Flatbush: Recommendations Please!

amother

Fuchsia

Sat, Jun 18 2016, 7:30 pm

For various reasons, we may end up needing to live in Flatbush next year.

We are in our late 20s w/ toddlers. My husband went to YU but we identify at the right of that spectrum. Not really yeshivish (though my husband did spend 2 years in kollel), but not modern either. Black hat for him, tights always for me, etc. I did not grow up religious and didn't go to the "right" schools, seminary, camps, etc. I have an advanced degree and plan on pursuing more.

I've only visited Flatbush (love the shopping!) but never spent real time there. I worry, based on stereotypes and my own intimidation about the move, that we'd be complete outcasts. Please tell me this isn't true (or give your honest opinion if it is) and recommend a block or shul community you think would be good for us.

Thanks!

amother

Sapphire

Sat, Jun 18 2016, 7:58 pm

I live in flatbush and have to say that your assumptions are incorrect. For better or worse flatbush is not a community and ppl dont notice or care about you. Walk around with your knees and hair half uncovered or have your husband sport beard and peyos you may live on my block and I dont.say a word to you, its not that im not friendly or disapprove of you I simply never noticed you. There are all types of ppl here and your crowd definitely.exsists but as a newcomer u have to make an effort to make friends, ppl will not notice a new face on the block.

amother

Amber

Sat, Jun 18 2016, 8:06 pm

amother wrote:

So her assumptions are correct. You say you won't say a word for her and it will take an effort to make friends,

amother

Sapphire

Sat, Jun 18 2016, 8:15 pm

Amber you missed my point. She wanted to know if shell be an outcast or not. 100 percent she wouldnt because there are no rules or right or wrong school or camps to go to. I only wouldnt talk to her cuz odds are id never know she.exsisted. it can definitely be hard to break in here but that is because there is no community here and with multi family houses.and buildings there can be hundreds of frum families on a block and a newcomer will not be noticed - its not that we are judgemental. Op yes I live in a building yes I wish I knew more ppl. My advice for you as far as meeting new ppl is to.stick to a very frum building or take a floor in a two family house.

amother

Taupe

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 1:07 pm

I wouldn't worry about being an outcast.In fact one of the things I miss the most about Flatbush after moving out of town is that in Flatbush everyone minds their business.I felt far less pressure to conform there. There was also a larger variety of shuls to chose from.

Making friends however may be harder.Does the reason you have to move to Flatbush give you a social connection?

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 7:34 pm

amother wrote:

OP, your background sounds similar to mine. I lived in Flatbush for a number of years, and I agree very much with the post I quoted here. I found that there were NOT a lot of people coming from where I was. However, in spite of that, I definitely never felt at all like an outcast. People were very accepting and did not view me as different from them, even though in reality I had a very different type of upbringing and educational path (definitely not Bais Yaakov). As the last poster wrote, there are many types there and no one way that people are expected to be.

On the other hand, it is not necessarily an easy place to make friends because it is so big and everyone does their own thing. What helped me was living in a building with many frum families. I became good friends with many of them. If you are outgoing and will put in the effort to meet people (introduce yourself to people on your block, send your kids to playgroup and befriend other mothers, go to the park and strike up conversations, etc.), I think you will find people welcoming and that they view you as similar to them even if you come from a different background.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 9:11 pm

Agree with other posters that there is no type. Be friendly and people will be friendly back. On my block there are yeshivish, more modern, sfardi, traditional, non Jews, and everything in between. Anyone who chooses to be friendly is included in the conversation. There are also people living on my block for years that I've never seen before.