Photographers for dd shidduch picture in Brooklyn

UnFarvosNischt

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 11:27 am

Actually, I think pictures can show much more than just the outer look. Before meeting DH, I was suggested someone and I saw a picture of him and I knew, just from the pic, that he wasn't my type. It saved me from a useless date. So a pic isn't so useless.
The difference between using a casual shot and a professional one may depend on the background. If all the other girls give professional ones, it won't be fair for the ones who send casual ones.

Chayalle

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 11:33 am

UnFarvosNischt wrote:

This has the potential to backfire as well. I know people who are happily married, who didn't make such a great first impression, even in person. And I've seen people totally get carried away by pictures. Beyond that, the potential for abuse of the picture system outweighs it's benefit, IMVHO and in the opinion of many Rabbanim as well who decry it's practice.

The poster who wrote about MIL's just picking the prettiest picture is a case in point.

And the necessitating professional shidduch portraits of girls is just another new fad/standard in line with a bunch of new meshugasin we can all do without. Girls have enough pressure as it is, we don't need another layer, thank you very much.

amother

Blue

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 11:41 am

I asked dh on an early date if he had seen a pic of me. I would have dumped him on the spot if he replied in affirmative. There's no reason for a bachur to be looking at a picture of a girl. My mother tried making me attach a pic to my resume and I told her that once a boy agrees to date me I'll send him an entire album.

Later my oldest sil told me that while we were dating she was frantically trying to Facebook me to find a pic lol. (which is why I post no pics on fb) I'm OK with that, that's an after the fact nosiness not a preliminary criteria. (anyways the sisters knew me from school and had the yrbk pic of me)

amother

Khaki

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 12:46 pm

Chayalle wrote:

The more girls capitulating to this, the more our girls are being cheapened by stupid prospective mothers-in-law. Yes, and I rarely use that word.

No way would I do this to my girls. I'm particular that they marry boys with sensible parents, not those that have a beauty-contest-by-picture lineup.

Sometimes you just gotta see a pic. My friend was spoken a super great boy. Just before she met him she requested a pic, also because the other side wanted from her. She was shocked to see he was way shorter than her and very obese. She had no idea before that. A picture says alot. If the other side will ask from me then I have the right to request back.

sourstix

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 12:55 pm

Some people a lot heavier in a picture then in real life. It's a pity you went only for the picture. I'm saddened by the fact that you refused to give him a chance. What a sick world we live in. I am so glad I don't circulate with those people

sourstix

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 12:58 pm

So people should use their common sense when asking for a picture. If you live in another country then I understand but if you live fairly close by. U really don't need it. I feel bad for anyone that has to go this type of humiliation. I'm saddened that as frum Jews we do t have better values.

amother

Khaki

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 1:02 pm

sourstix wrote:

You misread my post. Firstly a picture does not make you extremely heavy and short.
Secondly, it wasn't me, it was a friend of mine, who after inquiring about this found out he had an underlying health issue which caused hime to be obese. So YES!! She didn't have to give him a second chance if his illness was a secret she lost trust.

amother

Saddlebrown

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 1:19 pm

Chayalle wrote:

look while I may agree with you.. this is the world we live in..
I tried my best not to, it just doesnt work like that.. not if your being realistic
(in my case, I didnt want my photo going around, because I didn't want that to be the only reason I got a yes.. but that happened plenty of times anyways Sad

I didnt know my husband had seen a pic till I was engaged or almost engaged..

sourstix

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 1:43 pm

Khaki amother. I didn't read in the first post saying he had a illness that wasn't told about. And yes sometimes a picture can make you look heavier then in real life. I am just trying to make sense of regular situations that are not issues like a mother in law that looks at all pictures to see who is prettiest. That to me is nauseous. And everyone would agree to that.

amother

Saddlebrown

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 2:00 pm

Iymnok wrote:

What's wrong with senior pictures? She won't change THAT much in the following years.

um no. I dont know about your senior pictures.. but mine were highly regulated.. anyone who actually looked good had to do retakes. yep, if u even closely resembled what the school called a "model" you had to redo.. and we werent allowed to have hair in front if it was longer than collar bone, no eyeliner, the pics were b/w, girls had braces..

also I dunno about you.. but not everyone gets engaged straight out of high school. they can change from baby face to adult..

Chayalle

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 2:15 pm

amother wrote:

Yes but it's not a picture that saved her life or anything. She would've seen how he looked on a date, so the worst thing is, she would've gone out with him once.

For that, all this picture nonsense?

Chayalle

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 2:17 pm

amother wrote:

I actually can agree with this, DD hates her senior picture. It's basically a fit-into-this-box snapshot of an entire grade of girls all looking pretty much in the school image rather than their own.

However, if someone absolutely must see her face before their darling can go out with her, I can't stop them from checking her yearbook.

Another mom

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 4:56 pm

What if the prof picure is AMAZING but in real life the Kallah is just regular "pretty"... I wouldn't want the boy to be disappointed!! Be natural!! Whatever happened to שקר החן והבל היופי? I don't mean to marry wives who aren't pretty but, professional pictures only?? Tell the Shadchan that you are not "selling" your daughter.

rae

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 5:14 pm

It is pretty dumb, but if that's what people want to do, go ahead. My friend asked for a picture and then didn't recognize her sons soon to be fiancé. Professional shots can make anyone gorgeous. Certain angles can take off pounds too. I guess those mil can show off their pics instead of the actual person.

TeachersNotebook

Mon, Jul 18 2016, 10:28 pm

Professional head shots are not the most complicated pictures. Both my sister and I used JCPenney. (In a nod to the side convo happening here, we did this with much protestation and without wanting to, but because this is the world we live in and we want to get married. Although I only attached my picture when I was specifically asked, I knew I still had to have one ready.) I used a Groupon, which they have fairly regularly. I was very happy with my shot. I was amazed with my sister's, who is not that photogenic. (Though pretty in real life. You know what pictures can do to you, somehow...) The photographer used tricks to make them come out beautiful.

My advice- just use a Groupon.