Uh oh- how to begin earning income with no background

cnc

Thu, May 12 2016, 8:49 pm

amother wrote:

Because he needs to get used to working and taking responsibility. Have you seen the many dh won't take a job threads?

Good points but unfortunately if she's desperate financially then she needs to focus on that aspect.
She needs to be realistic. Childcare and housecare is also a responsibility (that he may have to take on while she works).

amother

Brunette

Thu, May 12 2016, 9:09 pm

doesn't seem like either of them have much earning potential or educational backround. so if youre going to put anyone inschool let it be him. I see so many couples shes a pa/ nurse/pharmacist while he worked a dead end job to put her through school and pitch in with child care and then shes stuck with a career and he his dead end matzav. A mans work largely defines him while women gain alot of their fulfillment from being a wife mother homemaker. ladies, put your husbands through college first!

causemommysaid

Thu, May 12 2016, 9:33 pm

Unless something drastically changed in your parents finances they can't just drop this on you and not give you time to come up with something. You have 4 kids and neither one of you has any schooling or work experience.

You need to sit down with your parents and come up with a 2-3 year plan to become financially independent. It will probably require you to both go to school full time or one of you run the house while the other goes to school overtime.

Find programs that can be done in 3 years including summers.

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, May 12 2016, 9:46 pm

I know this is hard to hear, but unfortunately you may not be able to be home for your kids at the beginning. Hopefully whatever field you choose will allow you to eventually be a bit choosier with your hours, but from my experience I had to work some crazy hours (such as when my kids came home from school until they were already in bed some days) but it eventually paid off and now I have a good full time day job. I'm not saying everyone has to do this at all, but you should keep your options open. Unfortunately this is the reality now for you (and many others) and things are going to be difficult. I hope you can find something that is ideal for you, but I just wanted to point out that sometimes as you build up your career, you have to do things that are not ideal.

finprof

Thu, May 12 2016, 10:14 pm

Op what do you want to do? What kind of business does DH want to start? Where are you located (roughly)? No one can give you a clear answer without knowing these basic facts and more. Also, your parents gave you a good start financially if not educationally so while you may be stressed please don't be mad at them. (I know you haven't said anything negative about them but I have read a few " its all their fault" posts recently so...)

cnc

Fri, May 13 2016, 7:36 am

amother wrote:

I don't see owning a $300k home free and clear and having 20k in the bank a point of desperation. Sell the house, down size into something smaller with lower up keep and invest in childcare. Both parents should be able to go off to school at least full time.

Well that depends on where she lives.
Because where I live one floor condos with 3 shoebox bedrooms are about 800k so the fact that she owes her 300k home tells us nothing about the size and if it's even possible to downgrade it. To sell and live in a rental defeats the purpose because then she has housing expenses.

If she's spending 5500 a month she has less than 4 months worth of savings with no income coming in. I would consider that a point of desperation. What happens after those 4 months ? (Although her budget seems very high to me.)

mommy3b2c

Fri, May 13 2016, 7:41 am

amother wrote:

My husband wants to start a business. Is that unrealistic?

Sounds like a bad idea. My husband is a brilliant business man, and still, his businesses almost went under several times. It's only through the clear hand of G-d that they are successful today. Your husband does not sound like he has the skills. Most people need unlimited financial backing in order to make a business successful. You also need to be willing to work 15 hour days including Sunday, and be willing to work all Friday until you light candles. He will never be home to help with bath time or bedtime. He will never be available to take the kids to an appointment...you get the idea.

causemommysaid

Fri, May 13 2016, 7:48 am

amother wrote:

Please don't listen to this advice. Confused

A mortgage free house is not something to get rid of.

if anything, downsize and rent your house out but DO NOT get rid of it.

(ETA: depending on where you live 300K is not all that big and expensive. It may be a very modest home for all we know.)

amother

Honeydew

Fri, May 13 2016, 8:05 am

causemommysaid wrote:

Please don't listen to this advice. Confused

If desperate for money to live on while in school, can take a home equity loan possibly, but would need to prove you can ay it back.
You're way way ahead of most people who need to start careers!
It may be a big shock being sprung on you like this, but having $20K in savings and a house free and clear is way way ahead of many people who've been working for years.
Since savings is not needed for a house, can use that to go to school and start living etc,

Your expenses may be lower when you're budgeting, $5500 without housing is a lot for a young family. I assume you pay full tuition, you would have to tell the schools that you're not in position anymore and you'd get a break. You may start realizing that many of your needs are luxury when there's no money for it.

