Would you leave baby behind or take along?

amother

Taupe

Sun, May 08 2016, 10:27 am

Planning a 2 wk trip in a few weeks and have a 12 MO nursing baby. He eats everything but will only go to sleep nursing. I never stayed clean for so long. Is it worth stopping to nurse to leave baby behind? Or take along on this 7 hr flight and be busy with him all the time? I'll always feel guilty for giving up my nursing at this point. Wwyd?

allthingsblue

Sun, May 08 2016, 10:30 am

I would never leave my 12 month old child alone for 2 weeks for non emergency purposes...
Nothing to do with nursing or not nursing.

Stars

Sun, May 08 2016, 10:35 am

Never ever would leave a child under two, maybe even three, for that long (unless it's an emergency) . You'll have to deal with two weeks of getting reacquainted afterwards.

amother

Smokey

Sun, May 08 2016, 10:40 am

Don't do it.

I left my 9 month old with my parents for 8 days once.

I thought he would not remember it.

I paid dearly for it for more than a year following the vacation.

He developed anxiety issues and cried every time we went near my parents house.

I still feel terribly guilty. It was a mistake but I should have known better.

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, May 08 2016, 10:48 am

I left my kids when they were 3 and 18 months. It was fine.
I would not ever do it earlier than thay. They also stayed at my parents where they r extremely comfortable.

pointyshoes

Sun, May 08 2016, 11:03 am

You have to weigh your options. What do you want more: to stay clean or have a real vacation?
That said I would never ever leave such a young child behind

amother

Vermilion

Sun, May 08 2016, 11:06 am

Get yourself a baby carrier and enjoy your vacation. You could also plan a vacation for when this child is older or for a shorter time. I'd rather go fewer days without baby than longer with.

mommy3b2c

Sun, May 08 2016, 11:06 am

Stars wrote:

Never ever would leave a child under two, maybe even three, for that long (unless it's an emergency) . You'll have to deal with two weeks of getting reacquainted afterwards.

Let's not go overboard. While I would never leave a child that young for two weeks, they most certainly will not foret their parents.

cnc

Sun, May 08 2016, 12:42 pm

I don't nurse and would never leave a child of that age for so long.
I've done it once for a week and regretted it after.
The most I would do is a Sunday-Thursday.

I wouldn't even leave my big kids for so long even though they beg me to. Maximum is a week.

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, May 08 2016, 12:47 pm

amother wrote:

I left my kids when they were 3 and 18 months. It was fine.
I would not ever do it earlier than thay. They also stayed at my parents where they r extremely comfortable.

Forgot to mention it was for 5 days

Talya

Sun, May 08 2016, 12:58 pm

Would never leave my baby that long nursing or not. Forget the baby--I couldn't handle it! Nursing clean should not be your concern right now. Think of your baby not being able to fall asleep any other way. Think how much they will miss you. Don't do it unless it is is emergent. "Needing" a vacation isn't emergent btw.

ra_mom

Sun, May 08 2016, 2:03 pm

I left my oldest at age 14 months at my sister for one night and most of two days and that is the longest I would do it for. Also left my second one at almost age 2 for one night at my sister-in-law.

FranticFrummie

Sun, May 08 2016, 2:11 pm

When DD was 18 months (not nursing) I left her for two weeks. I had a once in a lifetime opportunity to take a trip with my best friend, and she was covering all of the expenses except air fare and souvenirs.

When I got back, DD took one look at me and screamed. She was so mad, she couldn't stop crying for an hour, and refused to look at me. She didn't want me to hold her, and she kept this up for days! I never thought a baby would be capable of holding a grudge, never mind giving someone the "silent treatment" for days on end.

B'H, she doesn't remember any of it now, and when I tell her about it, she laughs and thinks it's funny that she was "punishing me". Just because DD is fine with it now, doesn't make me feel less guilty about it though. She may not remember, but I always will. Sad

PAMOM

Sun, May 08 2016, 2:29 pm

OP, you didn't ask if it was ok to leave him (presumably with a close family member or your husband--which could be fine), and you said you'd feel guilty forever if you stopped nursing now. Is it worth feeling guilty? Are you interested in trying to wean him now anyhow? If you're going to feel guilty, won't that spoil your trip?
And, while I know nothing about the specifics of your situation, I most definitely think there may be circumstances where a vacation is an emergency.

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, May 08 2016, 3:42 pm

theres nothing like an all alone vacation but I think I agree with everyone else - it's a long time to leave a baby. depending on your baby can you make it nice by bringing her along? use a baby carrier? will you be in a frum area that you could hire a babysitter that you would trust so you can go out alone at night sometimes while she sleeps?

Miri7

Sun, May 08 2016, 3:51 pm

I think 12 months is too young to be gone for two weeks, barring an extreme emergency. Even with an emergency, like flying home to care for a sick parent, CVS, I'd probably try to get a sitter or someone to come with me to care for my baby when I'm at the hospital with the sick parent so I wouldn't have to leave the baby. This is especially true for a nursing baby, since I find that nursing babies are super super bonded with their mothers at this stage. To leave suddenly for so long would be too much.

I would work on getting references for babysitters at your destination, so you and DH can go out for a stroll while baby is napping or go out in the evenings.

Maryann

Sun, May 08 2016, 3:55 pm

No way never , I went away for 5 days to Israel for my brother wedding my baby was 2 but I left her with my husband so totally different and that was like daring enough

greenfire

Sun, May 08 2016, 5:40 pm

I would feel guilty leaving a kitten behind

a baby just wouldn't happen unless there was an emergency [to salvage some sholom bayis maybe for a night] but not for a 7 hour flight for who knows how long