Kids sleeping outside alone

thunderstorm

Mon, Apr 25 2016, 7:34 am

My 13 yr old son asked for the strangest afikomen gifts. He asked for two things.

Firstly he wants to sleep outside in a tent in our backyard for two weeks and secondly he wants to go to the most haunted street in America...(something he read about somewhere). My MIL agreed to take him to this haunted place, which totally freaks me out. But what's driving me crazy is him sleeping outside in the back yard alone. I dont feel that it's safe. My DH said it's not a problem at all. We live in Monsey. Is it even legal to allow a child to sleep outside alone? My DH said that he would not sleep with him, and neither am I for that matter...would you allow it?

thunderstorm

Mon, Apr 25 2016, 7:39 am

cnc wrote:

Can anyone access your backyard?

Well there is a fence all around, but anyone can open it or climb over it...we live in a pretty quiet and dead place...I know that the fence prevents larger animals from coming in...but there is a reason why we lock our doors at night, no?

Stars

Mon, Apr 25 2016, 7:43 am

Tell him when he's 18 and still has this desire, you will rethink it. Although I suspect this wouldn't last more than a half a night, still I wouldn't allow it.

esther11

Mon, Apr 25 2016, 7:43 am

I only would let with a parent around too...sadly the world is not safe and why let ur child play with fire?

Would your dh be willing to sleep out there one night instead of 2 weeks?

cnc

Mon, Apr 25 2016, 7:56 am

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

I most definitely would not allow it then.

estibesty

Mon, Apr 25 2016, 10:59 am

No way I woulnt let him outside alone! That so silly better safe then sorry! Even thou I doubt something will happen it a scary world and not worth the risk. If my 12 yr old son asked me id never ever let

DrMom

Mon, Apr 25 2016, 11:04 am

If it's a safe neighborhood (I've never been to Monsey myself), then I don't see the big deal. It's a fenced-in backyard of a private home. He can always come in the house if he needs to.

It is a weird request, though.

Edited to add: What is this "most haunted street in America?"

mha3484

Mon, Apr 25 2016, 11:14 am

I think two weeks is a bit odd. If he tried out one night with a friend or an older boy would you be more comfortable? I have seen how nature can be a transformative experience for a teen it would be a shame to say no without coming up with an alternative plan.

pause

Mon, Apr 25 2016, 12:03 pm

I would agree to one night and take it from there. Though, admittedly, I probably wouldn't sleep all night long.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Apr 25 2016, 12:11 pm

13 is legally old enough to be left alone overnight, or to babysit an infant.

I am trying to understand what would be so dangerous about your back yard. What do you think is going to happen, and what are the odds of it happening?

Miri7

Mon, Apr 25 2016, 12:19 pm

Let him try it out. If you are worried about safety, then, if you don't already have them, install some motion-detector lights that will come on if someone approaches your backyard. That does deter folks. You could offer to "dog-sit" someone's dog who can act as a watchdog for your child (who may also like having the company). Buy your child an airhorn to use in case of emergency.

I think that it's wonderful that your son is wanting this kind of independence and it should be encouraged. Sleeping in the backyard in a normal safe neighborhood is probably a lot safer than crossing the street or riding in a car, and we do those all the time.

WastingTime

Mon, Apr 25 2016, 12:52 pm

We've let my kids stay in the sukkah alone when dh wanted to be with me. There were adults in the nextdoor sukkah though...
I agree that he probably wouldn't keep to 2 weeks..

amother

Salmon

Mon, Apr 25 2016, 4:36 pm

do what you are comfortable with -- if you won't sleep then tell him the truth "I trust you and would love to let but won't sleep a wink and need to be a cheerful rested mom so...please lets come to an agreement on something else...

amother

Papaya

Mon, Apr 25 2016, 7:26 pm

Do you have a deck or a porch? I had a friend who occasionally would sleep outside on the deck in a sleeping bag. I also know someone who built a tree house and slept in it once in a while. Both were in Monsey.

thunderstorm

Tue, Apr 26 2016, 7:17 am

amother wrote:

We actually have two porches and one of them is enclosed...but I think he wants to sleep out in the grassy area. My neighborhood is a very safe, but I'm a city girl so I understand the dangers. It's interesting...in my family, I'm the only one against the idea everyone else thinks I'm overreacting. He already tried sleeping in a tent in the mountains, but my DH was with him...now he wants to move it a step up and sleep outside on his own.

thunderstorm

Tue, Apr 26 2016, 7:19 am

DrMom wrote:

The most haunted street is on Clinton Road in New Jersey in Passaic somewhere...

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Apr 26 2016, 8:06 am

I really don't see what the big deal is. You live in a safe neighborhood and your backyard is enclosed with a gate. Give him a cellphone to have with him and leave your back door unlocked.

He's 13 years old. He's of the age where he is starting to try to be more independent. I really think this is a relatively mild request.

If I were you, I would tell him you are going to ok it for one night, and then see how it goes.

I also grew up in NYC (Brooklyn) and now live in Monsey.

sweetpotato

Tue, Apr 26 2016, 8:17 am

Your son wants to go camping in the backyard. Sounds fun, I did it when I was a kid. Do you really fear intruders would climb over your fence, into your backyard, during the night? At 13, unless your son is very immature and you fear he would actually wander off during the night, or otherwise hurt himself, I cannot envision any actual danger or even mild risk to this scenario.