Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Interesting Discussions
Should a yeshiva kick out a boy for drug use?
Previous  1  2  3



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
Vermilion


 

Post Thu, Sep 08 2016, 10:10 pm
http://www.jewishcommunitywatc.....soul/

IT STOLE MY LIFE, MY PURPOSE AND MY SOUL

Posted on November 9, 2015
This story contains graphic descriptions and may be disturbing to its readers

Growing up in a ultra-religious, Jewish neighborhood there was always pressure for me to become the most perfect Jew that I could be.

Unfortunately, no one paid attention to my feelings.

I grew up in a home where everything was cold and I felt unloved. Like many kids my age that were trying to fit into a box, I failed miserably. When he promised me he would be there for me and care about me, I never thought it really meant that he would scar me and bury me alive.

I tell my story to inspire others. I hope I can help someone like me realize that there are others that know just what you feel.

I know what it means to open up to someone and be shut down. Because after he molested me in school, I opened up to someone, not because I thought it would help but because I wanted someone to care about me. The rabbi was told of what happened, but, of course, just like many other rabbis, he believed the abuser and believed I was just trying to attract attention at the age of 11. This has left me believing until today that anyone who is there for you just wants something in return.

Of course my parents listened to the rabbis and didn’t do anything. Then, at the young age of 11, I was brought before a Torah to swear that what I said was true. Life took off from there, leading to everyone talking about me in school and everyone taking advantage of me s-xually like I was their s-x toy.

Fast forward one year. I was told to go to a room. There stood someone my age alongside an older guy, who then forcefully made me gag until I couldn’t talk.

Until he was satisfied.

Of course, I went on and kept quiet. Everything that I felt was expressed with a razor going up and down my arm and with the blood gushing. What would be the point of raising my voice if it would never be heard?

This continued until I was 15. During those years I was taken advantage of mentally, verbally, and s-xually, and that became my routine. That was all I knew in life, “Don’t talk, this is how your life is meant to be because why else would they be doing this to you?” I waited to get raped, because I knew that was the cycle.

And then it happened, in that garage. Forcefully and brutally with no mercy whatsoever.

But again, I kept my mouth closed because it was no use. The one person I did open up to died a year after I got to know him, and he was the only person who didn’t take advantage of me in my entire life.

To those people who wonder what it does to you, let me tell you.

I’m 21 years old.

I’m a heroin addict.

I’ve been to rehab 4 times and countless times in detox.

It stole my life, my purpose, my soul, and every part of me.

And people say to me, “Grow up! Man up!” You people are the most evil things in this world. You’re worse than a murderer! Let’s see how you would be like if you went through what half of us went through! You know nothing about us! Why don’t you read our stories?! Why don’t you imagine you were the victim, getting penetrated until you’re gushing blood and until you can’t walk for a week? Why don’t you imagine not being able to feel any emotions? Being like a rock. Totally numb.

I left out details because no one can handle hearing the full story.

To those people who donate to schools programs, look at what Jewish Community Watch does for people like me and for people with worse stories than me.

Imagine your kid going through what I went through. Would you be able to live with that?

Instead of only caring about what your children dress like or looking like, why don’t you CARE about them?! Shouldn’t that be how Jews act?

The pain remains every day.
Back to top

DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 08 2016, 10:44 pm
amother wrote:
It's not a question of your child vs someone else's child. These are our children too. How we treat them directly impacts the quality of chinuch ALL our children receive. It may not be your child but it could be your nephew, your neighbor, your grandson. And it might not be drug use but some other problem the school decides it can't/won't deal with. It does not bode well for any of our children when they see that some of them are disposable.

Oh and btw I hate to break it to you but your child is already exposed. Better to spend your precious chinuch dollars teaching him HOW to respond and interact with imperfect people.

I love how people come here and project their own experiences onto others. You have no idea who I am, who my son is, where we live, what type if yeshiva he attends, who his friends are, etc., yet you are 100% sure that he has been exposed to drug usage in his yeshiva and that I have not taught him how to respond to difficult situations.

