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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
amother
Fuchsia
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Wed, Apr 27 2016, 11:30 pm
I come from a very open family. Growing up it was very normal to be open about things like constipation, gas, and diarrhea. My dh is the complete opposite. He gets very uncomfortable with even the slightest discussion on these subjects. If I tell him I'm constipated, he will make a face and tell me that he doesn't need to know about it. If I include a detail and say, I'm really constipated. I haven't gone in 3 days, He will actually get in a bad mood. Is this normal?
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sequoia
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Wed, Apr 27 2016, 11:35 pm
I think Pesach kind of unites us in the sense that everyone is constipated.
Generally, it's nice to share things with your spouse, but if it really bothers him, save the details for a sister or girlfriend.
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amother
Maroon
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Wed, Apr 27 2016, 11:53 pm
I think you are both normal. at least in this area. Everyone is entitled to his/her own comfort level. As sequoia said, if he's uncomfortable, talk to someone else. Personally, I wouldn't be comfortable talking to others about this topic, but if someone mentions it to me, I don't get in a bad mood from listening. My dh is more open to talking about it.
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DrMom
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Thu, Apr 28 2016, 1:40 am
Personally, I share your DH's opinion on this. TMI.
I don't think it's normal for him to get angry the first few times you tell him (let's say, early on in your marriage), but since has made it clear he doesn't want to hear about it, why persist in telling him? Is something compelling you to report to him on the state of your digestive tract every day? Do you want him to run out and buy you laxatives?
If I explicitly told someone I did not want to hear about a specific topic and yet s/he kept talking about it to me, I would be justified in becoming annoyed.
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imasoftov
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Thu, Apr 28 2016, 8:12 am
I would not be in the best of moods if I had been constipated for three days ...
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WastingTime
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Thu, Apr 28 2016, 8:50 am
Having a chronic constipation problem myself -I think it's different sharing constipation and "stam" discussing bathroom type things. It can be serious issue- you may need more help, etc. It's like telling dh that you have a flu coming. I think adults need to grow up if they can't handle hearing about a spouse's digestive illnesses-- especially if it's spoken in general terms. You don't need to be descriptive obviously!
Feel better! Make sure you drink a lot, get lots of raw vegetables (that has made me feel much better the last few days) and take walks.
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greenfire
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Thu, Apr 28 2016, 9:36 am
TMI is always too much information ... it's understandable if there is an issue like after everybody is sick from matza [which is why we get whole wheat] ... or if someone is specifically not feeling well
but there is the balance of leaving the details out
consider how awful it feels for someone to discuss their excrement whilst you sit & try to enjoy a cup of coffee ~ pretty nauseating & there went breakfast
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amother
Orchid
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Thu, Apr 28 2016, 9:46 am
My DH is the one who gives out TMI on these subjects. Unless it's at the table I don't say anything because it doesn't bother me that much, but I don't get why he needs to give me these details.
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