Is it possible to live on a single income?

amother

Wheat

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 8:58 am

I work 8 hours a day and I am very burned out. I've been working full time for over 5 years and I need a break. I'm iyh due in 6 months and babysitting costs are so high. Half my salary would be going to the babysitter.
We have 1 child in school already that costs $350 a month.
I know a lot of ladies who stay at home, how do they do it?
After going through my finances we would be short $1600 a month.
DH makes $55,000 and is due for a raise soon so that would cover a few hundred a month.
I would consider working part time which would cover the missing funds but then I would need to pay for babysitting.

amother

Maroon

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 9:05 am

amother wrote:

Simple formula....At the end of the day if the money coming in is more than the money going out, your ok. Some families can pull it off with one parent working and some need both. Some need both working and additional help on top of their salaries to meet their bills. If you say you would be $1600 short each month if you quit your job then it doesn't sound like your a good candidate to stop working. Btw, I'm in the same boat. I would desperately like to stop working but can't afford to.

DrMom

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 9:21 am

Of course it's possible to live on one income, assuming said income is sufficiently large (or, conversely, if your expenses are sufficiently small).

amother

Green

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 9:43 am

also take into account how your expenses will increase and what today is optional will one day become mandatory.
Like now you can keep your baby home. But in 5 years he will start school and tuition will become mandatory. Will you be able to re-enter the work force at that time to make the difference.

Also are there any big ticket items you get through your work - health insurance - that you may lose that will cost more in the long run.

I think many of us would really like to stop working...its so grueling.

Switching to part time may be a good solution.

mommy3b2c

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 9:48 am

DrMom wrote:

Of course it's possible to live on one income, assuming said income is sufficiently large (or, conversely, if your expenses are sufficiently small).

This. I find it interesting when people asked this. We live on only my husbands salary because it covers all our expenses. When it didn't, I worked.

tichellady

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 12:06 pm

I think living on $55k ( and having a safety net) while paying for school would be very challenging for most families ( unless you have very cheap rent or something). Would it be possible to work one less day a week( but keep your babysitter so you have some " me time" ) or leave an hour earlier each day so your evening is less rushed? Perhaps you can talk with your boss about this.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 3:30 pm

Listen it depends on a lot. Also, it's a question of what are you willing to give up. Last year we lived on about $40K, also 2 kids. This year, I don't know yet. We have one, cheap car that DH takes to work. We don't buy any extras. We live OOT, we never eat out or go on vacation. I don't have a sheital, I'm wearing the same shoes I bought before I got married, my kids wear a lot of 2nd hand, etc, we never go on a date that costs money or ever hire a babysitter, I cook everything from scratch to keep our grocery bill low, but it's worth it to us.

Factor in that if you make $55K and have 2 kids you will probably qualify for WIC and probably for health insurance assistance and your taxes will be lower.

amother

Lemon

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 7:16 pm

amother wrote:

I think that living on $40K with 2 kids would be harder to pull off "in town" than OOT.

Also, look into it, but I doubt you would qualify for WIC with an income of $55K and two children. Even though that salary may not enough to support a frum family of 4, I don't think it's considered a very low income in the general society.

OP, I really feel for you. I would also love to be able to stop working but can't afford it. I am a single mother and don't get any child support, but even when I was married my salary was necessary. I make a little under $55K now and I have two children, and I would also be at least $1,000 short a month without help from my parents (even though I just rent a two-bedroom apartment and live quite simply), so it sounds like your calculations make sense.

I liked the suggestions of tichellady that you try to work out a way to decrease your hours. It's quite possible that having one day off or a bit of a shorter day would really help the burned out feeling because it could help ease the pressure of always feeling rushed and because it would give you some time for yourself to regroup or to take care of things that need to get done in a less pressured way.

Blessing1

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 7:27 pm

Amother lemon, everyone is qualified for WIC, no matter the income.
I think kids up to age 5, & pregnant women.

amother

Mauve

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 7:30 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

Amother lemon, everyone is qualified for WIC, no matter the income.
I think kids up to age 5, & pregnant women.

I dont believe thats true. Its just a higher income level then EBT and medicaid

amother

Lemon

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 7:31 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

Amother lemon, everyone is qualified for WIC, no matter the income.
I think kids up to age 5, & pregnant women.

Are you sure? When my children were born, representatives from WIC came around in the hospital and when they heard my income and family size they told me I wasn't eligible.

https://www.health.ny.gov/prev...../wic/

amother

Smokey

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 7:54 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

Amother lemon, everyone is qualified for WIC, no matter the income.
I think kids up to age 5, & pregnant women.

Not everyone-but it's much higher than for other programs.

https://www.health.ny.gov/prev.....s.htm

amother

Jade

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 8:19 pm

Right now we live in nyc and I don't know if we can swing it on 2 salaries. Seriously considering moving OOT and hoping we can do it

tichellady

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 8:35 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

Amother lemon, everyone is qualified for WIC, no matter the income.
I think kids up to age 5, & pregnant women.

THis is just not true at all

pesek zman

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 9:13 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

Amother lemon, everyone is qualified for WIC, no matter the income.
I think kids up to age 5, & pregnant women.

Where did you hear this.