I for one, was never supported or very wealthy but have had better times and worse times. I've had full time help to now having none at all because our expenses are higher in other areas and we realized that it's not as critical as water, heat, food, tuition etc.

Hatzlacha

Peanut2

Fri, May 13 2016, 9:24 am

OP:

Come up with a plan and show it to your parents. Instead of asking for more time I'd ask for them to give you less money but still help out. For example, if they'd pay tuition for you. That's something that grandparents can do but you would still be working towards financial independence.

That you don't have to pay rent or mortgage is huge, and if you can get your parents to pay tuition that's also big. First of all, you need to learn to budget. Even if your parents are sill paying for things, you need to work on it. The amount you spend is huge, and are you even sure it's correct? If you have credit cards your parents pay for you don't even know...

Create a budget and then see how you can lower it. People need budgets, whether they live on $40K or $400K.

Next, you need to figure out what you can do. Someone said maybe accounting or computer stuff for your husband. Maybe being an actuary if he is smart and not a people person? Those can all be well paying jobs but does your husband have the desire and talent and background education for them?

Your interests are pretty common. If you want to be home for your kids can you take in other kids and watch over them? Could you run a quality playgroup? I know women who are just amazing at that, no degree, but they read about it and are just good at this.

DO either one of you have any particular skills or interests that are more specific?

Best of luck. I think you will be fine. And I wouldn't start looking at home equity loans or selling your house. You are so NOT at that point. Talk to your parents, get a plan. If your house is paid for you should be able to cut costs (even drastically) and figure out how to get the jobs and training you need. Best of luck! Taking out a loan is not a good idea for people who have never budgeted and your home can be a place where you earn money.

sky

Fri, May 13 2016, 9:39 am

Accounting and software are jobs that do work well for people after sitting and learning. But it takes time. I"ve seen Lakewood mentioned a few times, don't know if you are there. But PCS may be helpful. I think they give courses in computers.

I don't know what you parent's financial situation is. do they want you to be self sufficient because they want that or because they canNOT help you anymore.

If is the first one sit down with them and see if they can help you be self sufficient.
Would your DH be able to manage real estate. Would your parent's want to invest in that, or a different type of business. If they would invest those may be viable options.

sneakermom

Fri, May 13 2016, 9:42 am

Don't panic.
Don't give up your house!

Negotiate with your parents. That they support you fully while your husband learns a trade. (He does sound like an intellectual. So accounting, PA, programming etc all sound like good options)

Ask of they would agree to pay tuition after they cut support.

This way you might still be able to be home with the kids. As it sounds like something you really want.

saw50st8

Fri, May 13 2016, 9:53 am

OP, $5500 after taxes is a lot of money to earn even with a degree. You both need to decide what your priorities are.

If you both agree that your priority is for you to be home, you may want to start babysitting in your home. It allows you to be home with your kids and available, but you would have more kids to watch. If you take a few kids into your home, you can pull in some nice money.

Your husband will need to realize that jobs require interviewing and people skills. In addition to technical training, he should definitely take some presentation and interview skills classes. He needs to get comfortable with interacting with the outside world. It's much harder to get a job when you have trouble conversing with the people around you. I recently interviewed a yeshiva student. He did great on the interview even though 3 women were interviewing him (in a technical field - it's getting way more diverse).

If he's good with computers and science, he should consider Computer science, Computer Engineering or Electrical Engineering. At least with engineering, it's generally a 4 year bachelors and then you can get a job (no masters required). If you live in Lakewood, Rutgers has a good, solid engineering program and won't be too expensive.

Once you come up with a plan, talk to your parents about what they can continue to offer in the interim. But come with a plan so that they feel respected. Also, make sure to thank them and show appreciation for the years they have given you the freedom to be home and have your husband learn. Make sure to expand on the appreciation you have and do not bring any negativity to the conversation. If they say we are cutting you off tomorrow, make sure to thank them.