I Hate Making Phone Calls

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Forum -> Working Women

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amother

Denim

Wed, Apr 06 2016, 3:53 pm

I hate calling people, especially clients. I always email, but sometimes I just have to make that phone call, and I end up pushing it off as long as I can. Which means that there's always a bit of anxiety lurking on the back burner because I didn't call yet.

Do you have this problem too?

What do you do to push yourself to make that call?

Any tips would be greatly appreciated.

amother

Periwinkle

Wed, Apr 06 2016, 4:16 pm

Yes! I get butterflies if I have a phone call I don't want to and it can run my whole day. I end up pushing it off many days. No advice though Sad

Fox

Wed, Apr 06 2016, 4:34 pm

I hate it, too. I find it incredibly unproductive -- in fact, a lot of my time on Imamother is while I'm on hold or waiting for people at the other end of calls.

Actually, I find a lot of people much prefer email; the clients who specifically want me to call them are usually the ones who don't read/write well in English. That's fine, especially if English isn't the client's first language.

What makes me crazy, though, are the native English speakers who insist that I call them and then say things like, "I just think it's so much easier to talk through something on the phone, don't you?" I always want to say, "No, I think you should take a minute to read and understand an email that is sent to you or proofread an email before you send it to make sure it is clear rather than insisting on having your hand held while you think through your problem." But, of course, I usually just cough and let it slide.

bluebird

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 6:39 pm

Me too. I find that writing down what I want to say to start then the things to be discussed as a list helps a lot. I have that to refer to and don't panic thinking what to say as much.

allthingsblue

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 7:09 pm

bluebird wrote:

Me too. I find that writing down what I want to say to start then the things to be discussed as a list helps a lot. I have that to refer to and don't panic thinking what to say as much.

I also dislike making phone calls, and I 100% agree with bluebird's tactic. It really helps relax me when I do this.

Amarante

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 7:44 pm

I dislike phone calls because they are wildly unproductive - time is wasted because you have to schmooze a bit on the phone and then there is the ridiculous business of telephone tag where each party leaves messages on a ping pong basis. Often the only way is to actually make a phone call appointment.

That said, sometimes a phone call is necessary for whatever reason as some matters really need a conversational immediate back and forth to resolve - as opposed to providing information which is best handled in an email. This is also true with non-business at times - I have a friend who has the maddening habit of emailing me to CALL HER - nothing about what is necessary on such an urgent basis and often it is a piece of information that could be sent via email because in my free time I REALLY hate phone calls intruding on time when I want or need to be doing something else.

That said, for WORK phone calls, I find that it is best to schedule for my least productive time as phone calls don't require as much thinking and concentration as much of my work. So I do my real work when I am most alert and then schedule phone calls and other stuff like that for times when I wouldn't be able to work at my peak.

I am generally not nervous but in a work situation I make sure that I have everything necessary in front of me for the conversation and generally also assume what the conversation might entail so I have responses work out so that I am not winging it.

Daniellast

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 7:45 pm

I used to have this issue. Think and prep many times what I'm going to say before I actually do the call. (I believe it comes from shyness). The major breakthrough came when I took on a job which required answering calls. From there I moved on to marketing products for a company. It really helped me tons. Today.... I'm much more open and not afraid to make calls nor confront people. One thing I heard once was to make sure you're clear in mind with what you want to say and people do not bite over the phone.
Practice, practice, practice!!!! Good luck!!!

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 10:14 pm

Daniellast wrote:

I'm not the OP but I also struggle with making phone calls, being open, shyness, and confronting people. You're my inspiration!!!!

Stars

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 10:17 pm

Count me in.

seeker

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 10:28 pm

Me too.

amother

Oak

Fri, Apr 08 2016, 11:42 am

OMG! Are you me?!! I though I'm the only one.
I'm a pretty outgoing person, but every time I need to make a phone call (aside from family or friends) I get huge butterflies in my stomach.
After I dial and wait for the other person to pick up, I pray they won't answer!!
DH can not relate and it actually causes a lot of friction. What in the world is wrong with me??

amother

Floralwhite

Fri, Apr 08 2016, 12:07 pm

I used to be very shy as a child - besides for phone calls I was afraid to knock next door when I wanted to play with my friend.

I've forced myself out of my shyness and am fine with an ordinary phone call. When I find a call difficult, I will say "Hashem Sfasay Tiftach Ufey Yagid Tihelasecho" which is at the beginning of Shmone Esrey. Someone must have suggested it to me once - but it definitely helps me to think Hashem is with me

amother

Aqua

Fri, Apr 08 2016, 2:21 pm

If I picture the person as a safe person, I become much more confident and articulate. Somehow I find it calming.

amother

Green

Fri, Apr 08 2016, 2:23 pm

I used to have this problem in all areas of my life. I ended up switching to a job where I needed to make calls that I didn't like on a regular basis and eventually, I'm ok with it, as long as I'm calling as 'sally from...' and not myself. I still have a really hard time in my personal life with making calls.

Stars

Fri, Apr 08 2016, 3:37 pm

amother wrote:

If I picture the person as a safe person, I become much more confident and articulate. Somehow I find it calming.

So what happens when the person really is a bogey monster?

Zehava

Fri, Apr 08 2016, 3:41 pm

Me too. I don't deal with it though. I only make phone calls when I must. I find its easier when it's a company or doctors office and I know what to expect. But a layperson, that is just freak-worthy. My husband makes most of the phone calls.

amother

Denim

Fri, Apr 08 2016, 4:30 pm

Op here, I don't even know why I opened Imamother instead of making cholent, but thank you for all your replies! I didn't know so many other people grappled with this...

amother

Gold

Fri, Apr 08 2016, 4:59 pm

Me too. Always and in personal and professional life. I'm glad to kno I'm not the only one. I always feel like the other person won't want to talk to me.

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