Kids waking each other up. Can't deal anymore!

amother

Firebrick

Tue, Jun 21 2016, 2:13 pm

Up until two weeks ago I thanked hashed daily for our night routine. My kids (4 and 2) went to sleep nicely every night : listened to me when I told them to go to bed and then fell asleep right away.
Lately my 2yo discovered he could climbe out of him crib and now every night when they go to sleep they run out of their beds. It's really cute but...I can't handle this anymore.
I tried putting them to sleep at different hours. So one runs away from me to their room and they run out again...I've tried everything- tellign them stories, screaming, talking, punishing, slapping...nothing works. It's been two weeks and I'm going nuts!
What do I do?

BTW I actually give them the punishments that I threaten and DS4 (DS2 is too young really) promises to be better and I don't give in but it doesn't work...they don't care. what do I do???Help me before I lose my sanity! I have a NB at home...help!

amother

Vermilion

Tue, Jun 21 2016, 2:28 pm

omg I actually thought I wrote this post. except mine are even younger so I cant punish. my 2 yr old just discoverd he can climb out and goes and climbs into my one yr olds crib!! I was at my wits end because he also then started climbing out in the middle of the night or really early in the morning.

I just tried something new 2 nights ago and so far it worked. so he sleeps in a full size crib that has a head board on one of the sides - you know what style I mean? so basically I turned the higher side away from the wall so hes sort of locked in now. on one side is the wall and the other side is the high side. so far he hasnt figured out how to climb out! I am so much less tired now and bedtime is only taking the 15 minutes it used to!

amother

Firebrick

Tue, Jun 21 2016, 2:53 pm

amother wrote:

That is brilliant . I wish my DS2's crib was like this!!

TeachersNotebook

Tue, Jun 21 2016, 10:35 pm

Heidi, that was really uncalled for. She asked for help because she knows what she is doing is not working, and all you did was attack her. Sad

OP, I'm also at my wits' end because my 2yo has been refusing to stay in bed while I try to put my 6mo to sleep, and both their noises keep the other one up. It's the most frustrating cycle!!! My 2yo learned how to climb out of her crib over Pesach, and by the time I heard about the "turn around the crib" trick, I thought it was too late to take away her freedom now. Just last night I started something- which hasn't worked yet- but I'm hoping with time it will. I took a picture of DD at each stage of her bedtime routine- eating dinner, reading a story, at the changing table, etc., and then hung up the timeline on her wall at her eye level. Now as we do the routine, we keep going back to the timeline to find out what's next. She loves seeing herself in the pictures, and I'm hoping this strategy will build up an expectation in her of what she's supposed to do (and where she's supposed to be!).

Following now for any other good ideas...

PassionFruit

Tue, Jun 21 2016, 10:39 pm

What worked for me was turning out the lights and sitting in the room singing until they were asleep. The rule was, if they get out of bed, I go out and close the door (they were scared of the dark), so they stayed in bed. Bedtime took longer, but there was no yelling and it was much more plesent for all of us. Hugs to you, this can be really taxing, especially with a newborn!!

amother

Firebrick

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 1:11 am

funnyface wrote:

I did that with my 4yo when he was younger but he isn't scared of the dark anymore so it doesn't work ... I tried sitting with them but they still talk and make noise unless I raise my voice and eve then...
It was out of control at night . At some point I gave in , did my thing and didn't pay them any attention.

heidi

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 1:40 am

amother wrote:

I know . I work really hard on myself ( I come from a home where slapping is the norm and it's hard to stop bad habits when you have a screaming NB and two older kids that don't go to sleep...) . No excuses.

I'm sorry, I just saw red when I read the slapping. Probably bcz. I can so relate. When you are sleep deprived and tired and just need a minute, one single minute, to breathe and your kids will not go to sleep, it's enough to really make you scream.
I was always very anti bribing kids. Until I had kids. I find bribery works. For instance, "Darling four year old (and even 2 year old)-- look at this beautiful chart I made (it can be on the back of a cardboard from the cereal box)- -and look at these beautiful, shiny, star stickers. Whoever stays in crib, bed, goes to sleep nicely (you fill in the words) and stays in bed the whole night (or whatever) will get a beautiful star in the morning. When this row (I would make the row not more than three stars for these ages) is filled up, we will read a special book, do a special art project, go to the park you love, go to the store and get ices, soda, toy-- you know what they like and you can afford. Nothing expensive-- it's supposed to be a treat, not a payoff.
The key here is consistency. You must must must come in the next morning and make a huge deal about it first first thing. "Wow, 4 and 2 year old. I am sooooo very proud of you. You stayed in bed (or whatever) and now each of you gets to pick what color star you want and stick it on the chart. (If only one succeeded, I believe in letting just him do it, but not sure how much of a meltdown you can deal with in the morning so if the little one wants to, maybe let him as a token of good will Very Happy

)
I hope this helps and wish you many peaceful evenings!!

amother

Firebrick

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 10:03 am

heidi wrote:

OP wrote that she feels terrible about it.
How about we don't belabor the issue?

I don't know what the deleted post was but thanks for saying this. I do feel terrible about the slapping:( I don't usually slap ever. It's this new bed time issue that's driving me insane!

And I liked your advice- I'll try charts and bribing... As strange as it sounds.

amother

Firebrick

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 10:06 am

TeachersNotebook wrote:

Heidi, that was really uncalled for. She asked for help because she knows what she is doing is not working, and all you did was attack her. Sad

Very cute idea!

sky

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 10:42 am

I found with really young kids the charts were too long term and that daily bribes worked better.

Before going up I would place 5 Chocolate chips on the table and tell them that every time they get out of bed they lose one and when they wake up in teh morning they can eat what it is left. This should work for the 4 year old. Most probably the 2 year old is too young to get it.

I would also split them up. I have 4 children in one room, and one in my bedroom, so I know about things being tight. but at bedtime I'll try to split up the kids. Can you put the 4 year old in your room with a bribe to stay in bed and the let the 2 year old do whatever he does.

Also, depending on the 2 year old would it work to put his mattress on the floor (he is getting out anyway) and tell him if he can act so big and stay on his mattress he can move out of the crib. But if he gets off he has to get back in. If it is built up he may just listen.

Good luck. Sometimes its just a matter of breaking out a of a really bad routine and then it just gets better.

amother

Vermilion

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 11:45 am

for everyone with teaching them about what they are supposed to be doing at this time. My 2yr old knows hes supposed to be in bed but he doesnt care. That is precisely the problem. I also feel that the charts are too small for a 2 year old. I have tried giving him a toy to take to sleep and telling him that if he comes out, I will take it away. he climbs out anyway. I also make a big deal in the morning if he doesnt climbout. I mean a really big deal. we will call his bubby etc to tell her but that didnt work either. I feel for you op

amother

Firebrick

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 2:14 pm

sky wrote:

Chocolate chips idea is great but my 4 yo would get out of bed quietly and eat it up Smile

and if I stay with them in the room he will turn it into a game of trying to get up to take the CC.

Splitting them up is probably the answer . That's what I've tried in the past few nights . What happened was : I put ds 2 in the crib at 7 pm , told ds 4 to keep playing . Ds 4 ran to their room to take ds 2 out... - and voila back to the usual fighting.
Then I tried putting ds 4 to bed first. Ds 2 ran to him...
It's actually pretty cute . I just wish I wasn't so tired.

I think what I might try is letting one watch a movie ( that's huge by us ...) while the other goes to sleep. Maybe that would be more fun than running out of bed ? I'll try tonight .

The funny thing is that it isn't a habit yet - it literally started two weeks ago. Until then bed time was my pride .