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Selling Yichud room present for $
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kelsorino




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 11:13 am
Is this something I would regret. I don't really like the jewlery that I was given (not my taste). I'm sure my husband has nothing to do with the picking of the jewlery.

I really need some extra cash. Has anyone ever done this? Will I regret it in the long run?
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pointyshoes




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 11:15 am
Dont do it! Come on- its your yichud room gift!!
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 11:25 am
There's no point of being sentimental about something you don't like. So I would sell it if you need the money and your husband won't be hurt.
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Faigy86




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 11:30 am
I would say only do it together. Not just based on an assumption that he won't be hurt, but with an active inquiry - is this ok. Also, be totally honest with yourself, are you the type of person to later attribute more meaning to the gift just because of when it was given, even if you don't particularly like it?
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 11:33 am
pointyshoes wrote:
Dont do it! Come on- its your yichud room gift!!


The real yichud room gift is a good marriage. I agree with tichellady. If DH agrees and the jewelry is just gathering dust, then get the best you can for it. Life is too short to hang onto things that don't bring you joy. If financial improvement will make you happy, then that is what you should focus on.

Maybe talk to DH about getting you something nice for an anniversary, that is within your budget. A 5 or 10 year celebration present will be a lot more meaningful than what you have now.
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 11:34 am
I never liked my Kallah bracelet, which my MIL A"H chose. After she passed away I traded it in for something I liked better. I wouldn't have hurt her by doing that before...but I'm figuring up there she's okay with it.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 11:38 am
amother wrote:
I never liked my Kallah bracelet, which my MIL A"H chose. After she passed away I traded it in for something I liked better. I wouldn't have hurt her by doing that before...but I'm figuring up there she's okay with it.


My mom gave me a huge collection of teacups and saucers that don't match, but are antique. She told me "Don't sell them until I'm dead!" LOL
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kelsorino




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 11:45 am
lol the teacup thing is funny. Guess I should run it by my husband first but I doubt he would care. I don't wear them and I am not close enough with my in-laws that they would be insulted. I am not a very sentimental person when it comes to material possessions. I would have much preferred a letter from my husband and would love to send my 2 year old to playgroup!
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 11:52 am
OP, a few questions - is DH ok with it? How long have you been married? Will your MIL even notice if you don't wear it? I ask how long you've been married because if its not a lot of time, your in laws may get upset.

I wanted to have my engagement ring cut and a piece of it made into a pendant. It was my husbands great whoever's ring, its a cocktail ring. My dh stupidly asked his mother - and she was livid. She would rather it sit in a drawer then cut it. I dont get it.
My mother, on the other hand, left me her engagement ring to sell the diamond and use the money to buy an engagement ring - she knew I hated what I had and she knew I hate the shape of her diamond. But its worth almost nothing (huge flaw) and theres no point in selling it.

People are weird about this stuff, and each family has a different dynamic. We cant really advise you on what to do unless we know more about your own story.

All I can really say is remember this when IYH your own son is engaged - let the poor girl pick out her own jewelry!
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 11:53 am
kelsorino wrote:
lol the teacup thing is funny. Guess I should run it by my husband first but I doubt he would care. I don't wear them and I am not close enough with my in-laws that they would be insulted. I am not a very sentimental person when it comes to material possessions. I would have much preferred a letter from my husband and would love to send my 2 year old to playgroup!


Just so you know, you arent likely to get enough money to send your child anywhere but maybe out for pizza. The resale on jewelry is almost nothing.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 12:00 pm
watergirl wrote:
Just so you know, you arent likely to get enough money to send your child anywhere but maybe out for pizza. The resale on jewelry is almost nothing.


This.

I remember a few years ago my sisters and I chipped in and bought our youngest sister earrings as a graduation gift. Some time later she felt she had outgrown the style and wanted to trade them in toward something else...I was with her in the Jewelry store where they were still selling the pair for about $150.....and they offered her about $40 for them!

I made a quick calculation that I have three daughters B"AH and could purchase an $150 pair of earrings for less than 1/3 of the price, so I offered her the $$$ myself! My girls have enjoyed those earrings!
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 12:10 pm
I wanted to sell some jewelry when we first got married because we desperately needed the money, but held on for sentimental wtvr
A few years later it was stolen when my house was robbed
You have to go with your feelings
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kelsorino




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 12:54 pm
I really wont get much for it? Sad Sad Sad Sad

I've been married 4 years and don't have a good relationship with my in laws. I'm sure they would be insulted but they are also insulted if I sneeze in the wrong direction.

Bh I picked out my ring and I love it but I told them before they bought these not to bother bc I am not a jewlery person and they did anyways bc my m.I.l was worried what her friends would say if they didn't. so on her end she is covered.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 1:04 pm
funny. I didnt know people get jewelery in the yichud room

I got a kiss.
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 2:07 pm
amother wrote:
funny. I didnt know people get jewelery in the yichud room

I got a kiss.


See what you learn on imamother
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 2:13 pm
have it appraised and see it's worth before making any decisions

one person's sentiments are another person's preschool tuition

preschool won't be remembered - but your daughter might love that piece of jewelry when she grows up
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wifenmother




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 2:38 pm
Some great responses on this thread! I especially like watergirl's about keeping this in mind when your own son is engaged. And even more than that: her comment about resale value.

Here's my story: my in-law's bought me earrings that my husband gave me as a yichud room present. They were really nice and let me choose them several weeks before the wedding. They were beautiful and I really like them. Fast forward a decade + and it was so, so outdated. For my son's bar mitzva my husband treated me to new diamond earrings which we chose together. The resale value of my original earrings wasn't as much as I had hoped they'd be so I had them redesigned into a stylish weekday earring.

So, OP have them appraised and then make your decision with your husband's consent. Your in-law's don't have to know about this because although in theory they may agree with you, they may very well be insulted. And if you're disappointed with the resale value, consider redesigning it.

Good luck!
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wifenmother




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 2:39 pm
greenfire wrote:
have it appraised and see it's worth before making any decisions

one person's sentiments are another person's preschool tuition

preschool won't be remembered - but your daughter might love that piece of jewelry when she grows up


Like the bolded. Good thinking!
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kelsorino




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 3:33 pm
amother wrote:
funny. I didnt know people get jewelery in the yichud room

I got a kiss.


lol. and that's the way it should be! sorry I think kallahs are given way too much jewlery which was part of the reason I asked them not to get it for me in the first place but I was told that I was being a brat and should just say thank you and one day I would want them.
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kelsorino




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2016, 3:36 pm
I guess I will get them appraised and then make a decision if it is worth it. If it is enough for playgroup then I will probably sell it. (I need him out for my sanity!)

Thanx!!
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