Being judgemental | Imamother

marina

Tue, Apr 19 2016, 9:42 pm

singleagain wrote:

slightly OT: I don't quite understand what this means... I'm guessing this is imamother jargon similar to Mary/Gary Stu's in fan fiction ... can someone clue me in?

a long long time ago, a poster's husband created two identities TammyTammy and Sue Danym who would argue against each other, with one of them holding extreme chareidi views and the other not.

singleagain

Tue, Apr 19 2016, 9:44 pm

marina wrote:

a long long time ago, a poster's husband created two identities TammyTammy and Sue Danym who would argue against each other, with one of them holding extreme chareidi views and the other not.

ah, thanks for the explanation. I'm sure it would have been very interesting to have been around then

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Apr 19 2016, 9:49 pm

I haven't read all the posts but as someone struggling with my own inner judgemental voice -( Im not usually vocally critical/ judgemental Bc I lack the extroverted nature or the confidence ) and constantly working on myself I thought I would say something.
Judgement is not for the realm of Humans - (can't quote the exact possuk)- it's Gds domain
I only recently realized that My own nature is to expect perfection from myself and others. And although I don't verbally critical pple I do internally and - Im working hard on this for my own sake!!

I just read this today and I think it's on topic and enlightening & insightful :

"I am a recovering perfectionist. Before, I experienced that I and everyone else was always falling short, that who we were and what we did was never quite good enough. I sat in judgment on life itself. Perfectionism is the belief that life is broken...Wholeness lies beyond perfection. The life within us is diminished by judgment...." -- Dr. Naomi Remen

It wasn't until I became a mother that I realized that perfectionism is always the enemy of love. If you're criticizing yourself all the time, you can't feel good inside. Since we can't act much better than we feel, our lack of compassion for ourselves translates into more criticism towards our kids. (Does criticism help you change? Me neither.)
Dr Laura Markham

Good luck
On our journey to achieve true acceptance and in the spirit of the chag -freedom

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Apr 19 2016, 9:58 pm

[quote=]) the consequences of someone's actions are on her own head.[/quote]
1. I wasn't mechalel shabbs befarhesia. I did tell a lot of friends and mentors that I was, but no one ever saw- and definitely not 2 people (requisite witnesses).
2. The consequences may be on my head but that doesn't mean you have to be the one to carry it out. My judgment is between me and G-d. No one else. You don't have to be super close with me if I'm mechalel shabbs, or even close at all, but you have to be nice and not rude and intolerant.

marina

Tue, Apr 19 2016, 10:06 pm

amother wrote:

1. I wasn't mechalel shabbs befarhesia. I did tell a lot of friends and mentors that I was, but no one ever saw- and definitely not 2 people (requisite witnesses).
2. The consequences may be on my head but that doesn't mean you have to be the one to carry it out. My judgment is between me and G-d. No one else. You don't have to be super close with me if I'm mechalel shabbs, or even close at all, but you have to be nice and not rude and intolerant.

That's what I'm saying. I don't think Seas would be rude at all and I don't think her behavior would be noticeably different than towards any other person whom she is not close with.

amother

Hotpink

Tue, Apr 19 2016, 10:11 pm

marina wrote:

For the first four years of this forum's existence, the main moderator, second in line after Yael, made Seas look positively reform.

The population here has shifted significantly to the left since then and we have more diversity here, which is nice. But there are huge swaths of the frum world who completely agree with Seas, and it's important to have her perspective here as well.

Not only do I disagree with you but am deeply offended in the name of the majority of the "frum" world.

AFAIK the majority of the frum world treat other's with lot's of compassion and love. How dare you campare!!

As a frum and chassidish person I am immensely disgusted with each and every post of this so called frum poster.
IMHO she's a disgrace to the frum world. Her mean and selfish attitude is immensely disturbing and inexcusable! Puke

There - I feel much better now At wits end

Maya

Tue, Apr 19 2016, 10:21 pm

amother wrote:

There - I feel much better now At wits end

Your indignation is cute, but marina is actually right. There are huge swaths of the frum population who think and speak like this poster, they're just not vocal about it outside of their communities.

marina

Tue, Apr 19 2016, 10:23 pm

amother wrote:

There - I feel much better now At wits end

are you chabad?

amother

Hotpink

Wed, Apr 20 2016, 6:58 am

Maya wrote:

Well those are surely of the none righteous ones - uneducated ones - uncompassionate ones, unlike the pious and righteous ones, I.e. tzaddikei "emes" - pious leaders, especially of previous generations who were famous for their compassion, ahavas yisroel with ahavas nefesh - immense love towards any and all kinds, no matter whatever one's spiritual status might have been, mechallelie shabbas or not.

signed,
very chassidish - Not chabad Wink

. Although I cherish chabad chasidos allot for their compassion in kiruv. They are an extraordinary beautiful community.

Maya

Wed, Apr 20 2016, 7:39 am

amother wrote:

Well those are surely of the none righteous ones - uneducated ones - uncompassionate ones, unlike the pious and righteous ones, I.e. tzaddikei "emes" - pious leaders, especially of previous generations who were famous for their compassion, ahavas nefesh - true love towards any and all kinds, no matter whatever one's spiritual status might have been, mechallelie shabbas or not.

signed,
very chassidish - Not chabad Wink

. Although I cherish chabad chasidos allot for their compassion in kiruv. They are an extraordinary beautiful community.

Who's talking about previous generations? We're discussing the reality now.

princessleah

Wed, Apr 20 2016, 8:22 am

Seas wrote:

So to answer your question, I'm ecstatic that you've done tshuva and are now keeping Shabbos, I really am. Still, at the time when you weren't, you were acting out of your own free will, and as we all know actions have consequences. If one of these consequences is becoming shunned by frum people, unfortunately so be it.

If you don't mind, can you point me to the source you are using where it discusses the halacha in which frum people are obligated to shun other Jews who are mechallel Shabbat?

Thank you.

amother

Hotpink

Wed, Apr 20 2016, 8:57 am

Maya wrote:

So you want to be in denial and call it a few rotten apples? That's fine, but it's not the reality.

Of course I am not denying that there are more than just a few. The population is humongous! So unfortunately there are quite allot in numbers...
However I believe that that the majority are thus of much better quality than...