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-> Vacation and Traveling
naomi2
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 Mon, Jul 25 2016, 9:45 am
Hi LA amothers!
Dh and I will be in LA for the last shobbos in August (27th) and would rather have a regular shobbos experience than get takeout in a hotel room. If anyone is interesting in hosting us for room and board please pm me thank you!
We are both born and bred Brooklyners, just plain frum. I can give you my rav as a character reference (and call yours as well) so you can be sure we aren't scammers or nuts 
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amother
Sapphire
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 9:56 am
To clarify, you are asking the locals to subsidize your vacation costs over Shabbos?
If yes, that is the very definition of scamming.
If I am wrong, then please clarify.
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doctorima
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 10:03 am
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Maybe try Shabbat.com, or find a hotel near a shul, and then contact t he shul hospitality committee to help arrange meals.
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naomi2
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 10:25 am
Thank you dr ima
amother, you are wrong
as I stated in my op, I would rather have a shobbos experience than be in a hotel. the rest of the vacation is costing an arm and a leg, what we would save for shobbos is miniscule. also, since I am being up front with everyone I don't consider it a scam. Im not tricking anyone into hosting me or falsifying/withholding information. I myself have hosted strangers for shobbos before and have had a wonderful experience.
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amother
Crimson
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 10:33 am
| amother wrote: | To clarify, you are asking the locals to subsidize your vacation costs over Shabbos?
If yes, that is the very definition of scamming.
If I am wrong, then please clarify. |
I am actually shocked at this uncharitable interpretation of OP's request.
She is asking for hospitality - how on earth is that a scam and what is wrong with asking to be hosted for Shabbat?
OP is being entirely up front.
No one is forcing or tricking anyone into doing anything they are not interested in doing.
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amother
White
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 10:36 am
| amother wrote: | To clarify, you are asking the locals to subsidize your vacation costs over Shabbos?
If yes, that is the very definition of scamming.
If I am wrong, then please clarify. |
Amazing how people interpret things.....Many jews like helping out and accommodating other jews. Especially when it comes to shabbos. She's not asking for anyone to pay for her flight or show tickets. A simple request like I'm gonna be away from home for shabbos can anyone host me, gets so wildly taken out of context it's unbelievable.
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ruchelbuckle
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 11:27 am
I am also pretty taken aback by the AMOTHER's OBNOXIOUS reply.
Yes, basically the original poster is asking people to "subsidize....vacation costs over shabbos."
However, she is being upfront. she is not lying or as you say "scamming"--She doesn't want to eat takeout in a hotel room over shabbos--- is that so terrible? She wants to sit at a shabbos table, socialize, etc... She is asking. No ONE is OBLIGATED to put her up.
I live in a tiny community that is close to a very popular frum vacation spot. almost every week in the summer, our community email list has tons of messages like this: "Someone reached out to me and is looking for a place for shabbos in our city." Yes, basically these people are looking to "mooch" off of us locals for shabbos. Is that SOOO terrible?
I don't have a dedicated guest room-- I usually rearrange my kids, which is hard at the last minute. So my thought is usually, "Sorry, I can't cause myself so much extra work for someone else's vacation." (no, I never say that out loud!) That being said, I am always happy to have travelers join us for a meal (I did this past shabbos. My kids were very excited to meet a real-life person from BROOKLYN!) And, we are always happy to host sleepover guests with notice.
Furthermore, I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with someone asking to be hosted. If a potential host isn't available (for whatever reason), it's their obligation to say so!
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sprayonlove
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 11:32 am
| amother wrote: | To clarify, you are asking the locals to subsidize your vacation costs over Shabbos?
If yes, that is the very definition of scamming.
If I am wrong, then please clarify. |
Wow where is your sense of hospitality?
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amother
Peach
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 11:43 am
She can ask ... what's wrong with that!?!
I'm not in LA, but I have heard from other people who live in/near vacation spots that they don't like to host strangers because it's expensive and/or time consuming. HOWEVER, there very well could be some LA amothers that are having a very quiet summer and would love company. (I myself would be very wary of hosting a stranger because I have had a bad experience with that. I now say no to those requests, but I do host people that I know tangentially such as a friends' parents, etc).
