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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
1ofbillions
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 Wed, Apr 13 2016, 12:02 am
| amother wrote: | I have been groped on my rear end in meron on lag bomer by some crazy na nach boys. I have also been visited on an empty bus with a mechitza by a man's hands trying to get under my dress through the snaps of the mechitza. Ewwwwwwwwww.
I have once walked around a pond with dh when a car stopped and a guy yelled seksy beauty and he then carried on.
I have been flirted to and followed by weird strangers and I think its part of life. Yes I have also been molested as a kid and sekshually abused and raped as an older teen. That tooo is part of life. |
Being molested and raped isn't just a part of normal life.
I am so, so sorry for your pain.
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chani8
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 12:07 am
You dont have to believe a person's story, but you do have the Torah obligation to not hurt someone with your words. Onas Devarim is a d'oraisa and some of you on this thread are oiver. Shame on you.
If you dont have something nice to say, something supportive, then dont say anything.
Last edited by chani8 on Wed, Apr 13 2016, 1:24 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Teal
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 1:00 am
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Mexican guy just tapped my behind. I was paranoid. I screamed and he ran off
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amother
Babyblue
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 4:18 am
Someone mentioned living in a crowded area automatically gives more of harassment. Well I live in a very crowded city (not in the usa) with lots of time being in the subway squashed, and I was never s-xually harassed bh!
I remember when I was a kid I was walking with my cousins on the street and behind us there was this man who kept his 'thing' out and followed us. We creeped out and we told our parents weeks later a policewoman came to my house and she asked us how he looked like etc. And showed us pictures of a few man if we could identify him. I remember afterwards my mother told me that they got him and put him in jail.
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fbc
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 10:13 am
I don't think this is counted as s-xually harassed at all but I have had a couple of "situations" with a guy...he is a family member of a family friend of ours. He was probably 40ish at the time. Maybe 45ish. We became friendly with him whenever he was in town visiting our family friend. We would have them for shabbos meals, Sedarim, the works. He clearly liked me and always made it obvious, but never actually acted upon it. Until the summer b4 I went to sem. He was by us for a shabbos meal and my father told him to lead bentching, so when he got up to harachaman, he said "harachaman hu yevarech es Baal habayis hazeh v'es baalas habayis hazeh v'es fbc (obv used my real name)...." I was so annoyed. Then the day before I left to sem,I was packing all my suitcases and he came by to blow me a kiss good bye...gross (I mean, thank Gd it was only to "blow"a kiss...could've been worse!!!!! I was worried the whole time I was in Israel that he would find me, bc he was from Israel and knew which sem I was going to just because it had come up in random conversation a few times over the yr (b4 he did anything weird). Lol it ends up he hadn't actually been living in Israel then...he had to leave there and come to the US because he refused to give his wife a get...we only found out a few months ago. We thought all this time he was living in Israel and he's actually been much closer. He came in for my wedding, a yr and a half ago and we were touched he came in "all the way from Israel", gave us a gift...only to find out a few months ago he ran away from Israel to avoid giving his wife a get. And now we know his whole life story and my husband and I wish this guy would have never come to our wedding, we even gave away the gift he gave us (thank Gd it was a double!).
Also when I was 11 or 12 I was walking on shabbos with a friend and this car of (I think) Hispanic teens or 20 yr olds passed us by and the guys yelled out "hey s-xy girls!!". My friend and I just moved on. Some guys are weird!!! Now that I think abt it, a couple of ppl have mentioned they've seen a guys pants protruding...that's something I never noticed/knew could happen till I got married  makes me wonder if the guy who we were friendly with ever had his pants protruding in our house when around me and I just never noticed. If so, Better that way! But makes me wonder!
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FranticFrummie
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 10:34 am
If you are in any way even the tiniest female looking, you will be harassed at some point in your life. DD was zexually harassed by an older Arab boy when she was 9 years old! He kept following her around the playground asking her to "suck his d*ck" and "f*ck him". That seemed to be the only English he knew, because she kept asking him to go away, and he would say "No English". Finally she ran to me and told me, and when I tried to shoo him away he just flipped me off and laughed. We had to cut the day short and go home early because the boy and his friends were not leaving. They had no fear of me whatsoever.
B'H, DD was not traumatized, just ticked off and disgusted.
This website is all about what to do, and empowerment. (warning, might be triggering for some.) http://www.ihollaback.org/
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greenfire
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 10:44 am
| fbc wrote: | | Hispanic teens or 20 yr olds passed us by and the guys yelled out "hey s-xy girls!!" |
nah ~ if they were truly hispanic they would yell out in spanish 'mira mira que linda' & if your name was either miriam or linda you would wonder if they knew you ...
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amother
White
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 12:18 pm
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I was once walking to my car from a good friend's wedding in tiferes mordechai on ave c and mcdonald in brooklyn and I was with 4 other girls when a mexican who was passing just reached out and squeezed both my boobs and continued walking. I turned around to see what happened and he just stuck his tongue out and laughed.
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Blessing1
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 12:30 pm
Amother white, this is awful!! Oh my!
Did you report it?
