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-> Halachic Questions and Discussions
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amother
Lime
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 Mon, May 09 2016, 3:03 pm
My very dear friend just lost a sibling. I want to go there tonight to be menachem avel, but usually I was told to wait three days. Does this apply to a very close friend? Also, would it be my job to bring hard boiled eggs, or can I assume someone else is taking care of that?
Anything else I should be aware of? Thanks for any info you can pass along to me.
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Ema of 5
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Mon, May 09 2016, 3:08 pm
| amother wrote: | My very dear friend just lost a sibling. I want to go there tonight to be menachem avel, but usually I was told to wait three days. Does this apply to a very close friend? Also, would it be my job to bring hard boiled eggs, or can I assume someone else is taking care of that?
Anything else I should be aware of? Thanks for any info you can pass along to me. |
Some people have the minhag to wait, some don't. My parents do, my in laws don't.
In terms of food, everything is probably being taken care of, but you can ask someone there who is NOt sitting shiva if there's anything you can bring later.
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amother
Linen
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Mon, May 09 2016, 3:11 pm
The hard boiled eggs are usually eaten right when the aveilim come back from the funeral.
There is usually someone close to the aveilim who takes charge of arranging meals for the shiva. You can try calling ahead to offer a meal or speak to someone in the shiva home once you're there.
If you have any pictures of the meis, you can bring those. Aveilim generally appreciate seeing pictures and hearing stories about their loved one who was niftar.
The night of the funeral is usually just for close family to come, unless you won't be able to pay a shiva visit the rest of the week. I've never heard of waiting 3 days.
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greenfire
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Mon, May 09 2016, 4:31 pm
no need for eggs unless you are escorting the avel back from the funeral
read her cues ~ as a close friend you might check in on her daily ... if she has a big family she might not need that [although families need breaks during this difficult time]
sorry for the loss
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greenfire
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Mon, May 09 2016, 4:34 pm
I secretly wanted ice cream - a friend brought me some
my sister's ocd friend needs to clean - she brought her a kool mop/broom to release her stress
bring your friend something just for her that will be comforting
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amother
Mistyrose
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Mon, May 09 2016, 5:42 pm
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If your friend is sitting shiva with other siblings, I would wait a day or two. (unless you can only go today) If she is alone, maybe go sooner.
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cm
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Mon, May 09 2016, 5:56 pm
I have never heard of waiting three days. A visit from a very dear friend would probably be appreciated on any day.
As noted above, eggs are customary after the funeral, and there is probably someone arranging meals. Our shul has a committee to do this. If you get there and there is no plan for meals, feel free to step in and bring something.
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