Would you leave baby behind or take along?

amother

Taupe

Sun, May 08 2016, 6:27 pm

Thanks for all your replies!!! Wow u all gave me food for thought! Going to brothers wedding and will probably be around 9-10 days. Can't think of leaving baby because he is really attached to me. But. This is a wedding and many nights out. And he doesnt ever sleep in a carriage! Also I never went on vacation w dh without a tiny baby bh. Or pregnant. So I thought this is the right time. Alright I guess we'll see when we get closer to departure. I wish I can take him along. But won't be the same!

amother

Cerise

Sun, May 08 2016, 9:08 pm

I've gone on a vacation with a baby. If you're leaving a few others behind it sure feels like a vacation, you can still talk to DH & the baby (mostly) doesn't interrupt...

I had a nursing baby when my oldest DD was due with her first, and she was living overseas. My baby was around 2 but I got her a passport rather then think of leaving her. I knew I wouldn't be as much help to the new mother by bringing my baby, but still would be better than not going.

If you're asking my opinion, don't leave your baby if you don't have to.

kalsee

Mon, May 09 2016, 1:26 am

I'm also thinking about an extended vacation (about 2 weeks).
My youngest will be 3.5 , and hopefully I'll get someone to stay in my house so that eveeyone will keep to their routine.

Would you do it?

FranticFrummie

Mon, May 09 2016, 3:48 am

kalsee wrote:

3.5 is really different. You can explain things to them at that age. They might still be upset about it, but I think that it will be OK. Still, only you know how your kids will react, so use your best judgement. Some kids are really clingy, and others are super independent.

amother

Crimson

Mon, May 09 2016, 4:19 am

I left my 1yr old for about 5 days. It was an emergency, and it was last-minute, without much time to think about it. I had to stop nursing him for that. But he was fine. I found it hard and physically painful (I pumped out a little milk each day, just to relieve the pain).

When I returned he was fine, b"h., remembered me - liked me - was happy to see me.

salt

Mon, May 09 2016, 5:25 am

amother wrote:

Would you be able to take him with on the trip as a whole, but leave him with a babysitter during the wedding itself and the evenings out?

believeit

Mon, May 09 2016, 6:44 am

I would suggest you should take baby with you and ask around there for a good babysitter for the late hours. That way he/she can sleep in a bed at the babysitter. I did that at my sils wedding. I even used the babysitter for some hours during the day because I had nothing for him to do and he needed to play/games which I hadn't at my mil. He was 22months btw.

Chayalle

Mon, May 09 2016, 10:21 am

I took my DD with me to my brother's wedding overseas, at 18 months (she was still nursing too - weaned soon after). DH was home with our other children. She slept in her stroller on nights out, and was actually pretty attached to it, like it was a piece of home that came along with her to a strange place. She let everyone know "my stwolller" and cried when they took it to put under the plane on the way back.

And even though she was with me, she looked everywhere for DH for that week, and asked for him constantly. And when we got back, she wouldn't let him out of her sight and cried when he left the house. It was an eye-opener to me, how important both parents are in the life of their children.

I wouldn't leave a 12 month old behind, without either of us, for that long.

mommy3b2c

Mon, May 09 2016, 10:30 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

When DD was 18 months (not nursing) I left her for two weeks. I had a once in a lifetime opportunity to take a trip with my best friend, and she was covering all of the expenses except air fare and souvenirs.

When I got back, DD took one look at me and screamed. She was so mad, she couldn't stop crying for an hour, and refused to look at me. She didn't want me to hold her, and she kept this up for days! I never thought a baby would be capable of holding a grudge, never mind giving someone the "silent treatment" for days on end.

B'H, she doesn't remember any of it now, and when I tell her about it, she laughs and thinks it's funny that she was "punishing me". Just because DD is fine with it now, doesn't make me feel less guilty about it though. She may not remember, but I always will. Sad

When my oldest was 12 months, I left him by mil for 3 days. When I came back, he wouldn't look at me. Even when I held him, he refused to meet my gaze. He was not mad at my husband. Only at me.

observer

Mon, May 09 2016, 11:06 am

Nursing clean or having a great vacation? Both of those options are about YOU.

What about the baby? I would not leave a baby at that age, certainly not for that length of time.

Vacations are great, but week long vacations can be done when babies are older. Your kids are your primary responsibility at this stage. Take short get-aways now and save the longer ones for when kids are older. Or take them along.

observer

Mon, May 09 2016, 11:08 am

amother wrote:

The right time is when you don't have a little baby or toddler that will be greatly affected by it.

amother

Lilac

Mon, May 09 2016, 11:35 am

I left a 12 month old overnight just when I was weaning, she was happy to see me and refused to nurse anymore, refused to even try. Her way of letting me know what I did was NOT ok?
I left a 14 month old for 5 days as I had a quick oversees trip for a simcha on a crazy schedule and knew it would be worse to shlep a baby. He was totally fine.