Help me help my son!

amother

Tan

Tue, Jul 05 2016, 6:55 pm

I'm at my wits end!
My 4 year old ds has some issues and have no idea how to help him.Any ideas???
Issues:
He begs for food all day, and refuses to "move around. he prefers to sit and do nothing causing him to be very overweight. I cut down on his food a lot, which he's not to happy about and have him nosh on veggies which he bh enjoys. But from minute he wakes up he's asking for food already. I'm very worried about his weight which I feel like will only be taken care of if he moves around more. but refuses. Tried taking him to the park, try playing with him ball.... he's not interested in doing anything..
I'm very worried about his social skills (besides his weight issue), he communicates a lot with touching the other person. also, if have someone visit that somewhat familiar to him but not very, instead of shying away like my other kids he starts acting up making weird motions, and blabbering away. he doesnt know how to handle feeling uncomfortable with them -causing me great embarrassment.

He has some more issues but this is my main concerns now. Any ideas how to help him?? he's getting older and very nervous about his social skills, weight, and emotional health

amother

Mustard

Tue, Jul 05 2016, 6:59 pm

amother wrote:

take him to your pediatrician and discuss all of this. Does he go to school? How does he function there? He would have no choice other than to interact. What do his teachers say? Sounds like he needs to be evaluated. If you have a good Dr. he will tell you how to proceed.

amother

Tan

Tue, Jul 05 2016, 7:03 pm

amother wrote:

He is in school, and has a siet with him

amother

Firebrick

Tue, Jul 05 2016, 7:15 pm

I would start with the pediatrician. There may be a medical reason behind it.

I am a big snacker, and don't eat large meals. Additionally, I have a bad relationship with food because my mother was always watching what I ate.
I didn't want my kids to have that habit, so I focus on three meals a day. They know to expect breakfast lunch and dinner with few snacks. The meals aren't anything fancy, but consistent. Dinner is usually protein without sides. I got rid of all sugar snacks in the house because one of my children needed to be off sugar. If they are hungry, they can take fruit or vegetables by themselves. Snack bags (pretzels, chips) are usually reserved for outings.
I am not strict with food either. If someone gives them candy, they can have it. If the teacher makes a siyum and they bring home a bag of candy, I don't take it away. I bake for shabbos.
The only thing I do tell them is that too much sugar makes them crazy. They can recognize that they feel better without it. So when we are by my inlaws and one reaches for her 8th cookie, I tell her I don't want her to feel sick from it.

Maybe an idea for you and him it to decide on all the food for the day. Include meals, snacks and even candy. Make a timeline of the day with pictures (wakeup, breakfast, leave for school...) and decide when he wants to eat each thing on the list. Don't leave too big of a gap between foods. Kids this age have a poor concept of time. This way he might be satisfied if he knows when the next meal/snack is coming.

amother

Tan

Tue, Jul 05 2016, 7:27 pm

amother wrote:

eating is not the issue now. I basically do as you said above. thats bh solved. problem is that he doesnt move. his eating is ok but without any exercise he just gaining weight. I took him to the park and tried making him excited to go around and have fun. he refused. he stood by side of park while rest of kids enjoyed.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Jul 06 2016, 3:02 am

rydys wrote:

Have you considered Prader-Willi syndrome?

This really needs to be brought up. A simple genetic test will tell you. Four is just about the age when it becomes obvious that it's PWS. The fact that he seems to have low muscle tone is a red flag, especially when combined with a voracious appetite and poor social skills.

amother

Tan

Wed, Jul 06 2016, 8:50 pm

rydys wrote:

Have you considered Prader-Willi syndrome?

OP here.
thanks for all your replies.

I never hear of Prader-Willi syndrome. I researched it online now.
according to symptoms online I dont think it is, which includes short stature, difficulty eating as a baby and more.

I think problem is that he was low muscle tone (He refused to be on his stomach as a baby) and therefor its hard for him to move around so he rather sits and not move. he's not this pusher type. I'm not sure if he's hungry, I think its more his entertainment when he's not interested in playing or moving around he has to do "something" which is eating

talking about low muscle tone- any ideas for certain exercises that are good that is more fun and not too hard for him that I can try, that is if he agrees??

about his weight, he really was never skinny. as a baby he was already very chubby-only nursing.

amother

Emerald

Thu, Jul 07 2016, 2:54 am

I have a SN child and when I
Took him for swimming lessons I met 2 children with PW syndrome. I don't know where OP you read about short stature, but both these kids were not short statured in the least. As the 2 posters above stated, u need to 1.Determine what this is by going first to your ped and
2. Do not attempt to try and 'fix' this alone by trying to do all sorts of activities with him and at the end of the day be frustrated at the outcome. You need professional support, advice, guidance etc.

Whatever it is, and it's clear that it's more than a child being hungry or not interested in physical activity. Please get proper diagnosis and there is a team of people in your shoes who can help you.

Only speaking from experience.
Good luck.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Jul 07 2016, 5:55 am

I know about PWS because I have a sn child with a different chromosomal disorder, and it got me interested in different ways that chromosomes can mutate and express themselves. I find it fascinating, so I do research on them for fun, instead of wasting time on Netflix.

YouTube has some really excellent documentaries, just do a search. You'll find that like almost every other chromosomal syndrome, there is a spectrum of expression. No two kids are ever alike, but within a range of similarities.

Just keep in mind that case studies and documentaries often focus on the more severe ends of the spectrum, because it makes for more compelling reading/watching. Your child may be on that spectrum, but not have a full mutation, and therefore less affected.

My kiddo is mildly affected by her Fragile X Syndrome, and everything I've been able to find online focuses on boys with the syndrome, who often also present with severe Autism and ODD. If I used that guideline, I'd be terrified for DD's future!

Take everything with a grain of salt until you've spoken with a qualified geneticist.