I couldnt believe when my child's teacher told me this :(

amother

Azure

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 8:47 am

We went to parent teacher meeting a few days ago. Everything was pretty much how we thought. But then my daughter's teacher threw a bombshell at us and I am still sad a few days later.
It seems that my daughter has been putting her hand in her pants for the last while, in the class room. I could not believe it. I mean, she does that at home, usually in private.
So we met with the school counselor and we are dealing with it. Thats not really the point of my post.
Im just so shocked that my daughter was doing this, in her class room. I mean, she knows that this is something that she can only do in private. It just made me sad and not really sure what made my daughter do this. She is in 2nd grade.
This is just a post for chizzuk. Not a post asking what to do, we are already doing what needs to be done, but I am in complete shock. Sad

amother

Natural

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 8:58 am

in case this makes you feel any better -

when I taught second grade, there was a kid in the class who did this in class...

so you're not alone!!

Goldie613

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 9:40 am

I'm sorry - it's never fun when you get hit by something unexpected.

It may just be she's irritated down there or has an infection of some kind (UTI?) that's making her itch, so she's scratching herself...

I don't know...just guessing...

Have you asked her why this happened in class?

Sigh...hope your next teacher meeting goes better.

amother

Lavender

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 9:59 am

I teach and this is not uncommon in young children. It is not ok that the teacher waited until PTA to tell you this, but don't panic. If this is a new behavior take your daughter to the doctor to be checked for an infection, but otherwise she needs to be taught that this isn't appropriate behavior for a public setting.

amother

Azure

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 11:15 am

amother wrote:

As I wrote in my OP, this is not an overall new thing. She does this at home, mostly in private. So I know that there is no infection. Sad

amother

Azure

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 11:16 am

amother wrote:

The teacher should not have waited until PTA.

I guess that is true, but I dont really know how long this has been going on. I know it has not been the whole year as the first parent teacher meeting in the beginning of the year the teacher didnt mention anything.

amother

Azure

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 11:17 am

Goldie613 wrote:

That was the last parent teacher meeting for the year :/
are you asking me if I asked my daughter why this happened? The school counselor told me not to do that. It will make my daughter feel awful. And I agree. We came up with a plan of action.

Also, as I just wrote, this is not an infection. This is something that she has been doing for a while, just not in school.

amother

Azure

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 11:18 am

amother wrote:

in case this makes you feel any better -

when I taught second grade, there was a kid in the class who did this in class...

so you're not alone!!

It does make me feel better. Thank you.
Can I ask what you did about the situation?

FranticFrummie

Wed, Apr 06 2016, 4:39 am

amother wrote:

It might be a sensory thing for her. I know a kid who does this and he needed a sensory diet.

I was about to say the same thing. At this age, it's not zexual, it's a self soothing thing. She may be overwhelmed by all the input around her in class, and this helps her self regulate and focus. An OT could help a lot, to figure out what is distracting her. (noise, bright lights, etc.)

My DD did this in first grade, and she has ADD. I simply talked to her about not doing that in class, and she stopped immediately. She started tapping on her desk instead, or kicking the edge of her chair.

Also, check for pinworms. I was surprised to find out that in even the cleanest homes, in developed countries, 1 out of 10 children have pinworms at some point or another.

amother

Gold

Wed, Apr 06 2016, 5:17 am

amother wrote:

It does make me feel better. Thank you.
Can I ask what you did about the situation?

When I was a teachers assistant in the pre1a there was a girl who would touch herself down there, and get very into it.
Once the teacher realized what she was doing, she would just ask her nicely and gently if she wanted to go to the bathroom.

amother

Natural

Wed, Apr 06 2016, 7:41 am

amother wrote:

It does make me feel better. Thank you.
Can I ask what you did about the situation?

When I started teaching the class, it was already being dealt with by her parents so I was just told how to deal with it when she started in class, (basically not make a big deal of it or make her feel embarrassed in anyway, just ask her gently to go wash her hands,) it eased off and stopped by the end of the year.

greenfire

Wed, Apr 06 2016, 10:30 am

this is the thing ... some children are more apt to explore their own bodies

she should simply be taught not to do this outside of the house & preferably in her own room

you don't need to make this bigger than what it is by embarrassing her & bringing her to therapy - cause if you ask me she will grow to feel insecure within her own body & her own zexuality & that my dear is not a healthy stance

chill it down - a lot !!!

amother

Azure

Wed, Apr 06 2016, 2:59 pm

amother wrote:

Dress her in dresses, not skirts.

She has none. And dresses around here that I have found are really only for shabbos.
But I dont think that would help. She would find a way anyway.

amother

Azure

Wed, Apr 06 2016, 3:02 pm

greenfire wrote:

Wait, chill what down a lot? I havent really done anything except tell her that if she wants to do this, I have never told her she is not allowed to, then she should do this is private as it is not tznius to do this out of her room. Thats all I have talked to her about.
But that being said, at home is one thing, and in school is a very different thing. So thats why I would like to get the help of the counselor at her school to get ideas of ways to get my daughter to be able to sit in class without doing this. Thats all.