why are your front lawns such a mess?

amother

Cerise

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 6:30 pm

Every time I visit, I shake my head. Overgrown weeds, toys and garbage everywhere, just awful. It's so embarrassing. You don't have to have money to mow your lawn and throw the toys in the back. The non-frum people joke that they always know when they are on a "frum" street because of the state of your front lawns!

amother

Lawngreen

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 7:20 pm

amother wrote:

I am very puzzled. I live in ........ I dont see what you are seeing. Maybe I drive down different streets to you. And your attitude and rudeness stinks. Why tar a whole neighborhood /community with the same brush? I am not impressed with your lashon hara on a worldwide forum like imamother. Confused

anon because I dont want to give away my location

amother

Bronze

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 7:23 pm

amother wrote:

I am very puzzled. I live in Pikesville. I dont see what you are seeing. Maybe I drive down different streets to you. And your attitude and rudeness stinks. Why tar a whole neighborhood /community with the same brush? I am not impressed with your lashon hara on a worldwide forum like imamother. Confused

anon because I dont want to give away my location

Maybe you don't see it because you are living in it and are used to it. Maybe what the OP sees as overgrown laewns and cluttered yards, you see as just consequences of living.

It isn't lashon hara if it is true!

amother

Blush

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 7:29 pm

amother wrote:

Actually, by definition all lashon hara is true. But not everything true should be said.

Motzi shem ra is a false defamative statement. Either way, I think this is a terribly inappropriate post.

PinkFridge

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 7:29 pm

There're no [location removed] community blogs, etc. you can write a letter to? And then let them deal with us and have this thread removed from Imamother?

amother

Bronze

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 7:35 pm

amother wrote:

[/b]

Actually, by definition all lashon hara is true. But not everything true should be said.

Motzi shem ra is a false defamative statement. Either way, I think this is a terribly inappropriate post.

I beg your pardon! People aren't allowed to say others have a messy lawn anymore? I was taught that it meant true speech for a wrongful purpose. I suppose I spoke wrong. It would have been better if I said that I didn't think op was trying to defame anyone. She was just asking.

It is just front lawns. There are bigger things in the world to get upset about

amother

Blush

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 7:44 pm

amother wrote:

No, you're not allowed to speak negatively about a specific group of people, certainly not on such a large forum.

For the record, I live in [this location] and also have not seen this. I've lived in several different areas and never saw this. And all the garbage on my street is clearly treif so it's not coming from the Jewish neighbors.

I will say that I have heard this brought up but I really don't know what streets they are talking about.

cnc

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 7:46 pm

amother wrote:

It's actually Lashon Hora ONLY if it's true.

If it's untrue, that would be motzi shem ra.

amother

Bronze

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 7:48 pm

cnc wrote:

It's actually Lashon Hora ONLY if it's true.

If it's untrue, that would be motzi shem ra.

Ya I realized I misspoke and corrected myself. Occasionally I will confuse the two......usually at times when I am trying to make a point and then my point is lost because I screwed up. Such is life!

justforfun87

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 7:52 pm

Certain blocks have this more than others. It seems to correlate with lots of kids and not a lot of money. There is no one enforcing housing code or whatever so no one gets fined for it. I cringe too when I walk down some blocks wondering what the inside looks like. I may have a messy house but I try to keep an acceptable lawn. I couldn't expose my chaos to the world. Wink

amother

Mistyrose

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 9:50 pm

I'm sorry that the only thing you see when you visit our community is some overgrown yards and toys outside. [This city] is an amazing, open, loving and giving community full of gemilas chasadim. I'm so glad we live here. And, even though I'm a neat freak and most yards are groomed, I'm glad people here don't choose friends by the length of one's grass or by the number of toys outside.

P.S. How do you even know if its Jewish homes or not? [This city] isn't like NY with segregated areas. How do you know you aren't looking at a home with a sick parent who doesn't have the money to pay to cut grass? How do you know the owner isn't elderly and pushing a lawn mower is very difficult? How do you know there aren't two full time working parents who are just very over whelmed and short on cash?

Basically, refocus if the only thing on your mind is chillul hashem. Don't judge the person's messy yard until you are in his place. Your yard may come second if you were in his place.

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 9:57 pm

Oh please.

You are exaggerating.

[This location] is right near northern parkway. Our lawns are immaculate compared to what's going on across the parkway.

Besides, there are a few houses here and there that are messy but the overwhelming majority are fairly well cared for.

Go find something else to get pissed about. Or better yet complain on [a local group].

sourstix

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 9:58 pm

it actually bothers me that op was able to come on here on a public forum and do this. this is poor behavior. no I dont live there as everyone here knows. just think its very not nice to have gone public!!!!

wow, I have no words... sad.

amother

Jade

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 11:58 pm

I find this is a problem also in my neighborhood. Before my neighborhood turned frum, the yards used to be immaculate. Now, the place is a sty. Dirty diapers and other trash are strewn all over the lawns and stink on hot days. There are abandoned cars at every home but 3 on the block - our home and two others. Don't worry - somes neighbors have multiple abandoned cars. There are piles of tires and construction debris linterning the block. Mothers give their kids treats to eat while waiting for the bus, and of couse the garbage gets thtown on the ground because there is no trash receptacles.

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Apr 13 2016, 1:01 am

Actually, having grown up in [this city] and then moved to a different community, I would say that [this city] is so extremely conscious of making a kidush Hashem in the eyes of the greater community and this is something that I always took for granted until I moved away. The state of the lawns in [this location] is AMAZING, I honestly don't know which block you are speaking of. I grew up on not the fanciest block and we all had the landscaping service come to mow the lawns, no one had too many toys out, and while we didn't have fancy ferns etc every lawn looked neat and respectable.
Now, I live in a place that is the opposite extreme, and I wish I could start ticketing people for littering sometimes. I miss [this location].

ora_43

Wed, Apr 13 2016, 1:20 am

justforfun87 wrote:

I may have a messy house but I try to keep an acceptable lawn. I couldn't expose my chaos to the world. Wink

And for people with messy lawns, it's often the opposite. Their attitude is "I may make a mess outside, but I could never have my living space be anything less than clean and organized."

It's a different culture. In my neighborhood there does seem to be a difference between cultural groups re: lawn cleanliness, but it's not that the people who don't invest in their lawns are lazy or unclean, they just prioritize indoor cleanliness and see the areas they don't actually live in (ie outdoors) as low priority. On the streets with the messiest lawns, the houses are spotless inside.

(just ftr, frum Jews seem to be somewhere in the middle re: lawn care)

DrMom

Wed, Apr 13 2016, 1:48 am

I've never been to the neighborhood in question, so I have no idea what sort of mess we are talking about here.

I did grow up in a suburban house with a yard, and I know it does take effort to keep a lawn looking nice. Almost everyone with a nice lawn (including our family) had a hired garden service with lawn maintenance gardeners coming weekly to lay down special fertilizer, etc. During the hot summer days, sprinklers silently spritzed the green turf of every plot of land in the neighborhood. Those with the most lush, emerald plots of land were the most vigilant about keeping the feet of children, the mailman, door-to-door salesmen, etc. confined to paved walkways.

I'd imagine it's difficult to keep an immaculately-manicured lawn with a houseful of kids. What is better: Lawns that are played in and have an occasional toy strewn about, or immaculate golf-course-green lawns and zero population growth?

saw50st8

Wed, Apr 13 2016, 7:28 am

I've been to the neighborhood in question and never seen this. I've only seen well taken care of lawns. Not all the houses themselves are pristine, but it's a lot more expensive to paint the outside of your house, than it is to buy a reel mower.