Question about working vs. staying home

amother

Scarlet

Mon, Jul 18 2016, 11:15 pm

I have a small family, and my children are now old enough that they are in school all day. I work out of financial necessity, and, between keeping up with my responsibilities at home and at work, I feel like I am almost constantly rushing, stressed, and overwhelmed with too many things to do. I always say (mostly just to myself), that if I didn't have to work for financial reasons I would give up my job in and instant (even though for the most part I like my job), and say good-bye to running on the treadmill that I always feel I am on. I can't imagine choosing to work if I didn't have to. There are so many things I wish I had time for now, that I feel like, if I didn't work, I would still always be busy and would never get bored, but I would be more relaxed.

But, sometimes I wonder if that's really true. Maybe I am crazy to think that I would not be bored and would keep busy all the time even without a job outside of the house? Maybe I just think I would love not working because I have to work and I am burned out? Maybe I would actually miss working or miss the social interaction (even though I am definitely and introvert)? Or, on the flip side, maybe I would still feel like there is always too much to do?

Of course, every person is different, and I am sure there are many who could never imagine wanting to stay home once their kids are in school (either because they know they would get bored or would go crazy without more social interaction, or they would feel unproductive, or many other reasons that totally make sense depending on one's personality and needs). I just wonder if there are any people out there who don't work and whose kids are in school all day (or past school age altogether) and who find that they enjoy not working outside the home, and that they are not bored and but are also not constantly rushed and stressed, or if I am imagining something that doesn't actually exist.

This is not really a practical question for me, since I don't see myself being able to afford not to work any time soon, but I feel like having some perspective from people in the situation would clarify my internal dialogue and be a reality check in case I am way off in my thinking.

amother

Brown

Mon, Jul 18 2016, 11:26 pm

I currently stay at home and I'm not happy.
I'm also an introvert but I miss at least some social interaction! In the summer I go on walks and to the park, but winter can be lonely.
Also, in a world where most of my female acquaintances are professionals/businesswomen/do some other job, I feel stupid when I say that I'm a sahm, and I feel stupid in front of my husband, kind of inferior to the other women he knows.
I love my child to pieces but I anyways have to send him out for a few hours a day because my introverted personality can't handle being with kids all day.
(I do work from home, but so few hours that it doesn't feel significant.)
I am pursuing a degree- I had to stop until my husband graduated, because we couldn't afford 2 tuitions at once. So that will make me feel better, and I do hope to begin working out of the home.
While it is more relaxing, I don't feel justified in wasting my time online or reading or whatnot and I spend a lot of time feeling guilty for wasting time instead of maximizing every minute by cleaning/organizing/cooking.
It is much less hectic though- I can schedule doctors appointments when I please, go shopping etc
So it's possible the grass is always greener on the other side!

amother

Scarlet

Mon, Jul 18 2016, 11:43 pm

amother wrote:

Didn't think of that aspect. I tend to feel guilty about that type of thing, so I could see that making me a little nuts. Now, when I don't maximize my time, I feel guilty because I know it will come back to haunt me since my time is so limited, but at least I tell myself that I have to chill out sometimes or I will totally burn out.

Hatzlacha with finishing your degree and hope you find a job you enjoy!!

amother

Scarlet

Tue, Jul 19 2016, 12:04 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

I bh have a baby now, but I've been home with they kids in school for a full day and it was awesome! It was exactly as you describe. Never boring, always something to do, at a more relaxing pace. Now I'm home with the baby while the kids are in school all day. It's still awesome!

Thanks for your response. I'm not sure exactly why, but hearing this actually makes me feel better.

amother

Cerulean

Tue, Jul 19 2016, 6:48 am

I sort of get the bests of both worlds because I do shift work so I work 3 days a week and I'm off the rest. Due to scheduling that can basically equal a full week off in a row without using pto. I hate the days I have to work and since schedule doesn't usually come out that idyllic I'm usually too tired to get much done on my off days. Don't even manage to make it to the gym. I like that I'm not working and spend more time with the kids but don't always get so far as making dinner!