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Feeling cheated
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 5:40 pm
amother wrote:
So Dh just spoke to our Rav cuz theirs never called. He said it doesn't sound like we have a case but he'd call thier Rav anyway. Any ideas? I know you all agreed that what they did was wrong. So why isn't this a case for din Torah.
.

I don't think everyone agreed what they did was wrong. Most people feel it's an annoying part of the process and that until the contract is signed either side can drop out. Sorry for the frustration, I think you need to try to move on now.
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amother
Blue


 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 6:06 pm
amother wrote:
So Dh just spoke to our Rav cuz theirs never called. He said it doesn't sound like we have a case but he'd call thier Rav anyway. Any ideas? I know you all agreed that what they did was wrong. So why isn't this a case for din Torah.

Are we reading the same things? I see one response that kind of implicitly said you have a case for din Torah, not one single other poster insinuated this in any way. M Question
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 6:20 pm
Sorry op but like everyone else said
It's assumed they can accept another offer if u didn't sign a written contract.
. even ur rav said its not enough for a case so they DID NOTHING WRONG!!
U are upset BC u lost money and this house!!yes, its upsetting!!the whole house hunting/buying is stressful sometimes especially since even wen a person has a contract, the buyer still loses "" money for the inspection if the inspector sees something wrong which causes the buyer to "bac out"

. good luck finding a house that's "healthy " and fits ur budget
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 7:30 pm
ChutzPAh wrote:
If people talk, you might get a reputation for being difficult buyers to deal with. Something to think about.

What does that mean? Am I supposed to be ok with someone lying to me and loosing money? Besides unless ur trying to cheat me there's nothing to worry about. I was asking for ideas about how to get compensated for expenses and aggravation. I know everyone on this thread agreed what happened to me was wrong. Now I just need to know what to tell thier rav
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amother
Blue


 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 7:35 pm
amother wrote:
What does that mean? Am I supposed to be ok with someone lying to me and loosing money? Besides unless ur trying to cheat me there's nothing to worry about. I was asking for ideas about how to get compensated for expenses and aggravation. I know everyone on this thread agreed what happened to me was wrong. Now I just need to know what to tell thier rav

Again I will say: I see one response that kind of implicitly said you have a case for din Torah, not one single other poster insinuated this in any way. Not one single poster responded that you should be compensated. Learn from your mistake and move on
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 7:37 pm
amother wrote:
What does that mean? Am I supposed to be ok with someone lying to me and loosing money? Besides unless ur trying to cheat me there's nothing to worry about. I was asking for ideas about how to get compensated for expenses and aggravation. I know everyone on this thread agreed what happened to me was wrong. Now I just need to know what to tell thier rav


Why do you keep saying that everyone on this thread agrees that what happened to you is wrong?
Are you actually reading the responses?
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 8:11 pm
OP, check the law in your state. I know from personal experience as a buyer and a seller that sellers are specifically allowed to continue considering (and accepting) offers until both sides have finalized the contract. I too lost a house that I thought I had while we were negotiating who would pay for things that showed up in the inspection. Someone else came in with a higher offer. My real estate agent told me that in those states, it's rare for sellers to agree to stop showing or reviewing offers until the contract was signed with all terms (who pays for the termite damage, whatever). Our lawyer had a set fee for contract review and closing but we still ended up paying a small amount for his reviewing that contract. Legally, they did not need to return out indirection fee and they didn't . We could have tried to outbid the other buyer but chose not to. That was our choice. We also withdrew from buying a house once (under legal circumstances). The seller asked us to pay their legal fees. I felt bad because they had taken the house off of the market for a couple of weeks so we did--but we'd finitely were not legally or morally obligated. I just thought it would be nice and I felt bad for the family selling the house for various (non-financial ) reasons.
I'm sorry you lost your money, but it happens.
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 9:28 pm
I have had a buyer attempt to back out while we were on our way to meet the lawyer, after 2 weeks of spending time on the contract, negotiations, and spending money to check it out b/c someone offered them more money off the cuff on the way to our signing and it was our loss.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 9:51 pm
The whole first page of this thread is filled with people who agree with and feel bad for me. What about our agmas Nefesh? Why is this different than a shtar mechila when a couple breaks up? What about anything bad that could Chas vshalom happen to them because of the way they treated us?
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 9:59 pm
amother wrote:
The whole first page of this thread is filled with people who agree with and feel bad for me. What about our agmas Nefesh? Why is this different than a shtar mechila when a couple breaks up? What about anything bad that could Chas vshalom happen to them because of the way they treated us?



I think we all for sorry for you that this happened but I think we also ALL agree that this is just part of the game. Unfortunately, a verbal agreement means NOTHING. You also could've changed your mind. You seem like a very erlich and honest person and so your having a hard time accepting this idea, but again, a verbal agreement means zilch.
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 10:05 pm
amother wrote:
The whole first page of this thread is filled with people who agree with and feel bad for me. What about our agmas Nefesh? Why is this different than a shtar mechila when a couple breaks up? What about anything bad that could Chas vshalom happen to them because of the way they treated us?