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amother
Violet
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 1:02 pm
| amother wrote: | | I was once walking to my car from a good friend's wedding in tiferes mordechai on ave c and mcdonald in brooklyn and I was with 4 other girls when a mexican who was passing just reached out and squeezed both my boobs and continued walking. I turned around to see what happened and he just stuck his tongue out and laughed. |
I was entering a seasonal store in Boro Park and the entryway was very crowded and people were pushing and shoving. For some reason it felt like the person behind me had their hands deliberately rested on my backside and was doing more than pushing. I turned around and slapped the Hispanic guy. He left.
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amother
Pumpkin
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 1:08 pm
| FranticFrummie wrote: | If you are in any way even the tiniest female looking, you will be harassed at some point in your life. DD was zexually harassed by an older Arab boy when she was 9 years old! He kept following her around the playground asking her to "suck his d*ck" and "f*ck him". That seemed to be the only English he knew, because she kept asking him to go away, and he would say "No English". Finally she ran to me and told me, and when I tried to shoo him away he just flipped me off and laughed. We had to cut the day short and go home early because the boy and his friends were not leaving. They had no fear of me whatsoever.
B'H, DD was not traumatized, just ticked off and disgusted.
This website is all about what to do, and empowerment. (warning, might be triggering for some.) http://www.ihollaback.org/ |
I guess I'm hideous and masculine, then. 
It's sad that misogyny is so enmeshed in our culture that I subconsciously feel that not being harassed means I'm not attractive... so so so messed up.
CLARIFICATION: The stories on this thread are horrific and disgusting and I wouldn't wish them on anybody, male or female. No one should be touched/leered at/catcalled.
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greenfire
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 2:03 pm
| fbc wrote: | | @greenfire, what? |
my point is not to point out that someone crude was hispanic ... or black ... or jewish ... but simply that they are crude
by means of pointing out that they would most likely flirt in spanish over english ~ comprende?
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amother
Coral
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 3:08 pm
| chani8 wrote: | You dont have to believe a person's story, but you do have the Torah obligation to not hurt someone with your words. Onas Devarim is a d'oraisa and some of you on this thread are oiver. Shame on you.
If you dont have something nice to say, something supportive, then dont say anything. |
actually I found her post offensive. As the victim of real zxual abuse I think it is horrible to compare possible one time harassment to the plight of people who are truly survivors. Also, when you make every little thing into zxual abuse you dilute the meaning of the word and cause harm to the real victims.
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Iymnok
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 3:12 pm
| amother wrote: | | actually I found her post offensive. As the victim of real zxual abuse I think it is horrible to compare possible one time harassment to the plight of people who are truly survivors. Also, when you make every little thing into zxual abuse you dilute the meaning of the word and cause harm to the real victims. |
That's why it's called harassment, not abuse.
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amother
Coral
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 3:14 pm
| Iymnok wrote: | | That's why it's called harassment, not abuse. |
the post I am referring to specifically called herself a survivor. I take issue with that terminology.
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amother
Powderblue
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 3:16 pm
| amother wrote: | | the post I am referring to specifically called herself a survivor. I take issue with that terminology. |
I am sorry, I didn't mean that harassment is abuse, but I meant that her post was triggering to me as an abuse survivor and I felt like it was the "I don't believe your story" all over again...
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amother
Firebrick
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 4:06 pm
| amother wrote: | I don't mean to insult....
Just doesn't make sense to me.
I have operating room experience so I just can't see this happening during a c-section. |
I guess you just don't have enough experience.
It happened just as I described.
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amother
Firebrick
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 4:29 pm
| amother wrote: | Sitting crotch high on a stool and rubbing himself against a patient? With the husband and other doctors in the room?  |
There was a c-section going on. The doctors were a bit preoccupied with safely delivering a baby.
The anesthesiologist was not moving very much. But I felt his bulge against my head and shoulder. I'm pretty sure he was standing though he left the room a number of times. At some point I guess he was done because I don't recall this happening by the end of the surgery.
It definitely was not a dream as "rose" suggested.
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amother
Orchid
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 7:29 pm
This is definitely not abuse but some form of harrassment....
My friend and I were on a bus goingfrom Jerusalem to another city, in our seminary year. We were sittinf next to each other but the bus was really crowded so no seats were left. A group of 4-5 chayalim got on and stood right next to us. They were speaking in Hebrew andat first we didn't understand but it became clear that they were talking about really inappropriate topics. They soon started talking to/about us. My friend and I pretended we didn't understand one word but they were saying some really gross stuff/taunting. The one guy closest to my friend (who was in the aisle seat) unbundled his belt and started unzipping his pants whilw they all cheered him on. Mind you his crotch was most certainly eye level and in our faces (tho no noticable bulge.....) at this point my friend and I r embrassed/humiliated to admit we notice what they r doing. Then someone behind us blurts out in hebrew- they might not understand you but we all do and this is disgusting! Once she broke the ice everyone on the bus started yelling at the chayalim.
We were relieved and our stop was really soon so we got off. Bh it didn't have much of an effect on me besides for the fact that I felt so disillusioned by this encounter w the chayalim. I always held members of the idf in a higher moral regard... now I realize they r just as representative of the general population as any other group (not to minimize their sacrifice. ) Was sad.
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