Obviously if the yeshiva where you send your son is so abusive and harsh that it is driving kids to become drug users -- whom they then expel -- there is a serious problem. I would wonder why parents send their boys there.

First of all, I think it is a fallacy to assume that every drug user in yeshiva is the victim of an abusive school system; there are plenty of drug users outside of the Jewish world who attend perfectly nice schools, so I don;t see why this would be different in the frum Jewish world.

Secondly, I still maintain that a drug-user should be removed from a yeshiva setting, so that he can get the help he needs to recover and so that he does not share his goodies with other non-users and get them into life-threatening bad habits.
Back to top

NovelConcept




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 09 2016, 5:32 am
Vermillion,

It is truly tragic what you went through, and no human being should ever have to experience such terrible things.

Baruch Hashem though, that your experience was NOT the norm. There are thousands of frum Yidden that will never know -- and never DO -- the terrible things you wrote of.
Back to top

PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 09 2016, 6:18 am
NovelConcept wrote:
Chani8, I think you are falling prey to non-Jewish (antisemetic) claims that yeshivos cover up for abuse. I have a close family member that works in several chareidi yeshivos and if a child even HINTS to a inappropriate conduct from other kids or staff members, they launch a full investigation.

All of our charedi buses and classrooms are outfitted with life-feed videos so that administration is constantly monitoring to make sure students are safe, and bus routes are timed down to the minute. If a child arrives home late, they launch a full investigation to make sure that the child is safe. Even Chaverim has a list of all bus drivers phones, addresses, etc, to be able to find them if there is any suspicion.

Don't be so quick to cast blame on a yeshiva system. I, and people like me, pride ourselves on doing our part to protect our children to the best of our ability from sick people. Unfortunately, there ARE sick people, but we try our best, and pray, pray! Just like you do.


Yes, b"H there are schools that are doing everything, or close to it, correctly. Our community and school has had gatherings featuring experts on abuse and education for awareness and to give us a vocabulary. They are replacing solid doors with doors with windows. They are training teachers to visit each classroom and appropriately and caringly give the kids the information they need, and are the contact people in the schools.

Do you know why all the good stuff has been implemented recently? Because bad things, including cover ups (and even I, I, rose-colored glasses and all, have heard of stories from reliable sources, in several cities) have happened, r"l.
Back to top

NovelConcept




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 09 2016, 6:29 am
PinkFridge wrote:


Do you know why all the good stuff has been implemented recently? Because bad things, including cover ups (and even I, I, rose-colored glasses and all, have heard of stories from reliable sources, in several cities) have happened, r"l.


Yes, of course, we've all heard stories. As I said, there ARE sick people. But B"H the majority of the community is NOT sick, and after hearing such stories... Look at the action we all take! We don't want it to happen! We don't want this disgusting fakers to get away with horrific things.

I see things more clearly than most, due to my family members involvement in yeshivos and as an active askan. When a story happens, you should know what goes on behind the scenes. The community is ROILING, ready to spring into action and make sure these things never happen again.

In every community there are a handful of perverted people, be it the heimishe, or the MO, or the not frum. Certainly in the broader world there are even more concentrated amounts of sickos, simply due to the prevalence and acceptance of constant focus on lustful matters.
Back to top

PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 09 2016, 9:09 am
NovelConcept wrote:
Yes, of course, we've all heard stories. As I said, there ARE sick people. But B"H the majority of the community is NOT sick, and after hearing such stories... Look at the action we all take! We don't want it to happen! We don't want this disgusting fakers to get away with horrific things.


It may just be a handful but each person can damage/ruin dozens and dozens of people's lives.
Back to top
Page 3 of 3 Previous  1  2  3 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Interesting Discussions

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Clothes Shopping List for Baby Boy
by Sushi22
3 Yesterday at 10:56 pm View last post
4 yr old boy wedding
by amother
3 Yesterday at 8:05 am View last post
Yeshiva area babysitter small group willing to pay
by amother
0 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 4:12 pm View last post
Boy's Tzitzes
by amother
0 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:18 am View last post
Baby boy leaking out of his diapers
by amother
3 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 8:55 am View last post