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3+ kids in a 3 bedroom house
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Sun, May 01 2016, 10:41 pm
I almost feel too dumb to post this question as I know it's really a "first world problem." We live in a different state than our parents in a three bedroom house with two children. Since DC are the same gender, they share a room and our third room is our guest room. We occasionally have Shabbos guests but it's mostly used for when our parents come for extended visits. One set of parents visit every two-3 months for at least a week and the other set visit about twice a year for around 10 days each. Summer, sukkos, winter break, pesach and often in between depending on events in our lives.

We are expecting our third iyH and I am really worrying about giving up our guest room. The bedrooms aren't so large so if we put all three together in one room it would require new furniture to make it all fit (bunk beds). Or we move either the coming baby or oldest DC into the extra bedroom but then we lose our guest room.

What do others do in our situation? Just move a kid out of their room each time family comes? I don't want to crowd the kids just to keep a room open for family to visit but I also want to make sure family has a comfortable place to stay when they visit.

Please keep me from stressing about this all pregnancy!! There must be an easy solution that's staring me in the face I haven't figured out.

TIA
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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 01 2016, 10:44 pm
We also had 4 kids in 3 rooms. We found it to be a waste to dedicate a specific room for guests when we could be getting mileage out of it all year. Just move the extra kid out onto a mattress on your floor or the other kids room when they visit.
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Sun, May 01 2016, 10:49 pm
any possibility of fixing up a basement for a guest room? A den?

Why should everyone have to sleep together for the few nights a yr. that you have guests?

Truth is -- after I had 3 kids I stopped having guests. I found it too stressful for guests to be near our bedrooms if a baby was crying at night, sharing a bathroom etc. I hated going out of my room in pj's to a crying child hoping I wouldn't meet anyone in the hallway! I really did have room but it became too difficult for me ....

Well, your newborn can sleep with you for the first 2-3 months - no? so I buys you a little more time.
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oliveoil




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 01 2016, 11:01 pm
I would use the room and move the kids out when you have guests. They can either sleep with you, or with the other kids.

Very normal, very common.
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Goldie613




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 02 2016, 12:59 am
You can always keep a trundle bed or a folding bed on hand for child number three to stay in the room with the other kids when company is coming (or for a baby, a folding crib/playpen). If company comes when the little one is still up a lot at night, the baby can just stay in your room for a few days (or even the living room, if you prefer).

The rest of the time the baby can have the room.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 02 2016, 1:08 am
amother wrote:
any possibility of fixing up a basement for a guest room? A den?

Why should everyone have to sleep together for the few nights a yr. that you have guests?

Truth is -- after I had 3 kids I stopped having guests. I found it too stressful for guests to be near our bedrooms if a baby was crying at night, sharing a bathroom etc. I hated going out of my room in pj's to a crying child hoping I wouldn't meet anyone in the hallway! I really did have room but it became too difficult for me ....

Well, your newborn can sleep with you for the first 2-3 months - no? so I buys you a little more time.

Um... because it's not a huge inconvenience for most kids and it's only temporary and it allows you to have guests and be hospitable? Kids can be flexible and generous, if you allow them that opportunity.

Not everyone has extra unoccupied rooms just lying around waiting for a purpose.
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grace413




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 02 2016, 1:46 am
I think she meant why should kids sleep together all year long when the guests are only there for a short while - as in she's agreeing that the 3rd room should be used for the kids all year.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Mon, May 02 2016, 1:51 am
We have 7 kids, 3 bedrooms. On a regular basis they sleep in separate rooms - 3 boys, 4 girls. But when we have guests, they move in with each other - the room is big enough for all of them on mattresses on the floor.
But I don't have long term guests - ie. family moving in for a week or something. It's usually just a Shabbos guest.

It depends how flexible the kids are though. I could imagine little kids/ babies not being settled if moved to another room for a few days, and then moved back. My kids are bigger. They find it fun - when they all camp out together.
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LiLIsraeli




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 02 2016, 2:17 am
I have 4 kids in a 3-bedroom apartment. The bedrooms are small and we have 2 kids in each. We don't have sleepover guests anymore.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 02 2016, 4:12 am
Keep your eyes on Craig's List,your community bulletin, fb, etc for someone trying to retire their bunk beds. Also try to get a toddler bed. It's the size of a full crib, but irs a short bed with a railing.
I grew up in a three bedroom house. We were six kids. I remember five in one room, two bunk beds and a crib. The baby was with my parents.
It may be worth getting a sofa bed.
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Hashem_Yaazor




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 02 2016, 9:37 am
When I had a 3 BR apartment with 6 kids, I usually only had family who was happy to have my toddler in the room, but if not, toddler could move in with me. Baby was always in my room. My kids like having "sleepovers" so the others would just combine to one room.
Even now, when I have more bedrooms (and therefore a dedicated guest one), we only use 3 for our family, and I could get away with 2 if it wasn't school nights and the need to separate kids from talking to one another. One room has a bunk bed and single bed, but my 2.5 yo sleeps on the single bed with my 9 yo, so I ended up with 4 in that room. My 7.5 and 6 yos are in the second room with an empty crib my toddler abandoned, and baby is in my room. But last night my 9 yo slept on the floor in that room. They shuffle around and would be thrilled to all be in one room if I let them!
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 02 2016, 12:03 pm
Above 3,2 kids per bedroom is the norm. Don't host.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Mon, May 02 2016, 12:24 pm
Thanks!

