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Forum -> Working Women
Complications in pregnancy-do you tell your supervisor/boss?



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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Thu, May 12 2016, 4:37 pm
Thankfully, the beginning of my pregnancy went smoothly and I basically just showed up one day in maternity and let my employer know when I was due. It's been a few months since then and I'm having some issues, but I don't anticipate needing to stop working yet.

1 - I've been having much more frequent appointments and neither my regular OB nor my MF Dr. have flexible scheduling hours. Looking at the next month, I probably have a visit every week, and then possibly going to two times a week after that, all during work hours.

2 - I'll probably need to be delivered early - 2-4 weeks before my due-date.

I don't usually share things with my employer, so my preference would be just to not say anything. Is that OK and I can just assume that they will understand that in my situation it isn't optional, or do I need to give an explanation of the complications to maintain my status as a responsible employee? Do I need to give a revised estimate of when I'll be out, or can I just leave it as is, because it is always understood that early delivery is always a possibility?

Thanks!
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amother
White


 

Post Thu, May 12 2016, 4:57 pm
Unless they've never dealt with pregnant coworkers (or wives, for that matter) they know that a regular pregnancy does not entail that many appointments except toward the end. You don't have to describe the nature of the issues, just say there is a complication and it's going to require more than the usual oversight. I think you can leave out the delivery for now. If you get scheduled for a certain date, you can then tell them that you happen to have an exact date for delivery (hey, not every pregnant employee can do that, they might appreciate that you can).
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Thu, May 12 2016, 5:10 pm
I had complications in pregnancy too. I also struggled with this. Also, in the middle of my pregnancy, the department was re-arraanged and I had a totally new boss (2 bosses actually), which was kind of stressful because of the pregnancy and complications, but fine ocerall. About halfway through my pregnancy, I was at the doctor every week / every other week / sometimes a few times in one week for ultrasounds and other tests. They warned me that I would need to deliver early (somewhere between 34-40 weeks, depending on how things go, which was a pretty big range). From 34 weeks on, I had to be at the doctors every other DAY for monitoring etc. I ended up delivering at 37 weeks.

After I found out there were complications (around 22 weeks?), I told my boss that my pregnancy was classified as high-risk (bt didn't go into detail) and therefore I needed extra follow-up and would have to see doctors / undergo tests most weeks. He asked if everything was okay (in a way that seemed to be asking what the problem was, but of course he'd never ask that), and I told him things would probably be fine and thanks for the concern, and I might need to give birth a little early, and I would update him if needed.

At 34 weeks, when I had to be in for monitoring every other day, I told him that there was more concern, and that there were doing fetal monitoring / ultrasounds every other day (so I told him what type of appointments I had, but not why) and that I would basically miss half a day of work every other day, and that they might induce any day in the next 6 weeks. This was more tricky, because the nature of my work involves each person working with specific clients, and having specific externally set deadlines. So, every time I had to go in for monitoring (and each of those times they would decide on the spot whether to induce me or not), I would have to prepare for my boss a detailed explanation of what was happening with each project/client so he could take over (yeah, I did this basically every other day for 3 weeks) - this was quite stressful for my boss and myself, but was necessary. And at the end of every monitoring session, I'd send my boss a text or e-mail telling him that I was done and would be coming in. Because I wasn't around a lot and might give birth early, my boss assigned me a shadow, and she was updated regularly as well and helped do some of the work I missed while out all the time, and finished my project when I did indeed give birth early. My boss also would have assigned me more projects for those weeks before my due date when I might give birth - instead, he gave other people many of those projects and gave me only one time-dependent project and other things to do instead that were less time-dependent. During a monitoring session at 37 weeks, when they sent me to be induced, I told my boss I was going to the hospital for some more tests, and everything was fine, but he shouldn't expect to hear from me soon. My boss was glad that he always knew what was going on, and that we had a backup in place all the time - so my work was kept up the whole time, even though I was out a lot and when I left early. In short, my boss was really accommodating which made the whole thing so much less stressful for both him and me.

So, *moral of the story* - you do not have to tell your boss what the complications are, but it might be necessary to explain that you're classified as high risk and just need some extra follow up, so you'll have extra appointments and may go on maternity earlier than expected. I think this is the responsible thing to do, because otherwise your boss may be left in the lurch if you're work hours are less and/or if disappear one day to give birth when your boss wasn't expecting it.
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Miri7




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 12 2016, 5:26 pm
I had a similar issue. I did let my boss know that due to vague "concerns" about one pregnancy that I would have frequent doctor visits and what my appointment schedule would be like. I said something along the lines of "I wanted to let you know that there is a minor complication in my pregnancy, nothing major, but that I will need additional monitoring." I then gave them an idea of how many appts per week could be expected.

I think this is the responsible thing to do during pregnancy as an employee and it fosters trust and makes you appear responsible and on-to-of-it.

If the employer asks for more details, you can just reassure them that there is no immediate threat to you or the baby, but that you don't feel comfortable discussing personal medical details. That should end the conversation.

Also realize that your boss may say "oh, no, what's wrong?" without thinking about the fact that they are butting into your very private business. If they do that, try not to hold it against them. Once you gently but firmly enforce your boundaries they will probably realize that it was not an appropriate question even though motivated by genuine concern. Many folks are accustomed to the current atmosphere of over-sharing in our society.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Mon, May 16 2016, 10:32 am
I just can't do it. I just feel so uncomfortable even opening up a personal conversation. I feel like it just leaves me exposed to analysis of every step I take. I hate that!
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lfab




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 16 2016, 10:42 am
If you're really going to be missing that much work then I think you have an obligation to let your boss know. You don't need to get into specifics, just state that due to a complication you will require extra monitoring and that you will be missing more work than you would otherwise for extra doctor appointments. I also think it's the right thing to let them know that you will likely go out earlier than you originally expected as a result. Again, you don't need to give an exact date saying mid-august instead of mid-september (for example) is sufficient.
Also, if possible, try to schedule appointments first thing in the morning or toward the end of the workday so as to minimize the amount of time you need to miss.
B'shaa Tova.
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