Crazy shidduch questions you were asked

amother

Gray

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 1:02 pm

I've read many times about crazy Shiduch question but in real life no one ever asked a million questions about Yichus but nothing about the boy or girl himself/herself, no one ever asked me if they use plastic or paper plates, no one ever asked about the girls anatomy etc.

Ironically the only odd question I was ever asked was a legitimate one. It was the reason for asking that (I thought)was odd: The girls family wanted to know if a boy had a heart condition after he told her that he takes a walk every day and tries to stay away from unhealthy food.

What about you? Did anyone actually ask the questions I only read about? I have a feeling these questions when asked are being taken out of context.

amother

Mustard

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 1:37 pm

I got a list of "suggested shidduch questions" from somewhere, somewhen, and nearly fell off my chair when I saw "What meds does the boy or girl take regularly?" I can't say whether or not anyone really had the gall to ask such a thing IRL, but what the HECK???

Just to be a wise guy, because that's the kind of person I am, and because I bitterly resent that whole "research" thing which is less research than just plain snooping, and with which I am extremely uncomfortable no matter which end of the process I'm at, I once asked a shadchan what color tablecloth a family uses. I had to explain to the shocked and baffled shadchan that I was making a joke.

allthingsblue

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 1:42 pm

amother wrote:

That is a valid question. So many times, people hide that they are on mess, whih sometimes results in divorce when the spouse finds out.

As for the question op was asked- a heart condition because the boy leads a healthful lifestyle- that is absolutely ridiculous in my book! I wonder if the family that asked about it is the kind of family who thinks potato kugel is a vegetable Rolling Eyes

zaq

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 1:43 pm

agreer wrote:

If she was an animal, what type of animal would she be?

Yes, seriously.

That's easy--every girl would be a gazelle. Beautiful, graceful, swift, eidel, kosher and yearning for G-d. "keayal taarog al afikei mayim, ken nafshi taarog elecha Elokim."

You're welcome. Feel free to use this should the opportunity arise.

glamourmom

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 1:47 pm

zaq wrote:

love this.

notshanarishona

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 1:47 pm

I have been asked all types of fun questions from random people:

What age were they toilet trained?
Did she catch on to reading fast? (yes, that makes a different 20 years later!),
Does she eat healthy?
How long did it take her mom to lose weight post partum?

There were others, I made a list somewhere ...

sky

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 1:49 pm

agreer wrote:

If she was an animal, what type of animal would she be?

Yes, seriously.

I also heard it once. And the answeret was appalled - how can you refer to your future DIL as an animal - and refused to answer additional question.

cnc

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 1:49 pm

amother wrote:

I actually think this is a perfectly legitimate question.
I believe if one is asked directly, they are mechuyav to respond, but if not asked then they don't need to offer the information. Therefore people will ask this question directly.

zaq

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 1:52 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

How would you even know the answers? I couldn't answer the first question for my own children, let alone someone else's.

zaq

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 2:00 pm

[color=black]

What age were they toilet trained?
--Long before they started school.
Did she catch on to reading fast? (yes, that makes a different 20 years later!)
-- She can read fast but prefers to read slowly, the better to absorb the material
Does she eat healthy?
--No, she eats food.
How long did it take her mom to lose weight post partum?
--Like most moms, she shed at least 15 pounds the day of delivery.

amother

Tan

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 2:08 pm

I was asked if my BIL had a unibrow. He does, and I suppose if the girl knows she finds unibrows unattractive I suppose she may as well weed out the guys that have them rather than waste time on a date with someone she would find repulsive. So I guess it wasn't crazy to ask, but Dh and I found it funny, it just seemed like such an odd thing to think of. BIL is married now, so Bh he found someone who presumably appreciates his unibrow.

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 2:29 pm

My rav was asked if I was a virgin (my husband was in a charedi / BT yeshiva when we were dating. Neither of us are charedi) My rav thought that that rav was off his rocker. First he said how in the world would he know that about me and second it was nobody's business but mine and my future husband (mind you my husband never knew that was asked until much after the fact)
We both found it to be a bizarre question.

out-of-towner

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 2:44 pm

Besides for the contents of the girl's father's wallet and how much/long they were willing to support?

My friend's resume says that she is 5ft 2in. A boy's mother asked me if she was really 5"2'. I realized only later that she was asking if this was an accurate height or if she was a few inches shorter than that IRL. The girl was too Eherlach for that type of mother if she suspected that she my have lied on her resume, me and my friends are all truthful, real, honest human beings.

amother

Amber

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 2:47 pm

pointyshoes wrote:

I wasn't asked anything weird either but my good friend was asked what bra size she is.

That is the craziest question I ever heard! Hope she didn't marry that guy

pointyshoes

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 3:07 pm

amother wrote:

That is the craziest question I ever heard! Hope she didn't marry that guy

Nope she didn't! Actually my mom set her up with the nicest guy from the nicest family and they're happily married!

Miri7

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 3:09 pm

pointyshoes wrote:

I wasn't asked anything weird either but my good friend was asked what bra size she is.

This is disgusting. This question is relevant when looking for a lingere or bikini model, not a nice Jewish wife. Shame on who ever asked it.

I don't find the animal question off-putting. It's silly but it's one of those questions that supposed to give you insight into the persons personality. Like "what 3 things would you take with you if you were stuck on a deserted island" or "if you could invite one person from history for dinner, who would it be?"

But these questions about breast size and how quickly the mom lost the pregnancy pounds are just gross, and if asked directly by the family demonstrate poor values and middot.