't wait for anyone to come home.
Never for a shower.
Public restroom It depends where we are but if I don't feel save l still have my six/seven year old with me they turn around and can be trusted.

amother

Blue

Sun, Mar 27 2016, 11:08 am

Not so comfortable with my 2.5 year old being in the bathroom with me, but I let to prevent a tantrum - and because unless he's very busy I know he'll get into trouble if I leave him by himself. I just try keep myself pretty covered. Shower only if there no one home (although I usually try to avoid taking one then) even then I try to have him busy with a toy so he doesn't come in - I don't feel comfortable locking the door when no one else is home bec he still gets into a lot of trouble and I have to listen out for him.

In a public restroom I let him in if it's like a complete door. If its the type that has open space and the bottom and top and I can see him if I peek through, I usually have him wait right outside and keep talking with him the whole time so I know he is fine.

amother

Ecru

Sun, Mar 27 2016, 11:13 am

I let my 1.5 year old come with me. I feel like it's making her interested in the toilet and will hopefully help with toilet training. She's my first so can't say how old I'd do it until. Probably at least until she is fully toilet trained. In public I'm not sure. I'd probably make her stand facing away for a good while. Don't know exact age yet.

amother

Red

Sun, Mar 27 2016, 11:19 am

At home, I would say my child was a toddler when I stopped allowing in the bathroom with me.

As for public restrooms, my child is 7 and I still make him go into the ladies restroom with me. He can wait outside the stall while I use it, if he doesn't have to go himself. If there's a family restroom with only the one room, I just have him turn around while I use toilet quickly. Plus honestly, since I'm wearing a skirt, he really can't see anything.

Unfortunately in this day and age, I don't feel safe leaving him unsupervised to use the men's restroom yet or wait outside the restroom by himself. Too many weird people out there and I guess I'm even more paranoid now since it's so easy to sneak & take videos on the cell phone.

Goldie613

Sun, Mar 27 2016, 12:34 pm

At home - barely. I felt like it was the only time I got a moment to myself! Re showering - I didn't take one if no one else was home until the kids were maybe three or four, and then I'd leave the door unlocked. When they were younger, I actually did baths if I was desperate to get cleaned up. The infant seat could go next to the tub with the baby in it, and I could hear if a toddler in the next room was fussing, since there was no water running down to block the sound.

Re in public - if they were too little to know not to wander off, they came in with me. The exact age for that really depended on the kid, though I would try to get them to turn around as they got a bit bigger. Babies who couldn't cry out or speak yet always came in for safety's sake. If there was a handicapped/accessible bathroom I took the stroller in with me. If not, the little one had to sit in my lap or in a carry thing (whatever those baby carry pouch things were called back then). As they got older, I had them stand right outside the door with their sneakers poking under the door of the stall I was in, with us talking for most of the time.

I don't think I stopped doing this until they were seven or eight, but it really depended where we were. A pizza store where all the families are keeping an eye out on each other might have made me less cautious, while a crowded shopping center would have made me more cautious.

amother

Brown

Sun, Mar 27 2016, 4:00 pm

So funny! I wonder how much of it depends on the gender of the child. I have a three year old girl who still comes into the bathroom with me. I started talking about privacy and she started to stand outside the bathroom while I'm using it but will still occasionally come in. Not sure why but it really doesn't bother me(and I'm a very private person!) it bothers me more when I'm making "#2" (sorry
Tmi!) but when it's just a quick pee I dunno I'm ok with it... Esp in public!

Showers on the other hand I never let her be in the room. Even when she was younger.

amother

Lime

Sun, Mar 27 2016, 6:27 pm

I never shower unless someone else is home or my kids are asleep. I wouldn't trust them in or out of the bathroom while I'm showering.
At home I would leave my one year old outside if she's distracted and it's for a few seconds but if she realizes I'll take her in. My three year old no way!
I'm never out shopping for long enough to need a public restroom by myself. If the trip is that long I'm usually with a friend or relative and would ask them to watch my kids for me.

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Mar 27 2016, 11:14 pm

Wow, I can't believe I'm the unusual one in this. My daughter is 2.5 and comes in the bathroom and the shower with me and my husband all the time. I wanted to make the bathroom and the things that go on there as normal and non-threatening as possible for her. We may limit her exposure to my husband's bathroom rituals sooner than mine, but I read once that they should stop coming in when they start to value their own privacy. Right now, DD would take off her clothes in the middle of the street without any compunctions, so that sounds OK to me! Smile

FranticFrummie

Mon, Mar 28 2016, 12:03 am

amother wrote:

I'm with you on this. DD started asking that daddy not be with her at bathtime when she was around 3. She's 12 now, and will still change clothes in front of me and is not the least bit self conscious about it. She does close the bathroom door now. That took a lot of prompting! (maybe we're a bit too casual, LOL) I will change in front of her very quickly, one item of clothing at a time with no parts really showing for more than a second. We certainly don't parade around naked, but we don't make a fuss about it, either.

I hope that by normalizing our bodies, she won't grow up with self image problems. Many girls in her class are already "going on diets, because they are so fat." Sad

amother

Beige

Mon, Mar 28 2016, 12:22 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

This is how I was raised and thank Gd it worked out very well for my sister and me ( I think we have way less body image issues then most women I know) I also had no issues with undressing in front of my husband and at the Mikveh because it was not so new to me.

amother

Chartreuse

Mon, Mar 28 2016, 8:25 pm

BTW, when I said I wanted bathroom rituals to be normal and comfortable for my daughter, I didn't mean in terms of intimacy or even body image. I was really thinking about making potty training easier... I guess normalized body image comes in as a close second Very Happy

onlyone

Mon, Mar 28 2016, 10:31 pm

I feel like my response is different than most of the others. For public bathrooms, my kids come in with me till about age 5. Im not worried about them looking at me especially since Im wearing a skirt, As for showers, till about age 3 and a half. I occasionally bathe with my 2 and a half year old daughter. MY other children are girls as well.