Man Verbally attacked a mother for breastfeeding in Target

pointyshoes

Thu, Jun 16 2016, 11:45 am

Faigy86 wrote:

I'm not sure where you are getting that from. a breast is an organ of nurture. Just because as a society, we have sxualized it, why does that mean it is primarily a zxual organ?

Not discussing tznius, because all of a woman's body is erva, but the concept of nursing being sxualized and therefore marginalized is odd.

There's s-xual and sensual. Breasts are highly sensual.

pond user

Thu, Jun 16 2016, 12:28 pm

Good for all you mama's who managed to successfully cover yourselves when feeding your baby! (Note sarcasm)

Let me tell you about MY baby! She was a screamer from day 1. She had to nurse EVERY 2 hours from birth until 9 months old. If I attempted to use ANY cover up at all she pulled away and screamed with fury.

I chose not to segregate myself in my home for 9 months. I chose to be able to go where I wanted with my baby in tow. I chose to continue breastfeeding with all the difficulty that came along with that. When there were places that had mother and baby nursing rooms you bet I used them. I am lucky enough to live in a country where shopping malls and public spaces cater for the mother and baby's needs with comfortable couches and private spaces.

And you know what? When there were no such rooms available you better bet I fed my baby anyway. No I will not sit in a disgusting public bathroom to nurse my little one just incase someone was uncomfortable that my baby was hungry at the park etc. Do you ask everyone who makes you uncomfortable to eat in public bathrooms? Like the elderly who dribble?

This judgemental society on how we raise, feed, bathe, care for and educate our children has to stop! There isn't a single woman I know who uncovers her actual nipples to feed-what is shown is mostly covered by the baby's head so get over it. It's shocking the attitude that western women have towards breastfeeding feeding, particularly in America.

Rant over

Faigy86

Thu, Jun 16 2016, 12:51 pm

pointyshoes wrote:

Does it matter who decided it? I know that some people will say that in Africa, its completely normal for women to go topless and its just our modern day/western society that has created a sensualized image of breasts.
However, the fact remains that in the society that we live in, they are sensualized and that ain't going away.

I disagree. I think that if someone sees a women breastfeeding as sensual or zxual, there is something wrong with them, not with the mom.

Chana Miriam S

Thu, Jun 16 2016, 1:00 pm

[quote="sourstix"]I am not even discussing tznius. its self respect. why doesnt she have some self respect to keep her body to herself. its basic self respect. people also dont think how others feel they just do what they want. . im just wondering what else they think is ok for others to see. the mans behavior is certainly not ok.

problem is feminism tells you to be proud but forgets to tell you you have dignity and self respect[/quote

You are mistaken. There is nothing inherently untznius about nursing in public.. I successfully breastfed in public for SIX YEARS, never once, ever showing any skin. I respect myself and my baby and don't really care what other people think, but I was kicked out of an athletic store once for nursing, in my sling, not showing anything. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT GUY WOULD HAVE HAD TO LOOK AT MY CHEST TO SEE ANYTHING? Up close. In MY FACE. And yet I was kicked out for the idea of breastfeeding.

Miri7

Thu, Jun 16 2016, 1:02 pm

pond user wrote:

THIS!!

ETA: I hope that man is banned from Target for harassing this woman who had every right to be there and nurse her baby!

The Happy Wife

Thu, Jun 16 2016, 1:17 pm

pond user wrote:

Yes, not all babies will nurse with covers but it can still be done without showing much at all. Some women do bare all when nursing and I really don't understand why that's necessary or appropriate. And yes, I have seen people completely show everything when nursing. So unnecessary.

I also nurse where I need to and not in a bathroom.

But you know urinating is also perfectly natural and not a shameful thing. Why do we only do it in private? I think there is dignity and modesty in being private and discreet with some thing. That doesn't mean not feeding a baby when needed it just means doing it in a dignified manner.

happybeingamom

Thu, Jun 16 2016, 2:18 pm

The Happy Wife wrote:

Seriously!

I have found that most women are discreet but public places usually don't have private rooms.

If that guy did not like it he was free to walk away, Target is not a prison.

