Being true to oneself- a western thing? s/o of bechira post

yo'ma

Wed, May 18 2016, 7:45 am

Is it a western veiwpoint that one has to be true to oneself, that one has to do what's good for them, what's in their heart or feelings? Is it a new thing, western thing? In a way that it's good for me, forget about g-d. What do you think?

Am I clear or at least do you get what I'm trying to ask?

busymom

Wed, May 18 2016, 7:54 am

It's not always a contradiction. Not always is it a choice between "what's good for me" and "what Hashem wants."
A person may decide to pursue a career that his/her parents aren't supportive of yet there's nothing wrong with it as far as Yiddishkeit is concerned.
As with everything in life, there needs to be balance. Yes, I do see what you mean that in some Western cultures ppl take this to an extreme. In their desire to be true to themselves, they become very selfish ppl who hurt those close to them. Yet it is healthy to live an authentic life.
"Balance, my dear," as someone in history probably said at one point or another. Wink

5mom

Wed, May 18 2016, 7:59 am

As busymom said, something can be "good for me" without the "forget about God" part. Sometimes we have to subordinate our wishes to Hashem's commands, but that's not the same as obliterating our individuality.

bigsis144

Wed, May 18 2016, 8:10 am

I definitely think there is a stronger emphasis on individualism in Western culture. Many Eastern cultures (at least before American culture began to affect pretty much everyone on the planet) have an emphasis on filial duty, respect for one's elders, and a certain emphasis on conformity.

East: "The nail that sticks up must be hammered down."
vs.
West: "The squeaky wheel gets the grease."

--

Another thought: modernity in general allows for people to even have self-actualization as a goal. In Maslow's hierarchy of needs, things like survival, safety and belonging to a group are at the base of the pyramid. In time periods where people had to band together simply to make it through the winter or stand against bands of marauding invaders, things like tribal identity, religion, patriotism etc. had major benefits.

Over the last few centuries (starting with the Renaissance/Enlightenment, maybe? 'twas Shakespeare who penned the words "to thine own self be true"), we've been able to stop scrabbling for survival and start thinking about personal goals. In the past few DECADES I think it's ballooned exponentially.

What that means in terms of relating to Hashem I think can vary from person to person.

5mom

Wed, May 18 2016, 11:08 am

yo'ma wrote:

I just saw this:

Two rules to live by. If it makes you happy, do it. If it doesn't, don't.

Huh? Now is that a western thinking?

If those are your only rules, that's not Jewish. But I think 99% percent of humanity knows that sometimes you have to restrain yourself for one reason or another. For Jews, the reason is that we are ovdei Hashem.

PAMOM

Wed, May 18 2016, 12:47 pm

I don't see the essential contradiction between being "true" to yourself and recognizing that we were created b'tzelem elokim. Neither necessarily implies or allows "anything goes" or "if it feels good, do it." Too many people simply look for excuses to do whatever they want without any consideration of context or ethics.