WWYD? | Imamother

amother

Wine

Sun, Jun 26 2016, 1:42 pm

Long story short. Planned a trip around spending time with non-frum family, staying as their guests. Food not an issue, city has a few kosher restaurants. But shabbos obviously not great, so we had plans to stay just for shabbos elsewhere with a family we know. They cancelled on us last minute. Now we either spend shabbos with non-frum family, seek hospitality from strangers or option 3 just maybe find some nice relaxing cabin or something outside the city and have a quiet shabbos on our own. DH leaning towards staying with non-frum family but we have young kids and I think it will be very uncomfortable and awkward. Food I can manage but they are not the type to restructure their activities around ours. I hate the idea. Also hate to feel mooching off kind strangers (if we even could find any). I want to just find a quiet spot but DH doesn't want to spend more money.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Jun 26 2016, 2:03 pm

I would stay with non-frum relatives and spend most of the day outdoors, if possible.

When children see non-frum relatives watching TV and using cell phones, say "They are Jewish but they were never taught what it means to keep Shabbos."

doctorima

Sun, Jun 26 2016, 3:43 pm

If it's a city with multiple kosher restaurants, I assume there are many frum people there. Could you call the closest Orthodox shul and explain your situation and see if any members can help you out with hospitality? Or check Shabbat.com for that city? Or post here where it is, and maybe an imamother can help you out!

greenfire

Sun, Jun 26 2016, 3:50 pm

with a little work you can try making shabbos with them ... you never know how great & spiritual it can be for both of you

if there's a shul nearby & kosher groceries you get creative with cold cut sandwiches and things that do not have to be cooked ... lots of paper goods which you'll no doubt be using the rest of the week as well

you can even bring or buy a crockpot for a cholent Idea

imasinger

Sun, Jun 26 2016, 3:57 pm

Having tried to deal with non frum family and Shabbos, I'd suggest finding another option. Posting a new thread here to ask about hospitality is a fun choice.

Is there a Chabad in that town? That's another good option.

Amarante

Sun, Jun 26 2016, 4:49 pm

Not completely understanding the issue.

Would they be completely against celebrating Friday with you? As a thank you, you could host with take out on paper plates.

Is Saturday the issue in terms of how to spend the day? As others have suggested, you could buy cold food, salads or even make something in a crock pot.

sourstix

Sun, Jun 26 2016, 5:14 pm

It's awkward to be around people who are mechalel Shabbis while you don't
I would try to find a Chabad house and explain what the situation is

Chana Miriam S

Sun, Jun 26 2016, 5:17 pm

I vote for strangers! I had strangers for Shabbat at my house this weekend ( sometimes I pick up strays at the restaurant!) and it was lovely!!!

DrMom

Mon, Jun 27 2016, 2:53 am

imasinger wrote:

Ditto.

Raisin

Mon, Jun 27 2016, 3:11 am

Can you find someone to host you for shabbos lunch and maybe hang out in their house most of the day? Friday night might be more manageable since it is late and you can put the kids to bed.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Jun 27 2016, 7:36 am

amother wrote:

When children see non-frum relatives watching TV and using cell phones, say "They are Jewish but they were never taught what it means to keep Shabbos."

Please don't say this!

Kids see things very black and white. They'll go to the relatives and start telling them how to keep Shabbos, and get upset if the relatives are not immediately 100% on board. I remember DD when she was younger, and she was the Shabbos Police. She loved to point out when people were "doing things wrong", and she was a smarty-pants about it.

amother

Babyblue

Mon, Jun 27 2016, 8:12 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

My dh is a BT and this worked for our kids. We explain to them that some people just don't know better and our kids have never tried to be Shabbos police.