If a mother has to go constantly in hiding to feed her baby, most mothers will not be able to nurse their baby for a year which is good for their health. We should worry more about children's nutrition. Children's nutrition is more important then some skin which in this society we see all the time anyway (how many belly buttons do I really need to see, Topless men etc).

It is so simple to look away when a mother nurses there should be no problem.

I have to add what does feminism have to do with breast feeding?

FranticFrummie

Thu, Jun 16 2016, 2:24 pm

happybeingamom wrote:

Totally agreed. I was also a screamer who refused to be covered. I detested it, and women's clothes in 1965 were not so flexible as they are now. My poor mom did not leave the house for 18 months, because she had no way to nurse me in public. When she needed a good guilt trip, she loved to remind me of that. Rolling Eyes

(Luckily, my sister was a lot more placid and compliant.)

Do we really want to go back to that era? Judging by many of the reactions in this threat, I keep wanting to check my calendar, and see what century some of us are living in.

Laiya

Thu, Jun 16 2016, 2:41 pm

I saw a video once (wish I could find the link)

One woman nursed her baby in public, without being particularly exposed, and another woman, a few feet away, wore very low cut, revealing tops.

Guess what. The woman with the low-cut tops got what you would expect--men asking her for her number, calling her beautiful, asking if they could join her at her table. Grins and winks.

The nursing mom....not so much.

That demonstrates that what bothers people about seeing a woman nurse her baby really doesn't have much to do with seeing her body.

And if it was just about seeing skin, they wouldn't call a nursing mom "disgusting".

I think it's not about her body at all, it's about being nurturing. Breastfeeding represents nurturing (which it is, literally, as well as emotionally)

People missed out on that, and when they see a woman acting maternal to a baby, it brings up feelings in them that they can't handle.

little_mage

Thu, Jun 16 2016, 2:58 pm

I didn't watch the video, but am I the only one who is disturbed that the writing on it says "funny?"

I've never used a cover (a blanket a couple of times, but not consistently). Personally, I can be a lot more discreet pulling my shirt up, with a nursing tank on, then with one of those big flowered things. That just screams, "I'm nursing over here! Hi, exposed breast!" to me. I realize a lot of women like them, and if you want to use it, that's fine. But I won't. Nursing rooms are fine and dandy until you have an older kid-for example, at my shul we have a nursing room. It's a converted broom closet. I couldn't keep my son from driving both of us crazy if I tried to nurse my daughter in there.

As far as exposing everything, I've been lucky in that I haven't had a lot of engorgement and leakage problems. However, when my kids were newborns, there were at least a couple of times when I would start leaking from the other breast. At that point, I'd pull down both sides of my shirt to keep things clean. Obviously, I wouldn't do that out in public or in front of people other then my husband, but if you see a woman like that, she may have a reason for doing so.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Jun 16 2016, 3:07 pm

Laiya wrote:

I've seen that video, it is excellent. The nursing women got a LOT of verbal abuse, and some of it was extremely nasty. No one had a problem with cute girls in plunging necklines, though.

I think men just can't stand the idea that someone else is getting a breast, and they're not. They're jealous but they can't deal with it, so they sublimate and call it disgust instead.

water_bear88

Thu, Jun 16 2016, 3:16 pm

I'm curious as to the consistency of posters on this thread. I nurse in public when necessary- I do my best to cover up, I'll happily sit in the nursing room at the mall (less distracting for an older baby, in any case), if I'm out somewhere without a nursing room I'll sit on the side. B"H I haven't been confronted by anyone, including in dati areas; I think Americans are more generally perverted than Israelis in this aspect.

I also look for somewhere discreet, preferably a bathroom, to change diapers. Eating has no place in the bathroom, exposed urine and feces have no place in the living room/eating area. To those claiming nursing is somehow similar to urination, where are you willing to change a diaper? (Obviously, sometimes you're outside at a park or such and it needs to happen on a bench or in the car, and I've also urinated outside on hikes. You can be discreet about bathroom functions. Just don't ask me to feed my baby where you defecate nor expose me to your baby's defecation while I'm eating.)