When/how to tell others suffering infertility I'm pregnant.

notshanarishona

Tue, Jun 21 2016, 7:45 pm

Any time after you are obviously showing is nice and appropriate to tell someone who may be sensitive to finding out.

Unless you carry very small, do you really think you were not showing until now? It's very rare for people not to be showing until they are starting their 8th month.
It's only a secret when no one can see it from looking at you.

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Jun 21 2016, 8:27 pm

I'm not sure why this only pertains to secondary infertility.. But as someone still going through primary infertility, I strongly recommend you telling your friend going through infertility your news right before or right when you are announcing. How to say it is a whole different story. The worst thing is to A.) Hear it from someone else who knows and B.) Happen to see you one day in maternity.
Even those who go through infertility should tell their infertile friends..I wasn't told by someone who I knew went through infertility and she knew I was going through the same thing and happened to see her one day very very pregnant... I pretended I didn't see and walked the other direction.

amother

Magenta

Tue, Jun 21 2016, 8:28 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

I Saw my siblings pesach and they didn't realize, funny thing is I was wearing maternity and gained 30 pounds.

I don't see her so I never mentioned it.. But you are right earlier would have been better.

amother

Magenta

Tue, Jun 21 2016, 8:30 pm

amother wrote:

I wrote both infertility and secondary infertility.

And I 100% agree I told people right away by my first because it's so painful to keep talking and confiding in someone and then to find out they were pregnant it happened to me I felt soooo stupid when they showed up to the next Simcha in maternity.

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Jun 21 2016, 8:33 pm

I didn't have children for many years. As it happens, shortly before I became pregnant, both my cousin and my good friend were expecting twins. The friend didn't know how to tell me, so she didn't and when I heard I felt much worse than when my cousin very matter of factly told me the news. Tell her matter of factly and then take her lead.

amother

Magenta

Tue, Jun 21 2016, 8:42 pm

amother wrote:

I appreciate your response and I agree im surprised some people feel it's better not to tell by looking at the poll results. Seems like the overall people would rather be told though.

amother

Denim

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 8:16 am

In general, I much prefer being told be email so I can react in private. It is better if the email is not specifically about the pregnancy but predominantly about other topics. This is why email is better than text or WhatsApp, because it's difficult not to make the message specifically about the pregnancy that way.

sourstix

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 9:02 am

Please please please don't do text or email! It's so cold and heartless. If I your close enough pickup the phone have a chat and throw it in the conversation if not then don't think to much about it. How often do u even talk to her. Doesn't sound like a very close relationship. Just because you know she is in a lot of pain doesn't make u a close relationship

sourstix

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 9:08 am

I'm trying to understand why people are telling her to tell anything she doesn't have a close relationship with her why does she need to tell her anything? Why does everyone think she's obligated to someone she isn't telling us is that close to her. I just don't get it. Suppose you didn't know her IF issue would you even consider her a friend? I think that would give you a clue as how important this would b