Would you allow your daughter to be a cheerleader

amother

Olive

Mon, May 23 2016, 10:39 pm

My DD who is 7 wants to chearlead for a boys football team. I feel conflicted. They would allow her to wear a shirt under the uniform and the skirt is a decent length but I am concerned about a few things
1. the girls she would be "hanging around with" during practice. There would be no other frum girls and some of the girls are a few years older so who knows what they talk about
2. Though I'm sure she doesn't see it like this it seems like such a zexualized sport

The part I like is that she would be exercising, it's something she has asked me to do for a few years (previously I didn't allow it because she was too young), it would keep her busy while her brother played football (we let him be on a non frum team...).

Wondering what you ladies think??

amother

Emerald

Mon, May 23 2016, 10:54 pm

I'd be very torn - on the one hand, she's excited and it is good exercise.

On the other hand, as you said, it is a horribly sexualized position. Even with a modest uniform, it's just not a wholesome activity.

SRS

Mon, May 23 2016, 10:58 pm

Of course cheerleading is a sport. The tumbling, the stunting. I think the injury rate is worse than football.

OP, what are the alternatives that your daughter might take to? Ballet? Ice skating?

loveandpeace

Mon, May 23 2016, 11:32 pm

I share your concerns. I would not allow my sweet little girl. You say that they would allow her to wear a skirt but how comfortable will she be with that

WhatFor

Tue, May 24 2016, 12:12 am

I'd be most concerned about the fact that it would teach my daughter that the role of a woman is standing on the sidelines, cheering on a man. I'd sooner send her to proper dance classes/ice skating/gymnastics/ or a girl's football team, if they have one.
Of course I understand why your little girl would want to be a part of it, but I don't understand how, in 2016, "cheerleading" is still a thing.

oliveoil

Tue, May 24 2016, 12:48 am

WhatFor wrote:

Totally agree. Well said.

amother

Magenta

Tue, May 24 2016, 8:47 am

I would allow her to do it if that is her interest because denying it will just lead to her being frustrated and angry and she might rebel against being religious altogether. However, I would talk to her about boundaries, about how she is not in control over what the boys do and they have to learn how to control themselves rather than the girls having to hide who they are to help the boys with their teivas. This is a perfect example of girls taking control over their own bodies and not allowing themselves to be bullied into silenced to help the boys control themselves and your daughter could do the same thing with cheerleading. I would also ask her if she wants to play sports herself which is perfectly acceptable. And if you are really uncomfortable about it then perhaps find a cheerleading squad that cheers for a girls team so that she is surrounded by girls only (is there such a thing?). Good luck!

ahuva06

Tue, May 24 2016, 9:04 am

amother wrote:

I would allow her to do it if that is her interest because denying it will just lead to her being frustrated and angry and she might rebel against being religious altogether.

She's 7 years old. It's okay for a child to be told no. In fact, it's good for a child to be told no every now and then. Especially with such a valid reason for the no..

amother

Magenta

Tue, May 24 2016, 9:20 am

becca wrote:

She's 7 years old. It's okay for a child to be told no. In fact, it's good for a child to be told no every now and then. Especially with such a valid reason for the no..

Yes, she is 7 years old. I am sure she hears no plenty of times and can handle it. But for this, I disagree because she has no obligations to tznius yet so that should not be a reason for denying her to do what she wants. She might not even end up liking it and will quit after a year but if you hold her back then she will resent it forever. As for the other girls and boys, like I said, she can learn how to set boundaries with them so that what they say and/or do does not effect her in the long run. Her brother managed just fine on his secular sports team, why would she not be able to do the same thing? Because she is a girl, right? Is that fair to you? Is that the message you want to send to a 7 year old girl, that boys can handle anything but girls can't? Why?

amother

Fuchsia

Tue, May 24 2016, 9:22 am

becca wrote:

She's 7 years old. It's okay for a child to be told no. In fact, it's good for a child to be told no every now and then. Especially with such a valid reason for the no..

Cannot like this enough

SRS

Tue, May 24 2016, 9:27 am

What in the world is the hug for on my post? That cheer-leading is a bonifide sport? That it has a high injury rate? Or that there are other alternatives? The hugging over here gets ridiculous.

OP, what other sports or arts is your daughter interested in? I think you can find an alternative that would be more comfortable for you and your daughter.

amother

Cerise

Tue, May 24 2016, 9:56 am

No, for all the reasons mentioned above. Also, not many people are aware of this, but cheerleading is even more dangerous than football. Many parents these days are thinking twice about letting their kids play football, due to new knowledge about the risks of concussions. The NFL is paying a massive settlement to former players for concealing knowledge that they had about those risks. More and better precautions are being taken with kids because of what we know now. Cheering is worse and they're not taking precautions because there isn't the same level of awareness yet. So no way. Better to sign her up for a dance class.
ETA you can use the safety reasoning if you don't want to use religious reasoning.

PinkFridge

Tue, May 24 2016, 10:05 am

I don't think you have to worry about injuries yet. I just don't like the idea, for all the frum reasons and the not frum reasons. You want to fill a void, but you don't just pick any opportunity.

And if you find something for her to do that wouldn't work for your son, and he might be bored when it's her turn, that's okay.

I grew up with a grandfather who loved sports, baseball in particular. I guess had he liked football I might have developed an appreciation for it. But I really don't like football. (You can read Gordon Korman's Pop, but I was already not thrilled with it.) I do appreciate that on this level, it's probably safe.

amother

Blue

Tue, May 24 2016, 11:41 am

I find it hard to see this as a serious question.

It sounds like your DD will be the only girl that dresses appropriately as you said that they "allowed" her to wear her shirt.
If that is correct, do you honestly think that your daughter will want to continue dressing tznius after being part of this?

I can guarantee you that within a month she will decide that she wants to dress the same as the rest of the girls.

This is aside from the hard time Im having understanding why you would allow your kids to be on a non frum football team.

suzyq

Tue, May 24 2016, 12:08 pm

WhatFor wrote:

This was put so well I had to do more than like it. I also can not believe that any self-respecting female can stand on the sidelines and cheer on a men's team these days. If she is really interested in something like cheerleading, I think gymnastics or dance would be an excellent substitute, and would not have the same negative social connotations. I don't have girls, but if I did, I could never endorse such an activity for them.

PinkFridge

Tue, May 24 2016, 12:22 pm

amother wrote:

I'm having issue with a frum football team, but I know people who do follow people, kind, gentle, shirt off the back sincere frum people, so I'll be dlkz ;-)

momofone613

Tue, May 24 2016, 12:30 pm

Do they have an all girls, frum, gymnastics class by u? Enroll her in that. It has similar things to cheerleading ... and no, I would not let my daughter cheerlead.