I honestly feel terrible for you. It sounds like you had your heart set on this house but at the same time I don't think you're right.
Nothing is set in stone without a contract.
That's just the way it works with the housing market.
What happened to you is quite common and legal.

Hatzlacha- I hope things work out for you either with this house or with a different one.
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amother
Orange


 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 10:29 pm
Sometimes deals fall through. That's how it goes. It's not personal, and it's part of the process.

If you dated someone and broke up, would you expect to be compensated for the cost of dating? Of course not. If you went to a job interview and weren't hired, should the interviewing company pay your transportation and child care costs for the day? Of course not. Sometimes, you invest in a possibility. No one is going to guarantee you results.

Please try to see this as a real estate transaction and not some kind of ethics test for the sellers.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 11:36 pm
amother wrote:
the whole house hunting/buying is stressful sometimes especially since even wen a person has a contract, the buyer still loses "" money for the inspection if the inspector sees something wrong which causes the buyer to "bac out"

. good luck finding a house that's "healthy " and fits ur budget


This.

Even if everyone is being above-board house deals often fall apart because the inspection shows flaws that nobody is willing to pay for, or sometimes the house appraises for less than the agreed price and you can't get a mortgage.

Usually contracts have a contingency that spell out under what conditions the buyer and seller can back out. I don't know what kind of contract you signed or what conditions were in it. For next time don't put money into an inspection without having an inspection contingency in the contract.

when we bought our house, for every little thing the contract had to be rewritten. We needed to get an extension because the loan wasn't ready on time, it had to go back and forth a few times.

I'm sorry you lost the money, it sounds like it was a big sum for you but honestly the costs of buying a house are a lot bigger than the costs of the inspection/lawyer. If the loss of $500 is this devastating for you maybe you are not ready financially to buy a house. Sorry to be so blunt.
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Fri, Jul 15 2016, 12:05 am
amother wrote:
The whole first page of this thread is filled with people who agree with and feel bad for me. What about our agmas Nefesh? Why is this different than a shtar mechila when a couple breaks up? What about anything bad that could Chas vshalom happen to them because of the way they treated us?


I will tell you how this is different than a shtar mechila when a couple breaks up (whatever that is): this is business; not a relationship. And whether they owe you anything is determined by straight up halacha, not your feelings. Your rav says they don't owe you anything. What is your issue beyond what halacha says they must do? Everyone feels bad for you but pretty much no one thinks they have a legal or halachic obligation to repay your costs. Are you trying to say your rav is wrong??
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Fri, Jul 15 2016, 8:11 am
Also, as others said, the inspector comes after you sign something with them. First you get a written agreement. Somewhere in there addresses whether or not they are allowed to accept additional offers. Once you have that signed agreement, THEN you get the inspector. (You can still back out of the house if something comes up in the inspection you don't like).
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imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 15 2016, 9:10 am
amother wrote:
What about anything bad that could Chas vshalom happen to them because of the way they treated us?

That's so generous of you that you care about them. How can they be protected from that happening?
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amother
Blue


 

Post Fri, Jul 15 2016, 9:53 am
In a "hot" real estate market a seller will back out of a deal with a buyer if they get even a whif of an idea that the buyer will be difficult.
Real estate can be a stressful and trying time even in the best circumstances, throw in a difficult buyer it becomes a living h-ll. So it's something to think about. Your behavior in every situation is looked at- don't be difficult.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 15 2016, 10:05 am
imasoftov wrote:
That's so generous of you that you care about them. How can they be protected from that happening?

She can find closure somehow, then be mochel them. Best protection ever.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 15 2016, 10:12 am
I'm surprised by the lack of consideration for Halacha that seems to be prevalent on this post, though I have to say I've seen this in real life. Recently, the parents of my relative had a verbal agreement on a house in my neighborhood. Seems at the last minute, a really wealthy person stepped in with a better offer and the whole thing fell apart. They had incurred expenses and were also really hurt that frum people would act this way.

There are Halachos regarding verbal agreements, and the casual disregard may be legal, but it is not the Torah way.

OP, I would certainly think you should speak to your Rav about this.
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 15 2016, 10:17 am
Chayalle wrote:
I'm surprised by the lack of consideration for Halacha that seems to be prevalent on this post, though I have to say I've seen this in real life. Recently, the parents of my relative had a verbal agreement on a house in my neighborhood. Seems at the last minute, a really wealthy person stepped in with a better offer and the whole thing fell apart. They had incurred expenses and were also really hurt that frum people would act this way.

There are Halachos regarding verbal agreements, and the casual disregard may be legal, but it is not the Torah way.

OP, I would certainly think you should speak to your Rav about this.


If I read correctly she DID speak to her Rav who said that she most likely has no case.
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