You are 100% wrong

amother

Yellow

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 10:54 pm

pesek zman wrote:

Where did you hear this.

You are 100% wrong

It used to be true. They changed the rules.

amother

Blue

Fri, Jul 15 2016, 12:37 am

Yes it is, BUT...

1 - You have to be willing to make some changes that you may not want to make. How do you feel about moving to a smaller or not as nice apartment? Or maybe even a cheaper neighborhood? How about giving up the take out food, new clothes, etc. unless truly needed? What about when your friends or family members are all going to get together somewhere and you have to miss out because you literally can't afford to go? I don't mean anything pricey, sometimes even a pizza run can be a stretch. (And yes, of course there are ways to socialize that don't involve cash). How do you feel about being the person in your shul with the worn out shoes, wig, clothes, etc.? If you're comfortable with that for you, how do you feel about that for your kids and spouse?

2 - Have you thought about the strain this may put on you (and your spouse, and the two of you as a couple)? You need to have a frank talk together of what you both envision this change meaning. Will you be doing more of the housework because you no longer have the babysitter to help with that? Will you cook more to avoid doing take out? What about all the doctor's appointments, playdate runs, grocery runs, etc. that your babysitter handles? Will that fall on you exclusively, or will you and your husband divide up the work? What about the things that he enjoys doing - how much of your husband's day-to-day life will change if you are no longer working? There is no "wrong" answer to that question, but you need to realize that not working will carry stress of it's own. If you are both ok with that, fine. If not, then maybe this isn't the way to go.

3 - There's no reason this has to be an all-or-nothing situation. Plenty of moms (myself included) consider themselves to be stay-at-home moms, even though they bring in an income. Babysitting another kid while you're home with your own, tutoring in the evenings, telemarketing or computer work from home are all options. Some companies let their workers telecommute - is this something your company offers? I know of people who have an arrangement where they go into work a few days a week and do work from home the rest of the week, so that may be something else to look into (at least your sitting costs would go down).

I would like to point out just two more things for you to consider...

1 - Do you have the temperament to be a stay-at-home mom? If you crave adult conversation and companionship or adore the challenges your work provides, you may have a tough adjustment.

2 - Can you take some time off from work - even just a week or so - and see how you feel after that? If you took a leave of absence as opposed to quitting, could you come back to your old job or something similar? It's never a great idea to make decisions this large when you're upset, not to mention probably not quite yourself due to pregnancy hormones.

You asked if it's possible. The truth is, there is a very big gap between "possible" and "easy". My husband and I knew from the beginning (we even discussed it when we were dating) that we wanted our kids raised by us and not by strangers. Yes, we've had family members or close friends sometimes babysit, but it's basically been me or my husband with the kids since they were born. I don't regret it - it was the right choice for us - but it was HARD. It meant doing odd things like having potatoes for a main course for dinner or taping eyeglasses together until the money could be scraped together (several months later) to buy another pair. It meant taking night jobs after my husband got home from work or on weekends when he was home. It meant putting cardboard in shoes and sewing up holes in sneakers, or in one case sewing up holes in a mattress because there was no way the budget was going to stretch right then for a new one. Please understand, I would never try to dissuade you from making this switch if you were doing it because you felt it was the right thing for your kids. That's a very personal decision and not one that someone else could or should make for your family. I just don't want you going into this thinking that this is the easier option. Both paths have their challenges and you need to carefully weigh which path is best for you and your loved ones.

Hug

DrMom

Fri, Jul 15 2016, 1:30 am

I realize my opinion won't be popular here, but here is how I see it:

You have to make financial plans, and that includes setting yourself (and your kids) up for financial success. That means educating in order to enable them to be financially self-sufficient. When your long-term financial plan relies on welfare or foodstamps, you are doing something wrong.

If you know from the get-go (as most frum Jews do) that you want to send your kids to yeshiva/private schools, you know from the start that this will be a significant expense. You either need to get an education which will allow you to go into a very lucrative profession, or you need connections in a lucrative family business, or you need to plan for fewer children, or you need to plan to send to public school, or you need to plan to live somewhere OOT, or you need to live *very* frugally.

You simply won't have the cashflow to cover private school tuition and new clothes each year for 12 kids in NYC if your only skill is babysitting and stacking bozes at Walmart.

It seems like families are just stuck in these hopeless cycles of debt for generation after generation because nobody does hishtaldut.

amother

Black

Fri, Jul 15 2016, 1:46 am

OP - I live on about that much but with the help of Medicaid, not much else.

breakdown as follows

Rent : 1500
food: 1200
Bills: 700
IN your case school 350

that's 3750 for basics so you'd be left with about $400 a week for everything else, depending on your situation (how much rent is, if you have car payments etc) that could work, for sure for a year or two until the baby is older and you are more ready to work. Especially if you have savings. Also there is a earned income tax credit that would probably bring in enough for a yearly emergency fund.

You will be tight but it is a reasonable idea.

aqua1

Fri, Jul 15 2016, 3:08 am

amother wrote:

OP -

breakdown as follows

Rent : 1500
food: 1200
Bills: 700
IN your case school 350

For a family with 2 small children, food can be a lot less than $1200/m