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Forum
-> Fashion and Beauty
amother
Brown
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Thu, May 19 2016, 7:07 pm
Why do woman feel the intrinsic need to be beautiful? [Especially to enhance their natural beauty?] Are we so desperate for love and think that is the only way to get it? Are we so zexualized that we think our worth is dependent on our zexual appeal? If we lived in an Island by ourselves would we still be messing with our eyebrows and hair? I went to an all girls school, so I know it can't be ONLY the men; woman seem to care as much or more about their friend's opinions. Why do woman think beautiful people have a better life, are more worthy, should be respected? Do they think that if they are friends with someone beautiful then people will like them more? Why the crazy obsession throughout all the generations?
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cnc
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Thu, May 19 2016, 7:10 pm
Maybe for themselves?
I wax my eyebrows so I should feel like a mensch, not for other people's approval.
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ectomorph
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Thu, May 19 2016, 7:15 pm
I've always liked looking pretty, even when I was very little. I don't think it has to do with se-xualization.
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asmileaday
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Thu, May 19 2016, 7:16 pm
It's the way Hashem made us. It's inborn. Been like that forever.
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black sheep
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Thu, May 19 2016, 7:20 pm
amother wrote: | Why do woman feel the intrinsic need to be beautiful? [Especially to enhance their natural beauty?] Are we so desperate for love and think that is the only way to get it? Are we so zexualized that we think our worth is dependent on our zexual appeal? If we lived in an Island by ourselves would we still be messing with our eyebrows and hair? I went to an all girls school, so I know it can't be ONLY the men; woman seem to care as much or more about their friend's opinions. Why do woman think beautiful people have a better life, are more worthy, should be respected? Do they think that if they are friends with someone beautiful then people will like them more? Why the crazy obsession throughout all the generations? |
actually, being accepted and loved is indeed often connected with being beautiful, or at least pretty and presentable.
unattractive women who don't groom and who dress shlumpy are often not as respected even among their own friends and family.
and obviously men (husbands and suitors) are attracted to beauty.
so while I wouldn't go so far to call it a crazy obsession, I would say that women want to feel presentable and even beautiful to be respected and loved, and to respect and love themselves.
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amother
Forestgreen
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Thu, May 19 2016, 7:32 pm
I don't know, but earlier tonight when I ran out to the grocery store with ugg slippers and a shleppy maxi skirt and a hoodie and a hat and no makeup, I wondered to myself why other women care so much and why I just don't give a darn. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I should care more. It all seems like such a waste of time though...uncomfortable too.
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amother
Sapphire
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Thu, May 19 2016, 7:46 pm
amother wrote: | I don't know, but earlier tonight when I ran out to the grocery store with ugg slippers and a shleppy maxi skirt and a hoodie and a hat and no makeup, I wondered to myself why other women care so much and why I just don't give a darn. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I should care more. It all seems like such a waste of time though...uncomfortable too. |
Lucky you! You are the envy of lots of women.... Believe me many women would like to have your confidence.
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observer
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Thu, May 19 2016, 7:52 pm
It's the way Hashem made women. You often see even 2 year old girls who are so into how pretty they look, it's the way Hashem made us.
Why are women created with that intrinsic need? I do think it has a lot to do with us beautifying ourselves for our husbands.
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amother
Jade
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Thu, May 19 2016, 7:52 pm
I think woman have a need to be admired. Men on the other hand have the need to be respected.
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amother
Forestgreen
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Thu, May 19 2016, 7:53 pm
amother wrote: | Lucky you! You are the envy of lots of women.... Believe me many women would like to have your confidence. |
Thanks. It's partly confidence, but it's really a combination of other factors, like wanting to be comfortable, and not wanting to attract attention, and not having patience to dress up.
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bigsis144
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Thu, May 19 2016, 8:06 pm
Not all women feel an intrinsic need to be pretty, but all women are socialized to judge our worth by our beauty from a VERY VERY young age.
And all people have an intrinsic need for validation of their worth.
Some women have an intrinsic desire to use their clothes, makeup or even their bodily fitness as a form of personal expression.
Some women couldn't care less about that and prefer comfort or adhering to religious dictates to style.
Many women fall somewhere between those extremes.
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amother
Floralwhite
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Thu, May 19 2016, 8:17 pm
Yesh v'Yesh.
I care a lot more about how I look and how I dress than my husband, but my FIL cared way more than my MIL.
Its not always a male/female thing. My FIL was a comfortable man who only wore the most expensive clothing (silk shirts, not only silk ties, etc) and my MIL wore dresses from the $10 store. She always thought women who spend and looked very put together (who her husband admired) didnt look any better than her. She never wore makeup, she didnt care about her weight or clothing, and I think their marriage might have been a lot better if she would have cared.
These days many who have some extra time and taste can look like theyre living a caviar life, on a tuna fish budget.
At the end of the day, if the husband cares, possibly leading to roving eyes (not even ch"v affairs), Shalom Bayis is a good enough reason.
If the husband doesnt care, youre free to do as you please.
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Ritty
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Thu, May 19 2016, 8:18 pm
It's like asking why is the sky blue? We were born like that.
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amother
Seagreen
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Thu, May 19 2016, 8:20 pm
Ritty wrote: | It's like asking why is the sky blue? We were born like that. |
I totally do not agree with that. I think we were conditioned to be like that.
JMO.
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amother
Plum
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Thu, May 19 2016, 8:42 pm
I agree that women are socialized to care about looking beautiful and are rewarded when they do (through compliments, more respect, attention etc.) and that it's not really an intrinsic need. both men and women want to look somewhat nice,fit and healthy because it makes us feel good about ourselves. What I don't understand and was actually thinking about it today is a compulsion to post pictures of your hair, makeup, clothes and body constantly and consistently on social media. I don't get it and never felt a desire to do it no matter how beautiful I thought I was. Why do people feel a need to do that? (this excludes models or people who are in the hair and makeup industry. I understand why someone would do it for business and marketing).
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Raisin
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Fri, May 20 2016, 1:43 am
its partly biological. In order to populate the world, men need to be attracted to fertile women. Fertile women are usually in pretty good shape body wise, and young. Hence the emphasis on looking "young". In order to attract a spouse, women need to look good.
Likewise men who are tall and strong are considered attractive spouses, since they will likely to a good job of taking care of their families.
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cm
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Fri, May 20 2016, 3:26 am
Conformity. Many things women do, and care deeply about, are for the approval of other women.
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pointyshoes
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Fri, May 20 2016, 3:29 am
Women were created to appreciate beauty. There is a source for this but I dont remember it. All I can say is: its definitely intrinsic and G-d make us like that deliberately
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