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Chayalle
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 11:57 am
I live near a Simcha hall so I'm frequently asked to host people's company (for sleeping). I think it's fine to ask, and I can say no if I'm not up to it.
I recently had a treat - I said yes to hosting someone's guest, and it turned out to be the younger sister of a very dear friend of mine whom I'm not in touch with as much as I'd like...didn't realize her younger sister married my neighbor's brother! It was so fun, and she had a daughter close to DD's age - kept her busy all Shabbos.
Sometimes we get to be the biggest beneficiaries....
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amother
Purple
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 12:01 pm
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I live in a smallish community and I frequently receive requests to host vacationers. I really resent it; it gets quite expensive and we are living on a tight budget. In fact, I posted about this last year after getting so many requests.
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ruchelbuckle
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 12:17 pm
| amother wrote: | | I live in a smallish community and I frequently receive requests to host vacationers. I really resent it; it gets quite expensive and we are living on a tight budget. In fact, I posted about this last year after getting so many requests. |
Absolutely. Just because you're frum, it doesn't mean you need to be running a hotel.
But just because you resent it, I don't think you'd sink so low as to call OP a "scammer" because she asked!
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amother
Puce
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 12:18 pm
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If you resent it don't do it.
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tichellady
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 12:19 pm
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What community do you want to be in? Pico Robertson, Hancock park, or north Hollywood? I think you could find meals in Pico Robertson but probably not a place to sleep ( there are hotels). In north Hollywood people may put you up.not sure about Hancock park. Pm me if you want to go to a modern orthodox shul in Pico Robertson ( not sure that's what you are looking for)
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amother
Purple
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 12:22 pm
| ruchelbuckle wrote: |
But just because you resent it, I don't think you'd sink so low as to call OP a "scammer" because she asked! |
Of course!
BTW - I wasn't the first amother who called scammer
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ruchelbuckle
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 12:26 pm
| amother wrote: | Of course!
BTW - I wasn't the first amother who called scammer |
Oh, I know! That's why I said, "I don't think YOU would sink so low" 
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The Happy Wife
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 12:32 pm
| amother wrote: | | I live in a smallish community and I frequently receive requests to host vacationers. I really resent it; it gets quite expensive and we are living on a tight budget. In fact, I posted about this last year after getting so many requests. |
So you have to know your limits. I don't think there's anything wrong with people asking but if you cannot you should feel comfortable saying no.
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amother
Cerulean
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 12:35 pm
Personally when I go away I rather be in hotel on my own. When my parents go away they always like to go to a family.
I would suggest you contact a chana there and ask them to find you a place to go. It usually works.
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tichellady
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 12:44 pm
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I have had really great experiences hosting and being hosted while vacationing. If someone asking to be hosted gets you so upset- you need to work on yourself. And like everyone else said its ok to say no. But you don't have to judge people for asking
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amother
Ruby
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Mon, Jul 25 2016, 1:04 pm
We are usually happy to open our house to strangers for a meal, but haven't had strangers stay in our home before. And personally, we much prefer to be guests for a meal than to stay in someone's house. It's just sooo much more comfortable to have your own space and not feel on top of people all Shabbos - I find that exhausting!
But I don't find it imposing or like mooching when people ask to be hosted for a meal - so long as they are good guests. And they usually do "contribute" by bringing some really nice wine, or something like that.
If we feel like we are just not up to it, emotionally or financially, then we just don't offer. Also, our shul each week has one or two families that are responsible for hachnassat orchim, so all of the "extras" who need or want a shabbos meal can go to them. Weeks where there are a lot of people needing meals, the Rabbi usually knows in advance and will make sure that there are 2 or 3 families hosting. I think it's a good system because you only sign up for hacnassat orchid if you want to and can afford it.
I do feel for those amothers who are constantly bombarded by requests for shabbat hospitality because of where they live (near vacation spots or a hall or something). That must be really exhausting, especially those stories we hear where there is so much pressure to always say yes.
But OP was just making an open request for hosting which we are all free to accept or decline, no questions asked, no pressure.....so that really doesn't bother me at all. I don't think she deserves to be called a moocher!!
I used to live in Pico Robertson. There are plenty of hotels there near the shuls. If you stay there in a hotel you may have more luck getting invites for meals than for sleeping.
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