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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
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 Tue, Aug 14 2007, 7:18 pm
A friend of mine came over for a playdate with our toddlers, which we do once in a while. We aren't tight buddies, just casual friends whose kids play well together. What usually ends up happening throughout the visit is this:
She gets a call and proceeds to have a long cozy chat. Usually it's with her husband, sometimes another friend. Now, I have no problem with a guest taking a call while she's at my house, but she will go into long convos with the caller, about topics that don't sound like they must be discussed right at that moment...
To me, it just seems a bit rude...
If you are in a social setting, be social! It can be awkward when we are chatting and she picks up a call on her cell and leaves me hanging mid-sentence. I would never do the same. Could it be a cultural difference? She is not American.
She is otherwise a very nice person...I don't think I would ever say anything to her, but it can be annoying and comes off kinda snobby...
WDYT?
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mumsy23
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Tue, Aug 14 2007, 7:21 pm
I agree - I have had the same thing happen and I hate it! When I get a call while I'm with someone, I will usually pick up and see if it is something important and if not I say "listen, I'm with a friend right now, but can I call you back?"
But some people don't - I would probably not invite that person over again. I don't see how you can say something without it being really ackward.
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Ruchel
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Tue, Aug 14 2007, 7:28 pm
It's really bad!
I think I would have hinted that it was loooong, I hope everything is right LOL
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Mimisinger
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Tue, Aug 14 2007, 7:53 pm
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Yeah, it's really annoying - it happened to me today also! She talked the entire time we were in the car on the phone. Both the way there and back. I couldn't even play the radio, b/c that would be rude.
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Tefila
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Tue, Aug 14 2007, 8:29 pm
Yes imo it is very RUDE when not an emergency. I would tolerate it once after that I would tell her casually "u come and bring your kid to play leave your phone alone at home. Or if u must then no longer then a min or so, I don't want to feel that I am a part of the furnishings!" 
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greenfire
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Tue, Aug 14 2007, 8:58 pm
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how exactly would you know if she is nice otherwise - considering she is always on the phone ... rude is rude in any culture ...
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chocolate moose
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Wed, Aug 15 2007, 10:12 am
terrible.
even if dd and I are just going groc shopping together, I ask her to turn off her cell.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 15 2007, 12:59 pm
Op here...
She actually is a nice person. I've known her for a few years and seen her in different circumstances: Shabbos invites, events, at shul etc, where she wasn't yapping on the phone.
I don't think she realizes how snobby it can come across...
it implies that I am not good enough company for her, or she's bored. She won't even say 'excuse me' if we are in the middle of a conversation-she'll just go and pick up the call.
She does it while I am over at her house too, but there I don't care so much, it's her house and she can do what she wants there.
Good to know I'm not overreacting. 
Guess I'll just chalk it up to one of those things.... 
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Imhappy!
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Thu, Aug 16 2007, 11:09 am
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today ppl treat the phone like a live person... or maybe even with more respect than a live person....
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chocolate moose
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Thu, Aug 16 2007, 11:11 am
| Imhappy! wrote: | | today ppl treat the phone like a live person... or maybe even with more respect than a live person.... |
it was always like that. why someone at home in the pajamas gets more kovod than someone standing in frnt of you, I''l never know . . .
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amother
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Thu, Aug 16 2007, 11:15 am
You don't have to be rude about it, but if it bothers you, then kinda hint it to her, if you're good friends. when she leaves your house next time you can say something like: "Its good to have you over, I would love to be able to speak to "YOU" next time you come, so mabe leave your phone home so that noone can disturb us." or if you once don't catch her on the phone tell her how much you enjoyed speaking to her without disturbance.... she'll get the message. 
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greenfire
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Thu, Aug 16 2007, 11:19 am
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cm - pajamas and phone ... not sure what you are saying ...
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chocolate moose
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Thu, Aug 16 2007, 11:26 am
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Green, that ppl can be home all comfy, and get better service than those standing in line at the cashier, for example. Dressed and exerting themselves.
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chocolate moose
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Thu, Aug 16 2007, 3:22 pm
| Imhappy! wrote: | | my thoughts exactly CM |
Great minds . . . . . 
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chen
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Thu, Aug 16 2007, 9:47 pm
| amother wrote: | | it implies that I am not good enough company for her, or she's bored. |
It certainly implies that talking to the "other" is more important to her than to you. Since she's such a "nice person", why not explain to her how dissed her phone habits make you feel and ask her to please refrain from taking non-emergency calls when she's visiting you.
If G-d had meant us to interrupt live conversations with people directly in front of us in favor of phone conversations with people elsewhere, He wouldn't have invented voicemail.
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justanothermother
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Thu, Aug 16 2007, 11:40 pm
| chocolate moose wrote: | | Green, that ppl can be home all comfy, and get better service than those standing in line at the cashier, for example. Dressed and exerting themselves. |
Once I was in front of the cashier at a pizza shop and she kept ignoring me to take phone orders that kept coming in. So I whipped out my cell and she took my order over the phone while I was two feet in front of her waiting to get her attention.
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Pickle Lady
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Thu, Aug 16 2007, 11:59 pm
| justanothermother wrote: | | chocolate moose wrote: | | Green, that ppl can be home all comfy, and get better service than those standing in line at the cashier, for example. Dressed and exerting themselves. |
Once I was in front of the cashier at a pizza shop and she kept ignoring me to take phone orders that kept coming in. So I whipped out my cell and she took my order over the phone while I was two feet in front of her waiting to get her attention. |
that was really smart. Did she know that you did that while you were giving her your order?
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chen
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Fri, Aug 17 2007, 7:53 am
| justanothermother wrote: | | So I whipped out my cell and she took my order over the phone while I was two feet in front of her waiting to get her attention. |
BRILLIANT!
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