Baby crying for 2 hours in bed.Do I take him out?

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 2:52 pm

Im trying to sleep train my baby. He only falls asleep nursing- by day and at night. Hes 13 months old and I literally haven't slept in 13 months!! Wakes up about 3 or 4 times a night to nurse, naps for about 45 min a day, goes to sleep late...and hangs onto me all day! Hes tired all day cuz he doesn't have normal sleeping schedule. This morning I decide THIS IS IT! I put him in bed w a bottle and hes still crying 2 hours later! I hafta go out - do I take him out or just skip going out and let him cry longer??

sweetpotato

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 2:58 pm

Did you put him in his crib for a nap? Afaik, most of the sleep training programs aren't for napping but for nighttime sleep. And do you mean you left him without going to him at all for 2 hours? I don't think even the strictest sleep training program has you do that with a 13 month old. In 2 hours, he could be hungry, need a diaper change.

Sleep changes don't happen in a day. You're frustrated and tired, which you should address first and then come up with a plan for your baby. It's so hard. Lots of hugs, take a deep breath and know that it will get easier and better.

amother

Silver

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 3:02 pm

I could've written this post!!! I did not function my baby's first+ year!!
In terms of letting him cry it out or not-warning you will get lots of different feedback from yes you should to can someone call social services!!
There are so many books on this!! I found that my baby was really hungry and once I started solids he was happier. What I did with one of my kids was had my DH lay in the room and sing to him because I didn't want him to feel alone. Until I stopped nursing I'd send my DH into the room for anything because once he saw me all he wanted was me.
I liked this book (only read parts of it and applied and helped out)
https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Wh.....abies

rachel6543

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 3:05 pm

I know what you're going through! My son didn't sleep through the night until he was 16-17 months old, nursing every 2-3 hrs all night! This is what I did to wean night time nursing. I started out by cutting out one nursing at a time. First when the 8pm nursing. Instead of nursing I would rock him for a minute or rub his back until he feel asleep. I would tell him gently no nursing now, it's sleepy time. I also encouraged him to use his pacifier. I did that for a few days. Then went the 11pm nursing, then the 1 am nursing. Did the same for a few days. Then went the 5am nursing. Took 2 weeks, but then my son was sleeping through the night!

I also had one of those musical fishy crib toys that attaches to the crib side. My son learned to use that to self soothe. He learned to turn it on himself and would watch the fishes move and listen to the music.

also, I would recommend working on a consistent bedtime routine and bed time. Make bed time the same every night and the same routine. For my son as a toddler bedtime was something like bath, pjs, brush teeth, story book and cuddling in rocking chair while I sang a song. Then he was put to bed. Also, sounds like an early bedtime may be beneficial.

Also, is the bedroom dark? I recommend to get blackout curtains to make the room dark. That helped with my son a lot too.

Good luck!!!

amother

Pewter

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 3:37 pm

My baby is exactly same age and I have to tell you this ... You don't know what you doing and you must have really heart of stone. Poor baby. Sleep training is for night time and you have to check on baby often. Crying for 2 hours staight is counterproductive as the baby will feel abandoned and less likely to cooperate. Also if kid is well fed he will not incist on nursing often

Chayalle

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 3:40 pm

pesek zman wrote:

I definitely recommend sleep training but as others have stated, it's usually recommended to start with night sleep (and to start breaking some of the bad habits, like nursing him to sleep)

I recommend reading Ferber

This. Read the Ferber method, which is about keeping on going in to your baby even while he has to remain in his crib and go to sleep. A child that age should not be left crying for a long period of time without keeping contact, or the child will feel abandoned. He can't be expected to sleep on his own "cold turkey" - he needs training.

daagahminayin

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 5:24 pm

OP didn't say that she hasn't gone in all the time her baby has been crying. She didn't say that she wasn't following an existing method. I've tried some of them and a lot just expect your baby to be asleep by 2 hours - they don't give instructions for what to do if their amazing method doesn't work. Often they actually do tell you not to give up and to keep at it so your baby doesn't get the message that if they cry long enough you will come.

yidisheh mama

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 6:40 pm

I'd suggest you try sleep separation. It really worked for my lil kiddo. I'd tried everything before that, and she sounded just like yours- crying till it was time for next feeding... On the third day of trying this, she went to sleep without a fuss and was sleeping less than 15 mins after I put her to bed.
http://www.lifestyle.com.au/vi......aspx

the world's best mom

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 7:02 pm

Before I start, I should warn you that I am against CIO in general.

Now.

Even Ferber says his method is too tough for some kids. Some kids can handle sleep training while others cannot.

When your baby cries, he is using the only language he knows to try to tell you something. If a baby cries for 5 minutes each night and then goes to sleep, you know he's just tired and needs sleep. But if the kid is not settled in any routine, you really can't know what he's trying to tell you. Maybe he wants some love- and that's a valid need. Maybe he wants to nurse. Maybe something hurts him. Maybe he's cutting a tooth. Maybe he needs a clean diaper.

SO you are taking a big risk by ignoring him. Hashem didn't give us children so we can ignore them when they need things. He has a valid need and you are depriving him and that's not fair.

I do think it is possible for some children to be sleep trained in a way that is not cruel. Other children can't handle it. But this is too much for anyone.

forever21

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 7:40 pm

Anonymrs, I was wondering the same thing .
OP, I really hope you didn't let him cry for two hours straight without going in there !
I get that you need sleep and your baby needs sleep but don't let him cry for more than 15 min at a time without going in there and soothing him . Two hours Is way way too long .

Kangeroo

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 10:16 pm

Hi OP,

You may want to consider a sleep training method that advocates a more gradual, gentler approach - It starts by soothing the baby by the bed/crib side and over a period of a few weeks, you move farther away. For example, after a few days you soothe from a chair in the middle of the room, then maybe just inside the door, then just outside the door so he can see you, then perhaps from the hallway or adjacent room where baby can still hear you but not see you.

I learned about this approach from the book Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. I found it very helpful because it also provides guidelines about how much sleep a child needs according to age and sample sleeping/eating schedules. It also discusses how to night wean as well as how to nap train.

I am still working out night-time and daytime sleep with my baby but her sleep has improved greatly after applying some of the advice from this book.

All the best -

pointyshoes

Fri, Jul 22 2016, 12:17 am

rachel6543 wrote:

The image of a little baby calming them self with the fishes just made me smile Smile

So cute!!!