For those saying no more hosting, that's not an option for our families - we aren't able to visit them for numerous reasons so the only way for them to see us and the grandchildren is to stay with us. I'm fine with either not hosting shabbos overnight guests or smushing the kids together for a night here or there, my biggest concern like others noted was what about the frequent long term FAMILY guests we have. We live very far from family, no hotels close by plus it's an extra expense and I can't send them to someone else's guest room when they always stay for 7-10 days minimum.

Unfortunately we don't have a den or basement to convert - or even the funds to if we wanted Wink

I guess our parents will just have to deal with either sleeping in the playroom, sharing with a kid, or letting me in constantly to get things for the kid who is temporarily moved during their stay. Not a perfect solution but it's not permanent either.
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amother
Coral


 

Post Mon, May 02 2016, 2:09 pm
I don't think it's a problem. I grew up one of 10 kids in a 3 bedroom. We all moved into one room when there were guests or when my grandmother moved in or we would sleep on sleeper couches in the living room. I have a couple of kids in a 1 bedroom now and we got a screen for the living room and comfortable couches and a folding bed that goes in the living room. We have had guests for weeks on end in the living room and we all sleep in the bedroom. My kids are still young so this is still an option. I am a big fan of sleeper couches and trundles and not having clutter I don't need.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 02 2016, 2:13 pm
I was sad to give up my guest room but I did it. I am definitely more reluctant to host random people if it means moving a kid out of their room, but we will for family.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 02 2016, 2:48 pm
amother wrote:
I almost feel too dumb to post this question as I know it's really a "first world problem." We live in a different state than our parents in a three bedroom house with two children. Since DC are the same gender, they share a room and our third room is our guest room. We occasionally have Shabbos guests but it's mostly used for when our parents come for extended visits. One set of parents visit every two-3 months for at least a week and the other set visit about twice a year for around 10 days each. Summer, sukkos, winter break, pesach and often in between depending on events in our lives.

We are expecting our third iyH and I am really worrying about giving up our guest room. The bedrooms aren't so large so if we put all three together in one room it would require new furniture to make it all fit (bunk beds). Or we move either the coming baby or oldest DC into the extra bedroom but then we lose our guest room.

What do others do in our situation? Just move a kid out of their room each time family comes? I don't want to crowd the kids just to keep a room open for family to visit but I also want to make sure family has a comfortable place to stay when they visit.

Please keep me from stressing about this all pregnancy!! There must be an easy solution that's staring me in the face I haven't figured out.

TIA

I haven't read all the responses, so I don't know what everyone else does, but here is what we did in our three bedroom. My two older ones are a boy and a girl. I didn't have the luxury of separating them, because we only had two extra bedrooms. So they shared. For the most part it was ok. They shared a dresser, closet, etc. when number 3 came along (a boy) he was in our room, and then he was in a crib in the third room. That room had a desk, a crib, and a hi- riser. When we had company, we would bring him into our room. Because my other room also had two beds, we would sometimes bring the two other kids into our room also, if those beds were needed. It was a little rough sometimes, but we made it work. We had one neighbor who BH had six kids!! They had a guest room in the basement. Had we owned our house we might have done that, but then again we might not have.
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mommy24




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 03 2016, 9:50 am
We are a family of 10 with 4 bedrooms. Until recently, we only used 3 bedrooms, we needed one to be kept as an office. My boys shared one room and girls share another. Baby sleeps in our room til about 9 months, thats just easiest for me. When we moved into our house, we had only 5 kids it was mmuch easier. WE did make a guest room in our basement becuauce like you our family moves in for weeks at a time3 to 4 times a year, plus we have one family member over to sleep once a month. As the kids got older, and we had more, we ended up using the guest bedroom as a bedroom for 2 kids. Now what they do is once a week they sleep in the other kids rooms, they take whatthey need for the night and everyone is fine. When we have longterm guest, like over yomtov and summer, the kids move a weeks worth of clothing at a time upstairs. They also move anything that can be int he guests way out of the room as well. Its hard on the kids, but there really is no other option. but the kids get used to it and they are happy to be able to spend that time with famly members that come to visit.
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Tue, May 03 2016, 10:40 am
so you have a playroom .... that's great!! does it have a door? Can you buy a high riser to keep there?
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Tue, May 03 2016, 8:27 pm
amother wrote:
so you have a playroom .... that's great!! does it have a door? Can you buy a high riser to keep there?


No, it's more like a very open den or sunroom, no way to close it off, the entrance is like 12 feet wide right off the living room so very public. But a sleeper couch may be a possibility down the road. Still no place for long term guests to store their things or have easy bathroom access.
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Tue, May 03 2016, 8:33 pm
amother wrote:
No, it's more like a very open den or sunroom, no way to close it off, the entrance is like 12 feet wide right off the living room so very public. But a sleeper couch may be a possibility down the road. Still no place for long term guests to store their things or have easy bathroom access.


oh, so maybe your 2 older kids can sleep there? Are they mature enough to be able to handle the change? (some of my kids would not do well sleeping in another place)
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