Which school in five towns for my son with social issues?

amother

Lime

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:17 pm

We are moving to the five towns. My boys are currently in a chassidic yeshiva and I'm wondering which yeshiva would be the best fit for us. I'm hearing such conflicting reviews!

My oldest has some social/ behavioral issues but is not on medication. Is it true that Darchei puts kids with issues on meds?

Who would be most understanding and help my kids adjust to a new culture?

Any info would be greatly appreciated.

Maya

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:27 pm

Do you want your kids to stay in a Chassidish environment?

We were not impressed with the administration at Darchei, especially at the lack of response to our questions about individuality and nurturing each child according to his abilities. The guy practically laughed in our faces for even asking such questions, ignored them, and kept on turning the conversation back to why we were leaving Monsey.

To us as visitors, it seemed like a big factory, but you should wait to hear from mothers who send their sons there.

Last edited by Maya on Sun, Jul 31 2016, 9:13 pm; edited 2 times in total

amother

Lime

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:30 pm

No, I don't want them to stay chassidic. I just want the school to be understanding and help them adjust in a new environment.

Maya

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:32 pm

amother wrote:

No, I don't want them to stay chassidic. I just want the school to be understanding and help them adjust in a new environment.

Do you have other options? I wouldn't put high hopes on this one.

amother

Bronze

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:33 pm

I don't believe there is any 5 towns school that is a good fit for a chassidish boy with social issues. To begin with it would be challenging for a chassidish boy to fit into a litfish class. On top of that he has social issues??? The likelihood of a new, chassidish boy, who has social issues feeling comfortable in a 5 towns litfish class is close to zero
You will be putting your son in an impossible situation. This won't work.

Maya

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:36 pm

amother wrote:

Maybe south shore?
Just not sure- might be too much of a culture shock for them.

In what direction is your family's hashkafah going? With the right preparation, a child can manage to be okay in any new environment. Honestly, if you're okay with the more modern schools like HALB, they may be more open to guiding your child gently in the new culture, but he will anyway need preparation from beforehand.

Maya

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:41 pm

The best way for you to know would be to take tours of all potential schools. Have a list of questions ready to ask them and base your decisions on their answers, plus whatever other impression the school gives off.

amother

Lime

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:41 pm

Maya wrote:

.

We are working hard to prepare them. Language- wise, culturally, and academically.

My son is very smart so academics won't be such an issue.

It will still be a huge adjustment.
Hashkafically- my husband likes to call us JPR ( just plain frum) I guess right wing MO. And looking to grow.

We are worried about getting anti- chassidish attitude as well.

amother

Bronze

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:41 pm

Maya wrote:

This would be the first chassish cheder to halb transition in History. Oh, and the boy has social issues. At face value its a horrible fit.

Maya

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:45 pm

amother wrote:

This would be the first chassish cheder to halb transition in History. Oh, and the boy has social issues. At face value its a horrible fit.

When we took the school tour at HALB, my kid was Chassidish with long curly peyos and they were very receptive to him joining the school. It's not like the child will continue walking around with long curly peyos. And as I said before, he would anyway need social and cultural preparation, so it doesn't matter in the long run.
Are you speaking from experience?

amother

Bronze

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:47 pm

Maya wrote:

I have a feeling they were polite. I'm sure you're kids aren't in halb. They will put you on the "waiting list".

Maya

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:47 pm

amother wrote:

From our experiences, the more modern the school, the more open they were to embracing the "diversity" of a Chassidish kid. I can't speak for how a Chassidish kid will be accepted in a school like Darchei.

I will again suggest the school tours. It's really your best way of finding answers.

amother

Pumpkin

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:47 pm

Not in the 5 towns, but ycq might be a better fit than the 5 towns schools. The student body is much more varied than the schools in the 5 towns, so the kids tend to be less judgmental. The administration is also very accomodating. There is bussing from the 5 towns.

amother

Blush

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:49 pm

amother wrote:

I have a feeling they were polite. I'm sure you're kids aren't in halb. They will put you on the "waiting list".

I have a feeling that you're just talking without any personal experience.

amother

Lime

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:49 pm

amother wrote:

What's ycq? What does it stand for?

Maya

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:50 pm

amother wrote:

I have a feeling they were polite. I'm sure you're kids aren't in halb. They will put you on the "waiting list".

My kids aren't in HALB because we didn't move to the Five Towns. But they are in an equally modern school, where we have been fully accepted with a warmth and excitement that we had never experienced anywhere else before.

amother

Bronze

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 8:54 pm

amother wrote:

I have a feeling that you're just talking without any personal experience.

I live in the 5towns and know many kids in Halb. Halb is a modern orthodox school. Half the mothers don't cover their hair and some wear pants. Why would anyone think its a good fit for a 10 year old boy to switch from a chassidish school to a modern orthodox school? I don't think any halb students can switch to satmar williamsberg either. It's simply a bad fit.